December 3, 2023
Let me share some of the secrets of true intimacy and the essential purpose of relationships with you. Even if you never contact me, you will be able to affect change in your current relationships and find true happiness in life. Relationships are formed between people to support each other in becoming the very best versions of ourselves possible every day and in every given moment. For a relationship to thrive, we must attain true intimacy. This has little to do with sex. Intimacy is the one thing we cannot live without and be truly happy. Think about it, who are the happiest people you know? The people who are truly thriving? Do they just have sex, or do they have intimacy? They might have sex, of course, but the foundation of their lives is an authentic experience of intimacy. They have people they can share their lives with. They have a genuine interest in the people around them. They have great relationships! We yearn, above all else, for intimacy. We desire happiness, and sometimes we confuse this desire for happiness with a desire for pleasure or possessions. But once we have experienced the pleasure or attained the possessions, we are still left wanting. Wanting what? Intimacy! Our desire for happiness is ultimately a desire for intimacy. If we have intimacy, we can go without an awful lot and still be happy. Without intimacy, all the riches of the world cannot satisfy our hungry hearts. Until we experience intimacy, our hearts remain restless, irritable, and discontented. Life is a self-revelation, it's about revealing yourself. Every day, in a thousand ways, we reveal ourselves to the people around us and to the world. Everything we say and do reveals something about who we are. Even the things we don't say and the things we don't do tell others something about us. Life is about sharing ourselves with humanity at this moment in history. Share yourself with me and allow me to share myself with you. Relationships are also a process of self-revelation, though far too often we spend our time and energy hiding our true selves from each other in relationships. Being intimate means sharing the secrets of our hearts, minds, and souls with another fragile and imperfect human being. It requires that we allow another person to discover what moves us, what inspires us, what drives us, what eats at us, what we are running towards, what we are running from, what silent self-destructive enemies lie within us, and what wild and wonderful dreams we hold in our hearts. To be truly intimate with another person is to share every aspect of yourself with that person. This is the greatest gift we can give to another human being: to allow him or her to simply see us for who we are, with our strengths and weaknesses, faults, failings, flaws, defects, talents, abilities, achievements, and potential. Intimacy requires that we allow another person into our heart, mind, body, and soul. In its purest form, it is a complete and unrestrained sharing of self. It is the process of mutual self-revelation that inspires us to give ourselves completely to another person in the mystery we call love. You have a deep need to be known. Within each of us, there is a story that wants to be told. Sharing our story helps us remember who we are, where we have come from, and what matters most. Sharing our story keeps us sane. Sharing our story with another makes us feel uniquely known. Relationships keep us honest. They provide the mirrors necessary to see and know ourselves. Isolated and alone, we can convince ourselves of all sorts of crazy things, but other people keep it real for us by drawing us out of our own imaginary worlds. They don't allow us to deceive ourselves. Relationships help move us out of our illusions and into reality. The problem is, we are afraid. Afraid to reveal ourselves, to share ourselves, to allow others into our hearts, minds, and souls. We are afraid to be ourselves, that if people really knew us, they wouldn't love us. That is the deepest of all human fears, lurking in the heart of every person. Although we are afraid to reveal ourselves because of the possibility of rejection, it's only by revealing ourselves that we will ever open the possibility of truly being loved. We are all flawed, and we all have faults; none of us is perfect. We hide because we think people will love us less if they truly knew us, but the opposite is true in most cases. If we are willing to take the risk and reveal ourselves for who we are, we discover that most people are relieved to know that we are human. Why? Because they are human, too, and are filled with the same fear as you. In most cases, you will find that the things you thought would cause people to stop loving you actually lead them to love you more! My own experience suggests that the willingness to share our weaknesses is a tremendous sign of faith, which encourages other people to let down their guard. When we share the ways we struggle with our weaknesses, we encourage people in their struggles. Maturity comes once we learn to cherish the self. So, let us build together a strong relationship based on intimacy. An intimacy that is strong enough to weather any of the storms that life throws at us. Intimacy is the roots of the tree of relationships that allow us to weather any storm. Will you take that step with me? Open yourself up to me and tell me your life story, then we can build the story of our futures together. I don't judge others; I have only intentions to support you in your quest to become the very best version of yourself that you can be. Write me and let's see what the future holds for us. - Pastor Cain