LIFE ON THE INSIDE
As I sit in this cold, unwanted cell, with no hope, or feeling of love, wondering how did my life even come to this, or how did this end up being me, or how did I end up being a part of this dark, lost, cold world? NEVER in life, or when I was a little kid, did I think me, myself, and I, would end up in a -- I don't even know what to call this place. This is a crazy, never-ending nightmare that I wish never started. They locked me up, caged me like a lion, and took me away from my family, from my loved ones, like I'm a monster, just terrorizing everything that crosses paths with me. I am wasting and throwing away my precious years in this dump, years that I will never get back. Not even money can buy my years back.
But I'm okay. I don't and am not going to let this break me down physically, mentally, or emotionally. Everyone alive goes through some type of struggle, or struggles, in this life. Everyone just happens to deal with them differently; in a way where one thinks that what we're doing is the right thing, by overcoming our pain and hurt, or, for some people, their fear or retaliation. But look what some of us get. Instead of feeling relief, or finding justice; nothing but prison time. So now a lot of people look at us like we are the worst people, good for nothing for all time, because we're in prison.
Let me say this to you, beautiful ladies, and everyone else who is reading this who is not a woman... I made mistakes, okay? I'm paying for them. Does that still gives people a right to look at me like I'm the lowest scum of the earth, because I'm in prison? Without people knowing me or even talking to me, judging me because of my mistakes. Whatever happened to "Only God can judge me?" Whatever happened with the real criminals; sex offenders, child molesters, rapists and serial killers? I'm not using that as an excuse. I'm talking reality.
I want to say this -- the same people that look or say the worst things about people who are locked up, with respect, look at yourself first. Look in the mirror and know yourself before talking bad about anybody else. Because of some of the same people that say this or that, probably did, or are doing, some bad things themselves. They just haven't been caught yet. Sometimes it takes people having to go through some or certain trials and tribulations in life, where are reality sets in, and where we say, okay; this is it. Time to choose a different route and go the right way in life. Or else some people keep living the same lifestyle, even me, then we're really not going to be nothing in life but failures.
That's where family and friends, close to that person that doesn't listen, or doesn't care to listen, or does not care, everyone around starts to leave, and detach themselves from that person. Because they're not going to let that person bring them down, and why try and help someone that can't or doesn't care about helping or bettering him or herself? Unless they're worth doing it for and a person really loves that person.
Some people learn the hard way and some the easy way, and some don't learn at all. I might be locked up, but they can never lock, or control, my mind, heart, or soul. I have nothing but time to think and realize what I did and what my life has been, and what I can make it to be, so I can progress and succeed in life.
My only reason for saying this, is to say this not everybody in here are as people think, or as people label us as. I am also saying this to speak out to the youth, and everybody living the fast life. Watch yourself. This isn't nothing nice you want to go through and experience. Life is too short and so valuable, to throw it away for nothing. Sometimes we are not fully aware or really fully conscious of our own inner being. We need to find ourselves all the way, fully, so we will not slip and fall in our own paths. We all make mistakes and no one or nobody in this world is perfect.
I say this -- always make the worst, bad situation, into the positive, best one. No matter what, try your best not to stress or be sad. Stay with a big, beautiful smile, put one on every woman's face, and keep a clear mind. You will think better, and if you react with a better attitude, you are going to have a better outcome, and circumstances are that you're going to progress, and be a stronger person. Nothing can get in your way, because nothing can break you down; physically, mentally, and emotionally. With time and patience, things are going to start and go your way. Be prepared for the worst and always hope for the best. Have faith in God and follow your heart to guide you to what is right; and also having faith, as well confidence, in yourself too.
A dream is not up in the sky, up in the stars. It's right there, in your HEART. All you have to do is look hard, believe, and find it. So do what you think, and what you feel, what is right for you. Do not let anyone at all dictate your pace, your footsteps. You only decide that, and always be, stand, and stay strong. This is your life, and you do what you want. We only got, or have, one life to live. So enjoy it and make the best of it.
I've seen a lot and been through a lot. I got another opportunity in life once again. I go home in the next year. If any of you beautiful ladies want knowledge, or want to write a real man, well I'll be right here, and I'm not the type to lie or play with a lady's intelligence.
MAY GOD WATCH OVER EVERYBODY AND YOUR FAMILY. TAKE CARE.
Age/race is not important.
HAPPY NEW YEAR.
We were born to lose, but built win.
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