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February 15 2015
Hello! Something pretty amazing has happened to me! After being at Close custody facilities for over 23 years, I was transferred to a Medium prison on January 14, 2015. This is a huge step on my journey to rejoin society. I feel like my positive attitude and behavior is being recognized and rewarded. Now the burden is on me to prove that I deserve this opportunity. My primary goal is to complete the sex offender treatment program here. I am already confident I will never re-offend, but this will give me some important insight and tools to help ensure that never happens. I am committed to seeing it through, despite having no illusions that this will be a fun experience. Other important goals include completing my college degree, taking more vocational training and preparing for my Lifer Review in 2018. Also, a few people have left me no way to contact them when answering my ad. An email, via Corrlinks is awesome, but my state doesn't currently allow me to email back. That’s supposed to be changing when Minnesota switches to Jpay sometime in 2015. Until then, I need and address for snail mail. Others have provided addresses that return mail as un-deliverable. Please check that your address is typed out correctly. I answer everyone who contacts me as I know how much it hurts to reach out to someone and get only silence. A new facility. A new world. Hope there are no slugs..
We're All Prisoners
February 6 2015
In this world, people are held prisoners in many different ways. There are individuals who are prisoners of their fears, complexes, limitations, bad relationships and/or addictions. There are those who are prisoners of the need to have "more": more money, property, power, fame, sex, etc. Oh, but that's not all! There are still people who are prisoners of the taboos, beliefs, or customs of the cultures where they are born/raised. Then there is my type: those who are prisoners of flaws in the legal system of the USA; A country that in the eyes of the world, is supposed to have the more "efficient" justice system. I'm living proof of the contrary. Right now, however, my focus is on telling you that I can, in a way, relate to all of you who are prisoners in some way. I have conquered imprisonment by understanding that while my body is being held prisoner behind the walls of this prison, my mind, heart and spirit will forever be free. I have the freedom to express what I think and what I feel on paper and then share it with the world. I invite you to find a safe and healthy way to free yourself from whatever is holding you prisoner. Feel free to share your thoughts and feelings with me. I'm here for all prisoners of the world. Write me at the address provided please.
Quotes 2 Live By
August 11 2014
Quotes to Live By
“Everything looks impossible for the people who never try anything.”
“Time is only wasting, so why wait for eventually.”
“Everybody is going to hurt you but you have to find the people that are worth hurting for.”
“You block your dream when you allow your fear to grow bigger than your faith.”
“You choose to allow problems and obstacles to overwhelm you.”
“You come to love not by finding the perfect person but by finding and learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.”
“Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.”
“Confidence comes after a little experience but experience doesn't happen without a little confidence.”
“We make our greatest mistakes for love and they are the only mistakes we would choose to make again.”
“Life is choice.”
“You can't build a reputation on what you are going to do.”
“Time you enjoy wasting was never wasted.”
“Every day is conquerable by its hours and every hour by its minutes.”
“The best way to predict your future is to create it.”
“If you're not being who you're called to be it's a slow dream.”
“If you choose to do nothing then you're making a choice.”
“Life isn't about finding yourself, it's about creating yourself.”
“You have to expect things of yourself before you can do them.”
“An idea is meaningless unless it's put into action.”
“You never know when a miracle will happen.”
“Do the things that frighten you.”
“Be the architect of your life.”
“The loss of life is only great to those who chance it.”
“Our dreams are often glimpses of our lives.”
I Appreciate the Letters!
