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Hello everyone.. I'd like to again thank everyone for their support. As you all know, they're making a documentary about my case and my innocence. I just wanted to let everyone know that it's almost done and should be published around the end of March. Please watch my profile for updates. As always you can check out my www.freebrandon.org site for updates to it as well. Thanks!
A STRESSFUL MONTH
So I’m been given a 6 month suspension from one of my college courses and the extra time on my hands is a painful reminder of the fact that I have little control over what happens to my life here in DOC.
Various struggles I’ve endured here have certainly defined my character and push my limits of patience. Thankfully, I’m learning to welcome these upsets because they help me monitor growth and change. However, I am not happy to be wasting my time where it could be spent so much more productively; which leads me to question why the opportunity for schooling has to be earned & maintained vs. encouraged and facilitated at all costs.
In the free world there’s a totally different dynamic but here in prison you’d think that as long as an inmate is ambitious enough and determined to make the changes that need to be made in her life that perhaps a different approach could be taken to ensure her course completion. At the very least, I might have been asked for an explanation of my behavior or even given benefit of the doubt that certainly exists. A warning even for a first encounter with anything disciplinary. Instead I have been slammed by both Corrections and the College who I understood to be ethically committed to my rehabilitation. Hmmm….
It’s been a stressful month but I’m over the discouragement and looking forward to sleeping in.
Knowledge Is Power
Knowledge Is Power
Understand that people who will not use their intelligence are no better than animals that do not have intelligence. Such people are beasts of burden. Steaks on the table by choice and consent. Without wisdom there is no difference between man and beast. In the view of natural selection, this form of slavery is essential. The quality of education on the reservation is of the poorest sort, so that the moat of ignorance isolating the prisoner of war class from the superior class is and remains incomprehensible to the savages. With such an initial handicap, even the bright lower class individuals have little if any hope of extricating themselves from their assigned lot in life. Due to centuries of assimilationist efforts, systematic attempts at cultural extermination and unrelenting missionary efforts, I’ll acknowledge their very first revolutionary who rebelled against the establishment and did it so effectively he gained his own kingdom. Lucifer, the title given to Satan because he brings the forbidden wisdom that apparently God didn’t want humanity to have. The light bearer, the Angelic entity presiding over the Light of truth as over the light of day. Strange and mysterious name to give to the Spirit of Darkness. The fall was the result of man’s knowledge, for his eyes were opened. Lucifer, who tempted Eve to entice Adam to eat of the tree of knowledge and thus free man from the bonds of ignorance. This is not a person but a force. It’s our mind, our tempter, our intelligent liberator and savior from pure animalism. Created for good but which may serve for evil. Fictions are necessary to the people making the truth deadly to those not strong enough to contemplate it in all its brilliance. The understanding of knowledge, science, or technology is Satanism in its purest form. Thus I embrace my damnation.
A King should never appear in public with blood on his face. The Queen must never dirty her hands with ugly tasks. Yet a kingdom cannot stand without the constant squashing of enemies. A Chief must appear civilized, democratic and fair, but play by these rules too strictly or literally and be crushed by those not so foolish. Why depend on the enemy not coming? Depend rather on being ready for him. If you count on safety and prepare not for danger….Good luck. Haters wish you ill. Understand they are plotting to eliminate you. Waiting for them to play their cards is suicidal. You must destroy an enemy entirely or leave them alone. Don’t waste time striking at what seems to be a many headed enemy. Trouble is often traced to a single individual. Strike the shepherd and the sheep will scatter. In any campaign think of the dangers that are remote. If one ember is left alight, no matter how dimly it smolders, a wildfire will eventually breakout. Should anyone talk of reconciliation, declare them too cowardly to be on your side. Going strength against strength is unstrategic. Aim at weaknessess. The best moves are the ones they never see coming. Play on the psychological weaknesses of the opposition, breaking them down mentally before surrendering physically. More life bleeds out of thought than a gaping wound. Victory comes from discipline, trading and ruthlessly high standards. Yet you cannot maintain victory without public and political support. Never be in the wrong! Play the numbers game. The broader your support, the stronger your influence. Don’t create enemies in the heat of victory. Present yourself as a liberator not a conqueror. This is an adults only no limit game. If you want a friend, get a pet, but work with the skilled and competent. The proficient are promoted and the incompetent are removed. Political power comes largely from the barrel of a gun. Your arms must be ready, ready for instant action so that any potential aggressor will not be tempted to risk his own destruction. However the most skilled in warfare are those who conquer without fighting, who capture cities without laying siege. Deception is your most potent weapon.
Finding True Love
It’s said that the one thing people fear most is public speaking. As a person who can sympathize with those who suffer from this fear, I disagree that it is deserving of the #1 spot. I fear more living my entire life without finding my true love.
Is this a legit fear, or is it just psychological? It could be argued that the fear of public speaking is just psychological since for some the solution is simply just to envision your audience naked. Personally, I find this remedy a little strange, and not so comforting, but for a few it may work. The fear of never finding your true love has no such quick fix. Actually, there may be only one way for someone to overcome this fear: Find their true love.
