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Navy Combat Veteran
Writing is saying to no one and to everyone the things it is not possible to say to someone. ~~Rebecca Solnit ~~ The Faraway Nearby
It’s 03:11 and I’m lying in bed shaking. I haven’t felt like this in almost a good six months. I’m scared. Apparently the guards are letting people out to go eat breakfast and someone isn’t happy that they failed to get out of a quick enough. Like a toddler, they proceed into tantrum mode start kicking the door. I’m beyond startled. It’s as if a demon has snatched me from a peaceful dream. The kicking and banging reminds me of the incoming mortars. It takes me a second to realize where I am, but the terror has already taken to me.
I want to try. I want to scream. I want to run and hide. However, reality minds me that I can’t because I’m in a prison cell. Instead I roll over to face a window in search of my solace. I feel ashamed and embarrassed. How is it that this is happening to me? What did I do to deserve this?
Bad thoughts creep into my mind because I want to figure out how to end it all and be at peace. Have you ever woken up to a nightmare because of a nightmare? It’s confusing and painful. Sometimes the sadness is overwhelming. Now I have to get ready for work, face the world. But will my secret reveal itself? Or can I make it through the day to face my demon again?
Navy Combat Veteran
Hi nice to meet you, I hope the feeling is mutual. Before we embark, i have 2 questions; is honesty and loyalty at the top of your list? You're seeking characteristically in your pen pal? Are you sincere in your quest for a surreal throw caution, to the wind type of friendship? If so look no further, and let our journey together begin. I am passionate about all types of literature, art, music, and poetry, in that order. I also enjoy movie nights( and what obviously coincides with it cuddling), (don't judge me just yet). Some of my favorite activities are(but are not limited to), fishing, camping, going to the beach, star gazing, reading, going to events especially insomniacs events, as well as making life long friends, care to be one? I hope so, I am a good listener, extremely spontaneous, a free thinker, my gravity is centered as i am a Libra. Intense, but sensitive, I am very adventurous, creativity and ambition, course through my veins.I must confess, I am a hopeless romantic. Can't help but smile every time I cross paths with an elderly couple, who so effortlessly maintain that flame. I am down to earth respectful, empathic by nature, shy but confident. I only have 2 years and some change, and refuse to come back. I am ready to give my loved ones the undivided attention they deserve, and leave this life in the past, care to be my future? Give me a chance and I promise you that you will not regret it. The decision is all yours, the door is open, I'll be expecting you.
I Just Need Friends
I came to jail as a 19 year old teenager yet mentally I was still a toddler. I was in the streets all day and night and I was constantly drunk and high off marijuana and ecstasy pills. I was selling drugs and stayed sleeping with different women, the crazy part is I was doing it all to fit in, it really wasn’t about that life. I was the 8 hour job type who always stayed in a relationship but the streets turn me into another person.
I can honestly say my case was a mistake due to drugs and I’m never coming back to prison. Being young and scared without a lawyer I listened to a public defender and took a plea deal for 15 years. I was told my charges would be at 50% so I thought I would only do 7 years and six months and be home by age 26 but turns out the plea was at 85% and I come home at age 32 in 2020. Basically my life was taken because I didn’t know the law.
I’ve currently wrote two urban novels called “My Hometown Chicago” 1 and 2 and I am currently trying to start a self-help magazine called “Signed Life”.
I had a big win in the Texas Court of Criminal Appeals this past month. On June 27th, 2018 the CCA reversed and set aside 5 of my friends convictions in which he had 3 life sentences without parole and another 720 years. The appeal I did for him took over 4 years. Astonishingly since the courts took so long he has a lot going for him. Back in 2015 a constable in Harris County was in charge of organizing the evidence room and he mistakenly threw away evidence in old cases. His was included. I expect the Harris County D.A's office to come at him with a good plea deal or there is a good chance he will be acquitted as his case is over 10 years old.
Another case I hope gets decided soon is for an appeal I did out of Texarkana. My friend asserted at trial and for 8 years another person committed his crime. The D.A. denied knowledge of having information about someone else being accused. Well low and behold we were able to get a hold of a police report where the police had another suspect but dismissed their charge because my fiend had been arrested. I filed a writ for him in 2016 on prosecutorial misconduct and the court appointed him an attorney. Hopefully they will reverse his case within this year.
I really enjoy helping people with their appeals in here.
