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February 13 2022
LOOK NO FURTHER....YOUR SEARCH ENDS HERE. I AM HIM!!
Someone once said that a stranger is just a friend that you haven't met yet. I believe this is true, do you? I also believe that true friendships should be built on honesty, respect, appreciation, sincerity, attention and trust. That's what I'm offering you.
Since I believe in honesty up front feel free to ask any questions you may have.. No topic is taboo. I really hope we can connect and become great friends.
I understand that nothing in life is guaranteed, but should you consider my invitation, here's what I promise to be for you:
Someone you can come to for comfort...a heart that understands and doesn't judge...a listening ear...your personal motivator and man cheerleader:)...a supporting shoulder to cry on...someone you can laugh & joke with...someone who want to hear all about your day..someone who appreciates all the unique qualities that GOD placed in a woman.
If I sound like the type of friend you are interested in.....I would love to hear from you.
If Only We Could Imagine
February 11 2022
If you’re reading this, and you feel it, hopefully you’ll reach out to me.
We’ve accepted the past for the past, and look forward to a better future, yet we’re always questioning the meaning of the present. Does every obstacle come with a lesson, or are we destined to fail every time we’re met with a great struggle?
As days go by we only become stronger. Our strength comes from the struggles to overcome obstacles that have landed in our path. These obstacles are physical and mental. A vital lesson learned is that it takes a strong mentality to overcome the physical obstacles in our path. To think otherwise is the folly of ignorance.
We always dream of a better tomorrow, yet we’re content with the same routines. Even as we find ourselves ready to battle the next obstacle, we find ourselves overwhelmingly deprived of psychological stimulation. And even though we’re content with ourselves today, we steadily seek a higher vibration more in tune with our radiance. A glory more bright than the sun!
Yet, in this dense reality, we’re surrounded by base mentalities ever ready to condemn, judge and criticize us for utilizing our greatest weapon of all… Our imagination. The world we imagine isn’t like this one. It’s better! More serene. No hatred or war. Just peace.
We’re always seeking someone who understands, yet whose imagination has already seen where we all desire to be.
Imagine that! Does anyone else feel like me?
February 11 2022
I wonder why it’s crazy to say you love someone so soon. Living in this numb realm ‘you can’t be in long’ or course you can. What do I lose? If I am full of infinite love, why is loving someone so wrong? The fear of losing love is so strong it blocks us being loved in the first place. As I cry and write, I don’t even consider my tears a loss. I’d rather have my face drowning in salty tears than feeling nothing at all. That’s why we live, to experience it all. To feel what some fear. After all the pain of heartbreak is addicting. Call me crazy but I rather love and find heartbreaks than feel nothing at all. Without heartbreaks life would be lifeless. How else would you know if your heart works if it never breaks?
I spent my whole life dealing with pain, displeasure and heartaches. I adjusted to each accordingly. I received your broken heart, I didn’t want to sew it up, staple it together or melt it back to its original form. I adjusted to your broken heart. Hearts heal on their own when they aren’t rushed.
Let Shawn be the one to fix your heart.
Mike Seaney #84088
February 10 2022
Well on December 2nd I was accepted into the canine program here at Colorado Territorial Correctional Facility. I have been in for about a month now and love the program.
My first dog’s name is Luke, he’s 2 ½ years old and they say he is Shepherd/Pit mix. I can say he is very smart and learns fast. He is from the shelter and I hope someone adopts him for he is a great dog. He already knows sit, down, come, stay, heel, plus some tricks. He has learned hello, bang, high-five and we’re working on wave.
I am working on some court stuff and I am hoping that there can be a chance that I get out of here in 2022. Things are looking up for me and after doing almost 14 years straight, I can use some freedom in my life.
Besides that I’m just about bettering myself, being more humble and kind. In the past I only cared about myself but today I try and care for everyone, no matter who they are or what their past looked like.
I have a weird sense of humor and most people can’t understand it, but I mean well. I try to be respectful and not hurt people’s feelings, sometimes I don’t know that I do it. Have a great day.
February 9 2022
I’m hoping that the New Year brings me new positive energy, success, and new friends. After all, what is life but a fleeting moment? We should take advantage of every new positive opportunity and a chance to grow.
I graduated last year; I now have a Liberal Arts Degree. My next adventure is to pursue a Bachelor’s Degree in Civic Studies. The Tufts University prison initiative college program has helped me to grow. I see life from a whole new lens. I can now see myself as a productive member of my community. When I get released, my plan is to give back with my time and sharing my experience.
I am grateful with this opportunity to share my strengths and hope with you.
I thank you for reading my profile.
How I Maintain My Recovery
February 7 2022
How I maintain my recovery
I maintain my recovery through empathy, compassion, and community. My recovery didn’t truly start until I was able to remove myself from gang life.
When I look back, I can see that my journey of recovery was not solitary but one of community. Free staff giving the opportunities I needed to change, as well as the facilitators who took the time to sit with me giving me invaluable insight into recovery and its process. Without these people and their kindness in my life, my recovery couldn’t be possible. Having people believe in my change allowed me to believe in myself, giving me the confidence to enroll in college and earn two degrees.
The understanding of my recovery boils down to four main points;
Honesty, being honest with myself about my situation both past and present.
Open minded, being open to the possibility of change in my life.
Willingness to do what is necessary, once I was able to be honest with myself it was much easier to be honest with others. This honestly opened my mind to the necessity of change, not only was it possible, it became desirable and I became a willing participant in my change.
Fellowship, this has helped me to ask for help from others, which is not easy because it requires opening up, being vulnerable and that is scary. But it has helped me build bonds of trust, empathy and compassion that has empowered me to connect to others on a human level.
