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I wake up in the middle of the night tormented by my fears of the future and regrets of my past. Although I know the Lord is with me, I still feel so lost and alone. I know that my sins have been forgiven, but the remorse is still unbearable, because I can't find forgiveness for myself.
I think back at who I was who I used to be and I'm ashamed of my selfish greed and arrogance. I sold drugs and I have no excuse. I helped destroy my community and left my children without a father. I no longer seek my validity in others' opinions, but I wish my community could accept me for who I've become and not expect me to be who I used to be.
At this point in my life, I feel so empty inside because I yearn for my other half, but she doesn't seem to exist. I've been let down and disappointed many times, but I refuse to allow the next to suffer for their mistakes and desperation. I can't say that I have trust issues, because I've come to learn that when you're living a shady life, you attract shady people.
I look into the mirror and I don't recognize the man looking back at me, but I'm proud of who I see. The scars, the slight wrinkles, and gray hairs sneaking up on me reminds me that the clock only turns in one direction and as that clock marches forward, so must I. I'm a soldier, but I no longer march to the beat of the streets. I am a soldier a love, a soldier of righteousness, a soldier of Christ. By his strips, I have been redeemed. Only God can judge me, and through Christ I've been found not guilty!
Justice System Reform
Every week, somewhere in this great country of ours, an innocent man or woman is being sent to prison for a crime they didn't commit. This is a fact! A prosecutor is selling his one-sided story to a grand jury in order to obtain an indictment. The accused doesn't get to be present during these secret grand jury meetings. The accused is not allowed to have legal representation arguing on his behalf during these secret grand jury meetings. So already the accused is at a disadvantage. Does that sound fair?
Nowadays the prosecutor's main focus is not to see justice served but to convict whoever is sitting at the defendant's table. Tell me I'm lying! For Instance, let's say you have some money invested in a company through the Stock exchange. Let's say you have a family member or a friend that works in this company. Let's say this person tells you that the companies CEO told them to liquidate any shares they own because the company is going to s***. Do you know that if you listen to your family member or friend and pull your money out, that is considered insider trading and you can be prosecuted for that? Crazy right? Like your supposed to leave your money in the company and lose your investment.
I say all that to say this: Never judge a book by its cover. Everyone in prison isn't a criminal. The real criminals are the world bankers and the politicians but I'll save that for next time.
Until next time, peace and love.
What Do You Think?
There is no doubt that my freedom is preferred over incarceration! We are limited in here. When to sleep, when and what to eat, how often we can see our family and many other inconveniences. So when I call home and friends tell me how fortunate I am, it leaves me terribly confused. So my question is, just how bad has the world gotten? I stay in tune with the current events.
How did prisons become safer than schools and Walmarts?! I watch the news and see the mass shootings, wild fires,storms and hurricanes, the protests in China and the Democrats and Republicans tear each other apart. The country is certainly divided. So when does it all end? How does it all end?
Is climate change real? I have heard different theories but no way of being able to do the research for myself. I'm interested in what everyone thinks, whether you have a biblical perspective or a basic scientific point of view. I honestly have no clue! All I do know is something has to give. Share your thoughts and any readings or book recommendations are welcomed too.
William is seeking supporters
William has recently filed for clemency from the governor of Colorado and is looking for people willing to support him by signing his petition.
Check it out on Change.org clemency William Goble.
(Written by Family Member/Friend.)
Lonely, Neglected and Forgotten
If you feel lonely, neglected or forgotten then we can relate. Sometimes I just need someone to listen, that's all. I'm not asking for too much. Feeling so much loneliness at times that it's overwhelming, facing trials without uplifting or encouraging words, is an impossible task. To be forgotten on Christmas, New Year's Day or your birthday is the worst feeling ever. Sometimes your own family can let you down, a true friend will be there for you. If we would just care more about others in the world, then the loneliness and suicides would decrease. I just want a chance to feel human again. A simple JPAY can make me smile for the whole week. Feeling that someone cared enough to empathize with my situation really makes me feel hope. I felt so lonely sometimes that I thought I had vanished into thin air. Felt like nobody cared not even a little bit. How can I feel hope or even smile when I'm alone?
If all you feel is stress then let me tell you, I feel that every day. Vent to me all your problems or your worries, I know what you are going through. Give me a chance to believe again in myself, because to be honest I feel I don't anymore. Depression and sadness intoxicate my heart, mind and soul.
Zachary Bynum III
It has been a daunting task producing a full-length novel from prison. In the North Carolina prison system, inmates don't have access to the internet, word processing, typewriters, or even copiers. I had to use the slow and expensive process of having multiple drafts done by outside typing and copying services.
When I first began writing, the prison authorities often discourage inmates from writing to publish. Some even had their manuscripts destroyed. Thankfully, a recent court settlement caused the North Carolina prisons to adopt rules that allow inmates to write and publish, so long as people outside of the prison handle the business and financial part.
The creative process of writing a novel was also challenging. I chose "classic" fantasy as a genre for several reasons. I have always loved reading fantasy. Because I did not have access to the Internet or any other way to research material for a book, fantasy was the perfect genre. All I needed was my own imagination.
