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Must read Terms of Service & Privacy Policy and be at least 18

 
Leeanna

The last letter I received from H was kind of socially awkward and I'd like some advice on how to handle it. I'll explain.

In my last letter (2nd) to H I sent a single picture because thats the normal thing to do. In his response he calls me a cutie and then says I should send more pictures because a goodlooking woman must have a ton of pics laying around. It's only the third letter from him but a few questions seem rather personal but maybe I'm overreacting He asked me for my weight, height, shoe size. My other PP (who I'm much closer to) has never asked me those questions. Besides, the answers to these seem totally irrelevant to a friendship. Then he makes a small odd comment about women's feet and later asks me to spray my letters with perfume. Overall it was a very brief letter and I didn't get much out of it but questions and requests. I'm disappointed because I feel like I'd be giving more than I get if I continue with a response. I wrote to brighten someone's day, but this wasn't what I had in mind. I was hoping an exchange of friendly letters, not being asked for details of my physical appearance? I'm not really sure where this is heading.

Do you have any advice? Comments? Similar stories?

(edit: oops I posted this in the wrong forum, how can I move this?)


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Aurora Borealis

However we must remember they are men, and they haven't seen a woman in a long time lol.

Yeah, that's true. I tried to send a neutral photo to my pp, I was wearing jeans and hooded jacket and without make up in the pic. I was pretty surprise of his response in which he told how hot etc. I was in the pic. Okay, maybe he was exaggerating but he sounded genuine, plus later he told that nothing is more sexy on a woman than good-fitting jeans. So I was wearing sexy clothes without even realizing it :D

To the original poster. I would feel uncomfortable as well if I was asked such things. Just tell him how you are feeling about it. We have an agreement with both of my pps that everytime either of us goes out of line, the other one has to tell about that.

 
DanteV

Why dont you try making a joke of it first? Write something like, 'i m a teeny tiny midget with oversized clowns feet ' put a big smiley face after and if he gets the joke, then great. If he dosent then you could explain you felt a little uncomfortable.

Like Melanieann, i always put something funny in my first letter like, 'if you want a pic, i'll put my teeth back in first' and all my pp's have laughed.

 
melanieann

He maybe just being nosey just like we are. Maybe he likes to know who he is writing to ?? i tell my pen pals i am 6foot slim and very sexy ha! ha! then at the end of the letter i tell the truth and say 5foot 2ins and just a little bigger ha! i always seem to get a laugh. Why don't you write one more letter and ask him not to ask those things and see if he writes back to you.

 
sunray's wench

I wrote to brighten someone's day, but this wasn't what I had in mind. I was hoping an exchange of friendly letters, not being asked for details of my physical appearance? I'm not really sure where this is heading.

Yes, but as you have now discovered, this penpal thing is not a one-way street. It's not all about what you wanted to do or what you wanted to receive, it is about what the inmate wants as well. So you wanted to brighten his day - is the mental image of a cute girl not allowed to be part of that?

It's not heading anywhere if you don't want it to. That part [I][B]is[/B][/I] down to you.

 
Anonymous

I've never EVER sent a "sexy" photo. I do send photos. I've known my pp a year and I know his family as well. I didn't send a photo for the few few months because I wanted to build a friendship first, within friendship looks should not matter. Some people are comfortable with sending photos and some are not. You shouldn't be afraid to let them know how you are feeling about it, if they can't accept you just want to write like friends and not have sex through pen and paper they should respect your choice if not then they aren't really looking for pp's at all, just entertainment... However we must remember they are men, and they haven't seen a woman in a long time lol.

 
Leeanna

The pic I sent was only of my face. Seemed innocent at the time and I wasn't expecting the reaction it got. I had no intentions of sending additional photos and that hasn't changed. I'll try to politely explain why such questions are too personal. I appreciate the responses.

 
gooddog

Your not allowed to send x-rated pictures, they'll probably be sent back or rejected for you pp to get .

Nah you can send revealing pics to lots of places but many have specific rules about EXACTLY what can and can't be shown or seen in the pic. Check the DOC rules for specifics in that state.

 
Silas Sydenham

Prison penpals sometimes ask for things that, on the surface of it, may seem a little peculiar.
A friend of mine asked for my hat size, I had to go to a hatter's shop to find out, but I sent him my hat size.
His kinfolk (in Amish country) sent me a hat.
I sent him a photograph of me wearing the hat. He was pleased. I was pleased that I had pleased him.
There's none so queer as folk.
And I have the hat to wear on rainy days

 
gooddog

So we should not send any nasty pix huh?? like revealing cause my penpal told me to send him some i just dont feel good bout it either. i already sent like 3 regular ones i think thats enough...well what do u guys think?:welcomesign: sorry for asking such a dumb question just wanted some feed back on whats appropriate or whats a red flag maybe i should stop writing to him? its my first time.

errrrrr.... just because he "asks" you to do anything doesn't mean you should, have to, or will!!!! Don't send pics, write, then change and not write. Make a decision about how he's acting, if he's going to be respectful in any way, and if the answer is no, drop that. THIS IS WHY I don't send pics when "commanded" to or on the first letter. I like to see how a person is going to pan out first. Maybe he'll snap out of it and want a friend instead of a porn site but he's just looking for XXX pics, guess you can decide if that's for you or not and there's your answer. I know what mine would be.

 
Sunshine_lex

Your not allowed to send x-rated pictures, they'll probably be sent back or rejected for you pp to get .

 
Acid010101

So we should not send any nasty pix huh?? like revealing cause my penpal told me to send him some i just dont feel good bout it either. i already sent like 3 regular ones i think thats enough...well what do u guys think?:welcomesign: sorry for asking such a dumb question just wanted some feed back on whats appropriate or whats a red flag maybe i should stop writing to him? its my first time.

 
JoshA

I would be honest with him and tell him what you told us. Tell him those kind of personal questions aren't appreciated and I wouldn't send anymore pictures of yourself. Try to keep your correspondence more friendly and let what he has said in the past go. If he doesn't stop tell him that you have to stop writing to him because he is making your uncomfortable. He might not have very good social skills and needs help adjusting.

 
Sunshine_lex

Maybe you should let him kno,

My PP told me when I feel comfortable to send a pic , that he would appreciate it.
But I did give a description of myself because I found it fair since I saw a picture of him first.