Inmate Blogs

A Guiding Hand

June 2 2022

"A Guiding Hand"

Growing up I never had a mentor, in fact, no one ever questioned why I got failing grades in second and third grade.

Of all the places I would find one was in a Security Housing Unit in a State prison. There I met an infamous old gangster. In our first meeting, I was explaining my path in a rather circumlocutory manner, and the wizened old dude cut me off with a knowing smile and said "Richie, I've been a practicing Buddhist for twenty years."

I had heard that the man could read a room (or prison yard) at a glance, but I was still seriously surprised by his insight and quick mind. You see he had cut my roundabout conversation short and got where I was going for me. What I was leading up to was that I am a Buddhist and he had simply and compassionately got us to the point.

The reason that I was rather round-about is that in their ignorance of the subject, guys in prison can have a serious misconception of what it means to be a Buddhist in prison or otherwise. They assume that it is synonymous with passivity, and to the contrary, it is active. Yes, active with compassion, but that could require that you take on suffering to not place another there, or even step into physical danger to save another from it. All things that the-old dude knew were better than I.

The old guy went on to mentor me, sharing with me truths, errors, insight, and guidance that had my father been capable of granting me, I would never have the mistakes that I did. This was a man that the prison system vilified so much that they used every trick they could come up with to keep him in the Security Housing Unit in defiance of a Federal Judge’s order, yet a man that to me and others displayed every paramitas, especially patience, generosity, discipline, and insight. He taught so much by mere example. It is just that the erudite and with leadership qualities are seen by prison authorities as a threat to their tyranny and order and throw them into the deepest hole. They simply fear the power of knowledge and the pen.

Now that I have somewhat introduced you to this man, I would like to share with you the words taken from an old tather kite he sent me years ago in response to one I sent to him about a problem that I incurred due to a lapse of patience.

Here is the excerpt that I hope you might benefit from as I have.

"One of the key elements of my practice is to keep in mind what the Dharma teaches about adverse situations and people. That it's not them but how we respond to them that's important. We cannot control the actions of others and karma is karma. All we can control is our own actions and in that pay down our karmic debt by creating good karma. In the last Shambala, there was a piece by the 17th Karmapa on the paramitas. We must use them in our practice but to go too far turns them into demons. We must show compassion to the Tiger but that doesn't mean we place our head in the Tiger's mouth because he is hungry. To feed inessential insanity would be as harmful as reacting with negative energy towards it. It's finding the balance that challenges our practice because of our Western way of thinking. We tend to think in terms of the "I" or "self" where we should be concentrating on the interconnectedness of all things. The pain and suffering of others are ours, as well, and karma lies between thought and action. Their karma is theirs, ours is ours, and no one can pay down the debt of another. Remember, all of that is why it is called “practice”.

Take care Richie, and while it is not always easy being easy and no one said that there isn't a price for doing the right thing, there is no substitute for being just who we are".

That was a gift granted me by a man they kept in the Security Housing Unit for just over thirty years. Was it really wise to remove this man from the troubles without a true Elders population? Let me share one more of his missives with you that was sent to me when my hand was forced and I needed to defend myself and an angry and aggressive man got a rude awakening.

"As for your previous correspondence re: the lapse in discipline. Let me share with you a quote from the teachings of Shantideva. I have found and continue to find it helpful when Mara gets inside my defenses.

"Some do evil things because of ignorance,
Some respond with anger being ignorant.
Which of them is faultless in the act?
To whom shall error be attributed?
Rather why did I do evil in the past, that caused me to harm at other's hands?
All that happens is the fruit of karma.
Why should I be angry?

This I see and therefore, come what may,
I'll hold true to the virtuous path, and fasten in the hearts of all, an attitude of mutual love." Shantideva (8th century)

The last time I saw this man was when I walked up to his door, I was leaving the Security Housing Unit. After thanking him and saying goodbye, he gave me his last admonition saying, "Be compassionate Lad, be compassionate."

He will always be missed, but I carry him with me in such an important way. It's a shame that he wasn't allowed to mentor many more men. Most men in prison lacked a crucial mentor and could really use one.