May 9 2014
Expressing myself can be hard for me. But writing somehow relieves negative tension. Day after day the same routine occurs. The constant repetitive nature of prison can drive you insane. I am thankful that this website has brought me to meet a few interesting people, and receive some nice pictures. I am especially thankful for the people who are non-judgmental and open spiritually to new beginnings. I am always open to making new friends, and never judge someone by their past alone. The lifestyle in here is sometimes hard for people to relate to, and I love when there are people who can sympathize with practices in prison they have never experienced. I love nature and am always first out when they call
outside recreation. Despite popular misconception, my prison does not call it that often, even though the law says they are supposed to. There can not be much compensation for the loss, but I do say receiving letters and pictures in the mail makes me feel just a little bit "free". Again, I thank the people who take the time to write. Jason
April 9 2014
I'm sorry to everyone in my life I have ever disappointed. I have the most wonderful family and the world. They are supportive of me, love me, and want me to come home. Being in this place I have learned to appreciate others. When I was out, I sadly admit that I took others in my life for granted. I said and did things that I regret. I wish I would've treated my family better. I was going through so much. My family's divorce, an abusive boyfriend, self-esteem issues, etc.… I've made mistakes in my life that I cannot undo. Had I made better decisions, my friend E. would still be alive. His death was an accident, but it’s the terrible choices that I made that caused it. My parents are suffering as well. They’ve spent all these years without me. My nieces and nephew are growing up without me. They were born while I've been incarcerated. I worry about my dad because of his health. I just want to be home while he is still alive. I've lost an aunt while there. My grandpa just recently passed away. I can't bear to lose any more family while in here. But I keep messing up in here. Yes, I have received write ups. You don't understand the environment I have to live in. The women in here are petty, immature, users, thieves, followers, spiteful, full of drama, and can't be trusted. It's hard to stay out of trouble, not fight, or get caught up in such an environment. I have to stay in my room to myself just to get away from phony people who only want to take advantage of my kindness. I stay in my room and read, watch TV, do hobby craft, and my college work but it is so lonely. I feel like no one in here cares what I'm going through. That's why my mail means so much to me. As long as someone is writing to me, then I feel cared about. I will write back anyone who writes me. But it hurts so much when someone writes and gives up on me. I look forward to becoming someone's friend and then my hopes get crushed when the person stops writing. I NEED MAIL!! My biggest fear is being forgotten about. I need letters, visits, and people I can call collect. I need people that can print things from the Internet for me, people that will do Bible studies with me, people that will let me vent to them, and will encourage me. Most of all I need friends that will never give up on me. I am tired of always crying and feeling lonely. I hate having to race to sign up for the phone, or when others don't get off the phone in time, therefore shortening my own 15 minutes of phone time. I hate that all my loved one’s can’t even afford collect calls. I'm tired of the room raids, pat downs, yard downs, strip searches, violations of privacy, and a total lack of control I have as an inmate always being told what to do. I hate this place. I miss my family so much. I go to the parole board in December 2014. I am so scared because I do not know what will happen. I hear that lifers almost never receive parole on the first hearing plus, I have write ups in my C-file. I do have positive things as well, for example, my college degrees. I'm scared if I don't get good news the others will drop out of my life. It takes a lot of patience to stick by a lifer because the future is uncertain. But I need people in my life that will have that patience to continue to be in my life no matter what the outcome of my hearings are. Please pray for me. Please don't ever give up on me. Help ease the loneliness and pain I feel each day. Write me!
TOP TEN LIST
January 15 2014
10 reasons pen pals are better than boyfriends
10) A prison pen pal really does want to hear about your day.
9) Overdue for a bikini wax? Your pen pal will never know.
8) Your pen pal won't hog the blankets at night.
7) When your pen pal snores, it will not wake you up.
6) You'll never have to justify buying an expensive pair of shoes.
5) Go ahead-- wear comfy undergarments...your pen pal won't know.
4) Your pen pal won't secretly read all the texts on your phone.
3) You'll never have to meet your pen pal's parents.
2) A pen pal will never neglect you.
1) A pen pal in prison can't give you an STD or get you pregnant.
November 27 2013
I’m in prison and could use some real friends to stand by me. I am very open to anyone at all. I’m young and have a big heart. I like to work out and play ball and I also love the “tell the difference” puzzles. Please take the time to get to know me.
November 12 2013
With it going on 8 years in January since my sister died from alcohol abuse, I can’t help wondering if my being there would have changed anything? I used to be a drunk too, so I don’t think I’d of been a great influence on her. Some might say it’s just our way to be drunks, as natives. I won’t blame history for being the way I was before prison. I got that teaching from my dad. He was a drunk too. I can’t help wondering what my sister was running from, why did she follow our same path? I guess if I’d have looked at her life outside of the surface glances I gave it; it would be possible I’d not be in the dark now. I miss my sister so much still today. We did not grow up together, so I missed out on so much to begin with. It was only after our dad died that we came back into each other’s lives. Sometimes I want to cry for her but I don’t. This is prison; I can’t look weak in front of these guys. What a foolish world I live in. When I sit in the sweat lodge is the time I can show the pain I have for my sister. I pray she is in a better place and that I have the strength to be a better brother to my other sisters.