I believe that life is only truly given meaning when you share it with someone you love. By having this belief, I am haunted with the thought that my life will be wasted until I am blessed with someone who gives it meaning. The thought of how great life will be once that someone enters it helps to ease my anxiety and instills hope into each day I live. I would appreciate knowing my readers thoughts and opinions about this blog. I close with a maxim from one of my favorite books.
“People have flaws, but what does that matter when it comes to matters of the heart? We love what we love. Reason does not enter into it. In many ways, unwise love is the truest love. Anyone can love a thing because that’s as easy as putting money into your pocket. But to love a thing despite, to know the flaws and love them too, that is rare and pure and perfect.”
More About Me
Well, it’s my first blog entry since I signed up on WriteAPrisoner.com. My profile has only been up for a few months and I've already met some wonderful people. Socializing with all you Free Birds out there in the “Real World” have been a blessing. I am truly grateful for every letter I get and every new friend that I make. Thank you to everybody who has written me and to all my future friends who will be writing me soon! I look forward to hearing from you!
I've been incarcerated for almost four years now. It feels odd being stuck in a time-warp, standing still, watching the world go by. I cannot deny that the criminal actions of my past have made me more than deserving of this 17 year sentence. But I cannot deny all the growth I've made in these past four years alone. Prison sucks. It is a mad-house stuffed with some of the worst people imaginable, but not all of us are monsters. Some of us are changing for the better. Not because of some class or rehabilitation courses; no, guys like me continue to grow because the pain of our regret, the knowledge of our mistakes, propels us forward on the path of our enlightenment. It is the hideous awareness of my past stupidity that coaches me on my daily endeavors. “Be a better man!” it shouts, “Make better choices!” it screams. So I listen to my regret and every day I grow a little. In these past four years the inches have added up. Slowly yet surely I grow from the muck of my previous self, extending toward the sun, reaching for that light that’s buried deep within my being. So today I begin this blog on what I know: CHANGE
R.E.A.L.; Remember Everybody Ain’t Loyal. A statement of fact…said by one who’s his brother’s keeper, and his sisters protector. Loyalty is proclaimed by many, but only kept by a few. A character trait that is procured through blood, sweat, and tears…and even calloused hands from carrying the burden of the ones he loves. Many times I've opened my arms for hugs and received stabs in the back; many times I've held out my hand for a shake…But the other person’s smile just didn’t match! That’s why I’d rather not be so attached, because I can remember everybody ain’t loyal.
The same ones that pledge their allegiance would sit there and watch you die; they smile at the sight of tears in your eye! Loyalty isn’t bought…when the money is gone, so are they. It isn’t taught…when the teachers are gone, the children play. Loyalty is in the blood in your veins, and in your heart and your brain! So the next time you look up to see who’s there…when you feel your pain, and no one is there, just remember…everybody ain’t Loyal! Sincerely, Jaleel
HAPPY NEW YEARS!!
This New Year - This day - This moment - This is our time to be the most awesome version of ourselves. This New Year presents a chance for us to accomplish our deepest, greatest hopes!
Let not anger, doubt, shame or any form of negativity hold us back or inprison our dreams. There is an inextinguishable, beautiful, bright light that shines in us all!
This year will present obstacles, setbacks, heartaches - That’s life! Life is fragile, life is beautiful - it sucks @ times, but waking up each day is a precious gift from God…And w/that gift you are obligated to give yourself the best possible chance @ happiness and success!
Turn that swagger level up to its highest level! Time to surround ourselves with positive, like-minded people who truly want to C-U-Win!
Your goals may be career oriented, educational, Spiritual, physical - whatnever they may be - This is the moment that you fearlessly and bodily step toward everything that you ever wanted.
In closing, I pray that you achieve all your dreams - or that you never stop chasing them - that you anger yourself in Faith, perseverance, prayer and positivity, that you recognize the power and beauty of your imagination! Never give up! And never, ever stop smiling!
Stay safe….Delon. 2018 – Let’s Get It!!
I am open to having the discussion with socially conscious women, regarding the stigma that is associated with men who are incarcerated. In some ways as to how it relates to establishing a healthy friendship with a woman. I don’t want anyone to judge me off my current circumstance.
When people usually think of determination they think of the drive or want to - to achieve, succeed or better themselves altogether. No one that hasn't gone through a life of drugs, struggles, or mental and emotional mishaps would never know the determination could be a bad thing. Because I could be so determined to achieve that that I would step on, walk over, or even run through, whatever was in my way to get what I want, or even just to see that next high. And that's how I lived my life until now. I finally figured all this out after my own tragedy and the tragedies like Hurricane Harvey and the shooting in that small town. I felt determined to want to help those people who were directly affected by these terrible situations that they were just thrown into without any say so. And this is my new mind frame and outlook on life. I'm determined to help those in need of someone to lean on or confide in. I'm determined to sacrifice myself and my own needs just to see an ounce of happiness or relief in someone else's life instead of my own. My heart goes out to those in need of someone to lean on. And this is my determination in life.