It was also a struggle learning how to tell a story in an interesting way, instead of the lengthy and wordy style I used practicing law for over 25 years. Writing fantasy did have great benefits. Creating a world with fantastic creatures, races, and societies was often so engaging that it would let me escape from prison for a few hours, at least in my mind. It has been quite a literary journey.
Now I have a finished, professionally typed, self-edited, and copyrighted manuscript ready for professional editing and publication.
Would you voluntarily allow a 17 year old child to make a decision for you that will have a profoundly negative effect on your life over the next 20 or more years? So, why tolerate them making such a decision for themselves?
A person younger than 18 cannot receive a sentence of death or life without parole. This declaration, by the US Supreme Court, was primarily made due to scientific evidence showing that human brains don't fully develop the abilities needed to make considerate, rational, and well-informed decisions until at least age 26. Laws involving adult privileges are in accord with these findings, because they exclude those under 18 from voting, renting cars, and/or apartments, or going out for drinks.
The only place where 17 year old children are automatically classified as "adults" is a criminal prosecution in the States of Texas, Georgia, and Wisconsin. Additionally, court certified children, as young as 14, can be sentenced to serve a minimum of 40 calendar years, just to become parole eligible in Texas.
Over the last few years, many States have passed "Raised the Age" laws, raising the age of juvenile court jurisdiction to age 18. During the last two Texas legislative sessions, in 2017 and 2019, the "Second Look" bill has been introduced, but not voted on. It calls for parole reform that will grant offenders convicted of crimes committed before they were 18, the opportunity for parole eligibility, once a maximum of 20 calendar years is served. Not parole guaranteed, but at least the chance to prove they have changed and are worthy of being free again. Twenty years is more than enough time for a person to grow into someone better.
With the help of diligent, understanding, and sympathetic people like you, we can get Texas to pass one, if not both of these bills, during the next legislative session, in 2021. We can also get similar laws passed in Georgia and Wisconsin. Show your support by promoting the bills on social media (#Tex2ndLook2021 or #RaiseTheAgeTexas), or by contacting Texas Congress members as well as newspapers/shows, Podcast, and helpful celebrities, (Oprah? Charles Koch?). We need all of the help we can get. Help push Texas, Georgia, and Wisconsin to pass bills that will help correct the injustices of these antiquated laws.
Thanks for the help. It is greatly appreciated.
No man is a real man except there be an interaction with a woman.
It is impossible for any man to fully bring out his inner potential unless he interacts with a woman. There are things that only a woman can elicit from a man. She and all that she embodies allows a man to think differently, to move differently, and to engage in acts that will cause him to produce great things. Her ability to motivate him is second to none. She can do all of this with conscious effort at all on her behalf. Just by being herself is enough. Her soothing voice and her gentle touch. The energy that she emits has the transforming power to do this.
In this sense, no man can equal a woman. Men desire to grow. And we do, but there is room for so much more improvement and it is the interaction with a woman that can help facilitate this growth and sense of awareness. Just as this is true for a man, it is equally true for a woman. We both need one another to bring out the best in each other. No man can do for a man what a woman can. And no woman can do for a woman while a man can. None of this can happen without real and meaningful interaction. Just the mere thought of you will bring this out of any man.
Thank you for taking time to read my profile. I love meeting new people and learning new things. So your age, race, religion, lifestyle, none is a problem. I even like women in uniform (smile).
I'm in great shape. Trust me, I could make even the youngest tap out (smile). You could tell me anything. I won't ever judge you and everyone needs someone outside your circle who will listen and care.
If you wrote me before through www.JPay.com and I never responded, it was because you never sent me your address and phone number on the letter you sent me. JPay will not give us your private information, so please write back and send me your address and phone number. Everyone else, please do the same when you write me. Send me your address and phone number, and pictures would be nice (smile).
I speak Spanish and would love to learn a new language if you teach me (smile). I love to have fun and enjoy life, especially with someone special by my side. Like I said, you could be rich, poor, be a doctor, actress, lawyer, ect… You could be anything. You will be surprised how good we could get along and learn from each other.
Everyone needs to try something new, if not, life would be boring. I also know how to keep your secrets, so please do not be shy and write me.
Love is a contraband in hell. Cause love is an acid that eats away bars. But you, me, and tomorrow hold hands and make vows that struggle will multiply. My wings are my hope. The wall is the hacksaw, it has two blades. Everything you love is from a different world. I fly high, I am pregnant with freedom, then struck down. The shotgun has two barrels.
Now my wings are broken in half. After every dark night, the Sun will shine after bringing hope my wings will grow and spread out and fly again. We are pregnant with freedom. We are a conspiracy!
Everything you love is from a different world. Love is a contraband in hell. Cause love is an acid that eats away bars. But you, me, and tomorrow hold hands and make vows that struggle will multiply. My wings are my hope. The wall is the hacksaw, it has two blades. Everything you love is from a different world, pregnant with freedom, you fixed my broken wings.