May 27 2013
Life on the Inside
January 21 2013
As I sit in this cold, unwanted cell, with no hope, or feeling of love, wondering how did my life even come to this, or how did this end up being me, or how did I end up being a part of this dark, lost, cold world? NEVER in life, or when I was a little kid, did I think me, myself, and I, would end up in a -- I don't even know what to call this place. This is a crazy, never-ending nightmare that I wish never started. They locked me up, caged me like a lion, and took me away from my family, from my loved ones, like I'm a monster, just terrorizing everything that crosses paths with me. I am wasting and throwing away my precious years in this dump, years that I will never get back. Not even money can buy my years back.
But I'm okay. I don't and am not going to let this break me down physically, mentally, or emotionally. Everyone alive goes through some type of struggle, or struggles, in this life. Everyone just happens to deal with them differently; in a way where one thinks that what we're doing is the right thing, by overcoming our pain and hurt, or, for some people, their fear or retaliation. But look what some of us get. Instead of feeling relief, or finding justice; nothing but prison time. So now a lot of people look at us like we are the worst people, good for nothing for all time, because we're in prison.
Let me say this to you, beautiful ladies, and everyone else who is reading this who is not a woman... I made mistakes, okay? I'm paying for them. Does that still gives people a right to look at me like I'm the lowest scum of the earth, because I'm in prison? Without people knowing me or even talking to me, judging me because of my mistakes. Whatever happened to "Only God can judge me?" Whatever happened with the real criminals; sex offenders, child molesters, rapists and serial killers? I'm not using that as an excuse. I'm talking reality.
I want to say this -- the same people that look or say the worst things about people who are locked up, with respect, look at yourself first. Look in the mirror and know yourself before talking bad about anybody else. Because of some of the same people that say this or that, probably did, or are doing, some bad things themselves. They just haven't been caught yet. Sometimes it takes people having to go through some or certain trials and tribulations in life, where are reality sets in, and where we say, okay; this is it. Time to choose a different route and go the right way in life. Or else some people keep living the same lifestyle, even me, then we're really not going to be nothing in life but failures.
That's where family and friends, close to that person that doesn't listen, or doesn't care to listen, or does not care, everyone around starts to leave, and detach themselves from that person. Because they're not going to let that person bring them down, and why try and help someone that can't or doesn't care about helping or bettering him or herself? Unless they're worth doing it for and a person really loves that person.
Some people learn the hard way and some the easy way, and some don't learn at all. I might be locked up, but they can never lock, or control, my mind, heart, or soul. I have nothing but time to think and realize what I did and what my life has been, and what I can make it to be, so I can progress and succeed in life.
My only reason for saying this, is to say this not everybody in here are as people think, or as people label us as. I am also saying this to speak out to the youth, and everybody living the fast life. Watch yourself. This isn't nothing nice you want to go through and experience. Life is too short and so valuable, to throw it away for nothing. Sometimes we are not fully aware or really fully conscious of our own inner being. We need to find ourselves all the way, fully, so we will not slip and fall in our own paths. We all make mistakes and no one or nobody in this world is perfect.
I say this -- always make the worst, bad situation, into the positive, best one. No matter what, try your best not to stress or be sad. Stay with a big, beautiful smile, put one on every woman's face, and keep a clear mind. You will think better, and if you react with a better attitude, you are going to have a better outcome, and circumstances are that you're going to progress, and be a stronger person. Nothing can get in your way, because nothing can break you down; physically, mentally, and emotionally. With time and patience, things are going to start and go your way. Be prepared for the worst and always hope for the best. Have faith in God and follow your heart to guide you to what is right; and also having faith, as well confidence, in yourself too.
A dream is not up in the sky, up in the stars. It's right there, in your HEART. All you have to do is look hard, believe, and find it. So do what you think, and what you feel, what is right for you. Do not let anyone at all dictate your pace, your footsteps. You only decide that, and always be, stand, and stay strong. This is your life, and you do what you want. We only got, or have, one life to live. So enjoy it and make the best of it.
I've seen a lot and been through a lot. I got another opportunity in life once again. I go home in the next year. If any of you beautiful ladies want knowledge, or want to write a real man, well I'll be right here, and I'm not the type to lie or play with a lady's intelligence.
MAY GOD WATCH OVER EVERYBODY AND YOUR FAMILY. TAKE CARE.
Age/race is not important.
HAPPY NEW YEAR.
We were born to lose, but built win.