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Is reality stranger than fiction? Can you make sense of a world where failure and obsolescence is the goal? Where horrible actions are overlooked and pettiness is strictly enforced? Well, I reside in that world.
I want to invite you into my present existence. No, not literally, only through my letters. No man, I won’t weep to you or complain or ask for sympathy. I will try to give interesting insight from me, a trapped eyewitness, who would like to try to relate to a normal human being- the experiences, situations and occurrences I have had in my free life and now in here.
I will try to communicate the past portions of my life and my full experiences in these barred places from yesterday until today. I'm seeking friends, not just because of insolation; I desperately need to communicate with normal human being.
Maybe you may have written others but I say to you that because of the pride factor you didn’t hear the plain truth clearly expounded to you.
I write understandable, detailed and insightful letters, not notes. I understand what a friendship really is. Any questions you ask will make letters flow more easily. Don’t be shy, please give this a try and I will relate to you and pen you letters and will leave you waiting for the next one.
I understand people have different reasons why they write, but it will make your day to receive one well back to reality.
Your Opinion Needed
I am faced with a huge dilemma. One that deeply bothers me and one that I believe call for a woman’s insight. I always swore to myself that I would be the best father that I could be to my kids. Unintentionally my relationship with my daughter has suffered severely due to the time I have spent incarcerated. Twenty years ago my daughter was born, making the greatest day of my life. I never would’ve guessed that my mistakes and errors in life would drive a wedge between us. I grew up believing that a man and fathers position was to provide for his family, as long as that was covered everything else is irrelevant. This frame of thinking led me to prison, resulting in me missing the majority of my daughter’s life. During this time away from her and family, I have come to realize that material things do not substitute the presence of a father. Every day I am faced with the fact that I have deeply hurt my daughter to the point where she has no dealings with me. Although my actions may not have shown it over the years due to the choices I've made, I love my daughter more than words can ever explain. Eight months ago she gave birth to her first child; a grandson that I wouldn’t know existed if other family members had not kept me updated. Could you please give me some suggestions on how to rebuild a relationship with my daughter?
Hi, my name is Keri. I've been incarcerated for seven years and I have about seven more to go. Because of the extent of my time, both family members and friends come and go. I'm looking to converse with someone who is a little more consistent.
A little about me; I'm almost fluent in three languages- English, Espanol and Portuguese. I'm very observant, I love to laugh and I like to be around people with positive energy. I love music; I can actually sing and rap.
I spend most of my time working out and reading about different animals and the environment they live in. When I'm released I plan to travel the world as a wildlife photographer.
What I look for in a woman is personality; she has to have a great sense of humor and love to laugh. I'm looking for someone who can help make me a better person; someone that’s understanding and not judgmental. I want to meet a woman who knows that being real is the best asset that she can possess; someone that I can build with mentally and who isn’t going to be intimated by my 7 more years. If this is you, feel free to contact me. It’s been a pleasure but I'm afraid my words here ran short…Yours truly, Keri’Vonte, “The Great”
PS- I just go great news. I'm getting my sentence corrected and now I will be home in three years.
Forgiveness~~ is what I'm asking for. I know tomorrow isn’t promised to anyone, so I hope my today forgives me. I look in the directions of the future, with my past in the rearview mirror. On my way to travel the world, on these many roads that life provides. Some of these roads in my life have been so perilous at times, to the point I've almost became physically non-existent. But for some reason, the physics of this Earth decided to be in my favor.
I hope it’s not too late for my apology because only God knows my sincerity is my only credential. I will forever be who I am, and who I will always be a truth that has been convicted and remain under my oppression, because I refuse to be cold anymore. I just want my heart to be filled with the warmth of love and to spread it to everyone! If I had it in my power, I would make this entire world smile. Since I can’t right now, then one smile at a time will have to suffice. Sincerely yours, Jaleel
Change is inevitable. We, as individuals, and society as a whole, are in a constant state of change. I’ve come to feel life is an experience of events, evaluated and defined by our perceptions.
Many times we require the aide of others, to open our eyes to the truth, to the proper perceptions of life’s events. As I’ve grown older, had aide, and experienced more, I’ve learned to evaluate things more clearly. Learning to recognize and remove the excuses and justifications, and being able to see the truth of things. I feel life is about learning, growing and helping, but one also needs an open heart, a clear mind, and faith that change will lead to the success and safety we seek. I feel we either evolve, and our changes are constructive towards our betterment. Or, we get caught in a destructive cycle, stagnating, or worse, devolving. The truth is that I need success in all the different aspects of life, and to achieve that I need clarity understanding, and the ability to change. For I’m not perfect, merely an imperfect being needing growth, understanding and enlightenment.
Hello everyone.. I'd like to again thank everyone for their support. As you all know, they're making a documentary about my case and my innocence. I just wanted to let everyone know that it's almost done and should be published around the end of March. Please watch my profile for updates. As always you can check out my www.freebrandon.org site for updates to it as well. Thanks!
A STRESSFUL MONTH
So I’m been given a 6 month suspension from one of my college courses and the extra time on my hands is a painful reminder of the fact that I have little control over what happens to my life here in DOC.
