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April 23 2020
Decisions!! For as long as I have been in this crapper I really haven't sat down and thought about what I want to do once I get out for a living, but ever since I have gotten into single digits, it's been on my mind a lot more. I really did like the fact that all I thought about was what I was gonna eat once I got out. That is simple. I want to spend about 3 hours at IHOP eating pancakes, eggs, bacon, and hopefully they have good coffee, well I do not know because I have never been to IHOP - so hopefully they do. :>) And later that day, I need to go to Dairy Queen and get me an ice cream cake. I have been dreaming of that for so long that its’ crazy. I hear the saying goes, do what you love and you will never work a day in your life. There are two things I love to do. I really enjoy baking desserts. I learned it at the Penitentiary and I absolutely loved it. It's watching someone smile and say “That is so good.” What a great feeling one can get from that. The other thing I thought about was actually brought to my attention by a comrade. I have always said how bad I want to be able to get me another Rottweiler dog once I get out and I'm in a good position to do so. So, one day while out on the big yard walking laps, my comrade mentioned why not opening up a dog walking business or getting a dog kennel for rescue dogs or breeding Rottweiler dogs for house pets. I really do like this idea a lot, and my love for dogs is off the hook. I grew up having dogs when I was just a pup myself and it sucks being in this crapper and not having a dog at your side. So, these decisions are really at the forefront of my mind and have been like a bad wedge.
April 20 2020
I'm a good guy hoping to find a good friend. I would like to share my thoughts and dreams with. A person that has positive energy and believes anything is possible. I don't give my loyalty and respect to just anyone, but whenever I do, they have it for life. My hopes, dreams, goals, aspiration's, and talents all run very deep. I really hope to meet someone who’s sense of humor is as amazing as mine because laughter that is shared is the greatest form of communication. I have a huge heart, an open mind and I am very supportive of those I care about. I never judge others although I hold myself to a high standard, but that is only because I believe through my successes will I be able to ensure that those close to me receive all of the blessings they deserve.
It's also true that although I've been incarcerated for more than eight years, I still keep a positive attitude and see the best in people. I believe that anyone who reads this has a good heart and isn't afraid to search for a diamond in the rough. If that is true, I'm happy to say that you’ve found love. Given my situation, I could use a little TLC but isn't that true with all precious gems? I'm worth it, just as I'm sure that you are as well. If interested, you may reach me at www.jpay.com.
April 20 2020
“Know Your Worth”
Do you struggle picking up the pieces from a previous relationship? That's because you don't want to make the same mistakes. It's natural! Do you have to? No! Before you commit to another relationship, “Know Your Worth!”
Think about what your mate brings to the table, how that person can contribute to your happiness. Usually, we just jump out on faith. Ask questions. Be honest about your interests. NEVER, be who somebody else wants you to be. If they can't accept you for who you are, then they're toxic.
My life has always been about, “What moves my journey forward?” If someone causes me to take some steps backwards, I let go. Anything that's not POSITIVE is dangerous to your health. Most relationships end because people don't know their worth. So they settle for, less. You can't be SUCCESSFUL like that.
To be SUCCESSFUL, find out what you like and don't like, what you will and won't accept, and follow your dreams. You can do whatever you put your mind to. You have a choice. Find someone who brings COMFORT and PEACE to your life. You deserve the BEST!
Women, there are GREAT men out there, and I'm one of them. We're just afraid of the ones you use their past against us. Do you use your past and compare it to your mate? Reach out to me, I'd love to know your answer. Don't miss out on your blessing living in the past. GROW TOGETHER!
April 19 2020
While we keep America Great Again,
Many are trying to impeach my soul to detach my spirit,
As I look in the mirror like ‘Wow’
Look how far you’ve come! Still so far to go in time,
Adrenaline Russian, so much difference and change in my eyes,
From Europe to Hong Kong nothing new under the sun,
Yet remains revolution, the best is yet to come!
April 19 2020
Okay, so I’m 29 now and I finally feel like I get it. I feel like I am going to succeed when released.
It’s been a rough time, but it was all worth it. The experience I’ve gained while struggling is priceless. I wouldn’t change anything. Hardships have made me who I am, and who I am is as smart, strong, disciplined, caring and loyal young man. All of these are traits I’ve gained while going through life’s struggles.
I look at how far I’ve come and I can say I am proud of myself. Something that I was lacking previously was self-worth, which is something that isn’t as much of an issue these days. I am grateful to be alive and have this opportunity to write this blog, as it could have been very different.
If I can help motivate others I am content, whatever I can do to make the world a better place, I will do. Especially for those who battle demons daily. If nobody feels for you, I do. I promise that I could wait until I am free and I can fully put my newly acquired life skills to the test.
I am a competitive person by nature, so I like being an underdog. I like the bounce back, it gives me something to do. I truly feel nothing like I’ve done or been through has been in vain. It’s all adding up to create a finely sharpened tool. I am ready.
Nicole Bradley #W-82508
April 12 2020
There are so many things I need help with that I can't do on my own in here. There are several things I worry about as well. For one, I worry about certain people in my life giving up on me. And I need to get home so I can help someone who's fallen on hard times. I can't help them from in here, though. If I was home, I can imagine myself in a nice coding job and being able to financially help my loved ones. Does anyone know any coders in southern California who would be willing to hire me upon release? Having a job offer will show the Board I'll be financial stable.
I also want to start a charity for kids from broken homes. I have also been trying to work on my rehabilitation. If there are any courses I can do through the mail for self-esteem, anger management, victim impact, insight, criminal thinking, etc... then maybe someone can help enroll me in these courses? And if any anger management groups, or therapists and counselors would be willing to write when I need to talk, that would help greatly.
I want to be a better person, and if anyone is willing to help aid in my self-improvement, I'd appreciate it. I'll take any advice or suggestions you can offer.
Ernesto Gonzalez Jr #M49155
April 8 2020
Best wishes to you and your loved ones, especially during this time of crisis. I understand email may be easier than sending letters at the moment. Fortunately, I now have video visits and email service available.
You can message me directly through www.connectnetwork.com. Not that there’s anything wrong with snail mail if you still prefer that.
Well, I hope to hear from you soon. Maybe we can find some light in these dark times.
April 8 2020
If you ask most incarcerated men and women they'll tell you that one of their main prayers is to be released early. I recently read an article from Pentecostal Evangel titled "Out Of Suffering" by Randy Hurst, which really resonated with my spirit. This is what it spoke about, in part:
"Many of our suffering brothers and sisters around the world are not asking us to pray for their immediate deliverance. Some even say, 'Don't pray for our release from persecution. Pray that God will give us strength and an open door to witness for Christ. Pray that God will enable us to lead other prisoners to Jesus.'"
How many of us can ask this? How quickly we pray for God to get us out of trials which causes us pain or great distress. Do we ever stop and ask what He desires to accomplish in or through us during those times of affliction? Even Jesus, "Though He was a Son, He learned obedience by the things which He suffered" (Hebrews 5:8). This is also why we may understand when the apostle Paul says, "...For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory" (2 Corinthians 4:17). Be encouraged knowing God has a plan and purpose for you life despite your circumstances. Don't focus on the here and now, but instead on His eternal promise.
Allow Him to use you where you are because you'll be blessed in the end.