I know that addiction is a disease of isolation and disconnection. Because at one time I was an addict, a criminal, and gang member but it was only when people connected to me that I felt safe enough to connect to myself. This in turn connected me to all of humanity and transformed my life.
My greatest mistake
February 3 2022
The greatest mistake I've ever made cost me 26 years of my life. However, I am not that mistake. What I am is just like everyone else. I am human, and I come with emotions and flaws.
Being incarcerated is stressful, lonely, and painful, but not for the reasons most people would think. For me, It's not the institution that hurts the most, but my own thoughts. The thought of my son growing up without me, the thought of a lover being with someone else, the thought of knowing that your never gonna see some of your family members again because they're not gonna be alive long enough to see the day you are finally free.
The institution incarcerates our bodies, but it's our own minds that make doing the time so unbearable. My first 5 years were the hardest because I didn't have anything to ease my thoughts. Some people write, some choose weightlifting, and others do whatever it is that they can to make it through the day. I myself chose art.
The moment I picked up a paintbrush it shut off my mind and that feeling of pain, stress, and loneliness subsided dramatically. My art gives me light in a place that is designed to keep our minds in darkness. So I use art, and the talent that God has given me to give back. I am not my greatest mistake. I am a man who stepped a foot on the path of destruction, only to find my true path to creation. I am not my greatest mistake.
What is Freedom and What Does It Mean to You?
February 2 2022
I recently obtained a copy of a newsletter called, “Coalition of Justice” (Dated Summer 2018) from the Pod Library cart. I took it back to my cell and began reading it once the cellblock became quiet. I was instantly drawn to the writers as they shared their experiences from within the walls of various prisons. It was if I was being drawn to the magnetic quality of each man’s writings on the deepest level.
The particular newsletter I had obtained noted that the topic of the next edition would be, “What Is Freedom and What Does It Mean To You?” With that title fresh in the chambers of my mind's eye, I turned out the lights and began to travel through the dimensions of myself. See, I know this topic well because FREEDOM is a word I’ve grown very familiar with over the last 12 years that I’ve been incarcerated. I’ve envisioned having access to it consistently every day as my goal for the last 12 years, 20 days, 5 hours to the date of the writing.
The dictionary defines freedom as: exemption or liberation from the control of some arbitrary power. I define freedom that way in a physical sense, but the element of freedom transcends the physical form for me. I say this because a person can be physically free, but be in a state of mental bondage due to the lack of knowledge of one’s self. While many don’t realize it, both have toxic effects though they may manifest in different ways. I find it interesting that a person can lose their physical freedom but gain mental freedom in the form of self-awareness.
One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned from my incarceration is that a man only learns what he teaches himself. It took me years of experimenting in the laboratory of life to discover that freedom is a jewel that comes in degrees. Once a person obtains the proper knowledge of self, they are then equipped to free the domes of others by taking them through the same steps of enlightenment, which is what civilized people do once they truly understand what freedom is. This is how I learned the value of this jewel. I also realize that in order to reap the full benefits of it, I must give it away.
It’s sad that it took incarceration in order for me to be born again mentally. Yes, it’s too bad that it took me so long to finally get it, but better late than never! Proper Education Always Corrects Errors! (PEACE)
Questions: please post your comments 1. What is freedom to you? 2. What are some difficulties you’ve encountered during the pandemic? How did you overcome them? 3. Have you changed or grown in ways that you are pleased with as a result of your struggles? 4. What advice would you offer someone else that may be going through what you went through?
January 31 2022
I was sitting down enjoying my Thanksgiving tray provided by the state (almost as good as Momma’s). Mom, if you’re reading this I’m just kidding! And it brought me back to when I was young, and everyone went around the table expressing what they’re thankful for. So, I figured if you all don’t mind I’m going to share a little about what I’m grateful for.
Although I’ve got so many reasons to be miserable (most of them are a result of my own doing, unfortunately) and I could sit here and tell you all about them, but if you know me then you know I won’t.
You see, unlike most people I’m thankful for my incarceration. Yes, you read that right, I’m grateful to have been incarcerated for so long. Albeit I’d love to be home right now more than anything, but I honestly know that when I was arrested it was the absolute best thing that could’ve happened to me. I came into my incarceration as someone that belonged here. I was not only a harm to my community but also to myself. To my soul! To my mind! To my physical being! It was when I realized that I was a better person, due to my incarceration, that I was able to accept this for what it is. A blessing!
This place, this horrible place, saved me. Be it physically, mentally, emotionally, or even spiritually, I’m a better man today than I could have ever been without experiencing everything I have over the last 12 years (and counting). So, yes, I’m thankful to have experienced what I have that has molded me into the man that I am today.
January 18 2022
A new year, some new resolutions. Digging through some things I discovered written copies of several years consisting of broken promises. Shoot for the stars on the eve of a new beginning only to fall behind in a flurry of dramatic events transpiring around me.
Will this year amount to similar circumstances or will I follow the standard of exceptional behavior? Within an hour of the drop, I wrote down a few characteristics to follow in an effort to improve myself and the quality of my life. Is a resolution similar to a birthday wish or a shooting star in that I’d void the outcome upon mentioning my goals? All I know for sure is that I am determined to prove my ability to strive towards perfection and become a refined version of myself.
Nothing in life worth having is easy. I intend to rise above it all and allow nothing to impede the route to success. In an environment like this, every day is challenging in a way you may never expect. It’s full time to remain sucker free in a land full of lollipops. (Smile)
Where do you stand in the limitless path of accomplishment for the new year? Do you jot down your wishes only to discover a veil of complacency dropping at the end of the year as opposed to the ball in Times Square? Do you serve a purpose or purposely serve? I am open to discussion as well as a team effort to win.