Blog update~~ Well, I have some news considering my dear Lab Annie. I have recently been promoted to primary dog trainer and this has brought some changes to my status on my team Annie L Because a team consists of a primary trainer, a secondary trainer and a puppy parent. I am now no longer on Team Annie as a secondary handler. I will still be involved in her preparation, but not as much and not formally. On the bright side J I have been entrusted by NLKA with a fully sponsored 11 week old Golden Retriever puppy named Dazzle. She will be with me for the next two years as we begin our journey together. As her primary trainer I will solely be responsible for her upbringing and education. Dazzle so far has been a complete joy and at the same time a lot of work. I look forward to the days ahead and know she will serve a Veteran one day immensely. All the love and work I pour into her will provide much needed support to a wounded warrior and that makes it worth all of it. In the meantime, I wake up every morning to a bright smile and little Dazzle rolling on her back waiting for her morning belly rub J
On other news, I have finished my current classwork at Ohio University and now begin the following classes pending approval: Exploring Musical Styles, Human Geography, the Theatrical Experience, Politics in the USA, Principles of Microeconomics, Rise of Modern Asia, Critical Analysis of Fiction/Non-Fiction and finally another Calculus class. Wish me luck. I have included with this update a black and white pic of me and Dazzle. I will send a color photo as soon as I get one.
Jeremy Jackson #01265652
My Reflection: Emotional Bondage Part 1
Behind these prison walls where I mourn and lament
These are not walls of brick or cement
No, this is a prison of emotional bondage
Where hate and pain pay homage
Where loneliness and fear discourage fight
And shadows of darkness suppress light
When you look in the mirror he’s always there
With loads of despair – burden to bare
You build yourself as strong as a levee
But this weight is always one pound too heavy
Deep into the soul of hopelessness – gloom so utterly latent
Hiding in the crevice of the heart – your spirits own patent
The onslaught, turmoil hinder your future to see
Opaque and murky blinded by misery
Mirages of freedom veiled by curtains of doom
On the cusp of your grasp never to be consumed
A ripple on the water conceals his detection
The face of the placid sea reveal my reflection
Some guys feel the need to be macho, while entertaining prideful ways. I’m too humble and down to earth for that. Besides, I’m 46 years old now, why should I keep acting like I’m fine?
Friends come and go but only the righteous remain and it’s only a very few when troubles begin. A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out. The only way to have a friend is to be one…
When one’s expectations are reduced to zero, one really appreciates everything one does have, the world would be a better place if everyone tried being a lil more open minded and nonjudgmental more often. We all have flaws and our own burdens, what counts is how you carry it.
Anyhow, I’m hoping to relate to someone, meet genuine people to help me establish positive contact to the outside and bring positivity into each other’s lives. Socializing and sharing experiences helps everyone. I hope to hear yours. You can email me directly through jpay.com mobile App.
As funny as it sounds I’m now seriously taking applications for new girl. I feel I’m ready to move on & start communicating & dating again. I’m really trying to commit myself to one woman I feel is special and I can really connect with. I’m 27, single, no kids & when I’m released within two years I can bring a lot to the table. I’m educated, ambitious, loyal and loving. So basically when I do find what I’m looking for I have nothing holding me back from putting my all into it. I want someone smart, beautiful, loyal and fun. Also someone with a beautiful heart. Sex is everywhere and I prefer a mental connection first. I have around 20 months to really get to know someone before I’m released. That should be enough time to correspond, laugh, talk & maybe even visit if it gets to that level. So if you feel that’s you that can make this black guy happy, then hit me up. Lol Write me & I promise to get back to you & send a picture, so I can make sure you don’t have an Adams apple. Lol I don’t think I can receive emails so if you’re serious write me at the address provided on this profile.
Well, world, it’s definitely me again! And while everyone, both behind these walls and beyond them can find something to complain about if they are only looking for the negative, I’d just like to send a shout out to express my appreciation for the attention and the couple of responses I’ve received. I have found that some people are just sort of scratching an itch, fleeting whim, or satisfying temporary curiosity and that’s fine. I am hoping to make more long-lasting friendships, but even to those I just described, I’d like to say thank you for taking my mind and soul above and beyond this artificial gangster mentality and the emptiness I’m surrounded by and enslaves so many spirits in here.
As many people move into and out of our lives, I could always enjoy getting to know someone new, especially from places or different experiences than those I’m familiar with or accustomed to! I mentioned a feminine perspective in my profile, and I’d just like to make a note to all you ladies out there. “In the current climate” (as is so often stated during these tumultuous cultural times) I want you all to know how powerful you really are. I see with my own eyes and own experience the strength of your influence and balancing effect on both individuals and our society. We, as men, need you. You soothe our spirit by your very presence. So from all of us: Thank you.