My life story really shouldn’t be summed up simply by words, on the contrary, it would be a number one hit movie.
The night I hung myself I remember vividly the pain I was in. It was a pain that was so raw I felt as if I count bear it. I wrote a letter to my daughters letting them know I loved them, but that mommy could not take to pain anymore, and to please not be mad but to simply pray for me. I also wrote my only friend, my best friend. I thanked her for showing me a love of friendship and patience. Never did she give up on me. In a matter of 6 months, I lost my father and my little brother. Two weeks before my roommate paroled, my mother dies, which sent me over the edge. For 7 years I lived with the same person, we were even transferred down here together.
I made my plans, waited for the C.O. to pass by for count, and followed through on my plan.
I was flat-lined. I was gone. I was in ICU and it could have been the ultimate end.
I didn’t know any other way out. I wanted to be done. I never felt so alone than that night that I hung myself. I wanted to pain to stop, I wanted to go and be with God. I just wanted it all to be over.
Maybe my telling my story and talking about my journey, I can help some others live. Maybe that’s my purpose in life.