Entombment is rehabilitation, and no one is ever taught crucial compassion, by cruelty.

 "Richard Stewart"

Aka Tharpa Rigom

Eduardo Rodriguez #BF9801

June 1 2022

What’s up everyone, as weird as it sounds, life in prison seems to be getting better…How? Well, I just got transferred from a level 3 prison that had only one vocational course and used every excuse to deny us yard time, so I was stuck in the cell hella much. Now I’m at this level 2 which has hella vocational courses, self-help groups and college, all three of these come with time off my sentence if I get passing grades and best believe that if it knocks off even just 1 day, I’m a pass! This spot also has programs all day, every day :). That means sunshine on my face and fresh air. Who doesn’t love that? One of the best things about this prison is that I got a G.T.L. tablet, that means if you download the “Getting Out” app and add me, you will pop up on my tablet and we can text message…

This place is off the hook! When I was at level 3, I gained a few pounds cuz I was stuck in the cell, my recent picture is from level 3, since I got here I already lost 10 pounds and working out hard, I’ll post more pictures soon. Hopefully you’ll download the app and you pop up on my tablet. Can’t wait to meet you.

Alpha-Male

June 1 2022

Word up son! Check it out. I feel you, but I need to keep it one hundred percent with you. You aren’t a leader. For real son, you are cool and all, but you don’t have what it takes. Look around. You see who the crowd is following and feeling. Everybody wants to follow somebody that can make sense of situations and fix problems. You aren’t it! I’m telling you what it is. Some guys are born with special genes and gifted, straight-up God! We’re talking about natural born leaders and geniuses. See? You need to sit back and learn, son! Some can be molded and turned into it, but you have a long way to go. It takes courage and a lot of will and you’re always ducking fights. You’re always talking like you’re the one, but I’ve never seen you fight. You’re always lip-boxing. What’s up with that? Plus, you’re always broke, out there acting like you’re checking paper, rocking fake jewelry! Come on, are you for real? This life isn’t for you. You’re faking. You hear whose name is ringing all around the joints in Illinois. You see who’s checking real paper. Who has all the find mamas visiting prison. Feel me? No doubt you need to learn more. For real.

Peace God

Song Dedications:

“Outta Line” By: N.O.R.E.

“Wolves” By: PR Dean

“Snakes & ladders” By: Belly

Daniel Cheairs

May 31 2022

Hello again World,

I'm wide awake at 2:00 a.m. at old club LeBlanc, so I figured I'd write out another blog before heading to the sweat shop AKA a slave labor camp AKA the dungeon or commonly known as….work. I'm probably going to be dead tired in the middle of my shift. Why do you elude me, oh sleep? I'm going to throw together some music again and add some of my favorite quotes to the end.

Popular Monster – Falling In Reverse

Lips Like Morphine – Kill Hannah

Two Weeks – All That Remains

The Crimson; Coffin Nails; Gallows; Ex and Ohs – Atreyu

A Little Piece of Heaven; Dear God; Lost; I won’t see you tonight, Pt. 2 – Avenged Sevenfold

When Angels Fall; Unknown Soldier; Far Away – Breaking Benjamin

Maybe It’s Time – 6 a.m.

Another Life – Motionless in White

Sex Metal Barbie – Unknown

I’m Not Alright – Tetrit

History of Violence – Theory of a Dead Man

Halo – Machine Head

Throes of Perdition – Charbydis and Sayillia – trivium

Dead Skin Mass – Slayer

Sayerbeast; you Only Live Once – Suicide Silence

Mein Herz Brennt – Rammstein

Happy? – Mudrayne

Forever and Always – Bullet For My Valentine

Collosus – Avatar

I Am Machine – Three Days Grace

Quotes:

“If I cannot move Heaven, I will raise Hell” – Virgil

“Rape burns hottest against a punishment deserved” – Andross Guile

“In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king” – Erasmus of Rotterdam

“I believe I am in Hell, therefore I am” – Arthur Rimbaud

“Sometimes the only way to win is to burn it all down” – Unknown

“Braking up day cards – for when you just don’t give a damn anymore!”

Enjoy!

Eli