Various struggles I’ve endured here have certainly defined my character and push my limits of patience. Thankfully, I’m learning to welcome these upsets because they help me monitor growth and change. However, I am not happy to be wasting my time where it could be spent so much more productively; which leads me to question why the opportunity for schooling has to be earned & maintained vs. encouraged and facilitated at all costs.
In the free world there’s a totally different dynamic but here in prison you’d think that as long as an inmate is ambitious enough and determined to make the changes that need to be made in her life that perhaps a different approach could be taken to ensure her course completion. At the very least, I might have been asked for an explanation of my behavior or even given benefit of the doubt that certainly exists. A warning even for a first encounter with anything disciplinary. Instead I have been slammed by both Corrections and the College who I understood to be ethically committed to my rehabilitation. Hmmm….
It’s been a stressful month but I’m over the discouragement and looking forward to sleeping in.
Knowledge Is Power
Knowledge Is Power
Understand that people who will not use their intelligence are no better than animals that do not have intelligence. Such people are beasts of burden. Steaks on the table by choice and consent. Without wisdom there is no difference between man and beast. In the view of natural selection, this form of slavery is essential. The quality of education on the reservation is of the poorest sort, so that the moat of ignorance isolating the prisoner of war class from the superior class is and remains incomprehensible to the savages. With such an initial handicap, even the bright lower class individuals have little if any hope of extricating themselves from their assigned lot in life. Due to centuries of assimilationist efforts, systematic attempts at cultural extermination and unrelenting missionary efforts, I’ll acknowledge their very first revolutionary who rebelled against the establishment and did it so effectively he gained his own kingdom. Lucifer, the title given to Satan because he brings the forbidden wisdom that apparently God didn’t want humanity to have. The light bearer, the Angelic entity presiding over the Light of truth as over the light of day. Strange and mysterious name to give to the Spirit of Darkness. The fall was the result of man’s knowledge, for his eyes were opened. Lucifer, who tempted Eve to entice Adam to eat of the tree of knowledge and thus free man from the bonds of ignorance. This is not a person but a force. It’s our mind, our tempter, our intelligent liberator and savior from pure animalism. Created for good but which may serve for evil. Fictions are necessary to the people making the truth deadly to those not strong enough to contemplate it in all its brilliance. The understanding of knowledge, science, or technology is Satanism in its purest form. Thus I embrace my damnation.
A King should never appear in public with blood on his face. The Queen must never dirty her hands with ugly tasks. Yet a kingdom cannot stand without the constant squashing of enemies. A Chief must appear civilized, democratic and fair, but play by these rules too strictly or literally and be crushed by those not so foolish. Why depend on the enemy not coming? Depend rather on being ready for him. If you count on safety and prepare not for danger….Good luck. Haters wish you ill. Understand they are plotting to eliminate you. Waiting for them to play their cards is suicidal. You must destroy an enemy entirely or leave them alone. Don’t waste time striking at what seems to be a many headed enemy. Trouble is often traced to a single individual. Strike the shepherd and the sheep will scatter. In any campaign think of the dangers that are remote. If one ember is left alight, no matter how dimly it smolders, a wildfire will eventually breakout. Should anyone talk of reconciliation, declare them too cowardly to be on your side. Going strength against strength is unstrategic. Aim at weaknessess. The best moves are the ones they never see coming. Play on the psychological weaknesses of the opposition, breaking them down mentally before surrendering physically. More life bleeds out of thought than a gaping wound. Victory comes from discipline, trading and ruthlessly high standards. Yet you cannot maintain victory without public and political support. Never be in the wrong! Play the numbers game. The broader your support, the stronger your influence. Don’t create enemies in the heat of victory. Present yourself as a liberator not a conqueror. This is an adults only no limit game. If you want a friend, get a pet, but work with the skilled and competent. The proficient are promoted and the incompetent are removed. Political power comes largely from the barrel of a gun. Your arms must be ready, ready for instant action so that any potential aggressor will not be tempted to risk his own destruction. However the most skilled in warfare are those who conquer without fighting, who capture cities without laying siege. Deception is your most potent weapon.
Finding True Love
It’s said that the one thing people fear most is public speaking. As a person who can sympathize with those who suffer from this fear, I disagree that it is deserving of the #1 spot. I fear more living my entire life without finding my true love.
Is this a legit fear, or is it just psychological? It could be argued that the fear of public speaking is just psychological since for some the solution is simply just to envision your audience naked. Personally, I find this remedy a little strange, and not so comforting, but for a few it may work. The fear of never finding your true love has no such quick fix. Actually, there may be only one way for someone to overcome this fear: Find their true love.
I believe that life is only truly given meaning when you share it with someone you love. By having this belief, I am haunted with the thought that my life will be wasted until I am blessed with someone who gives it meaning. The thought of how great life will be once that someone enters it helps to ease my anxiety and instills hope into each day I live. I would appreciate knowing my readers thoughts and opinions about this blog. I close with a maxim from one of my favorite books.
“People have flaws, but what does that matter when it comes to matters of the heart? We love what we love. Reason does not enter into it. In many ways, unwise love is the truest love. Anyone can love a thing because that’s as easy as putting money into your pocket. But to love a thing despite, to know the flaws and love them too, that is rare and pure and perfect.”