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The Fruits of My Failures
6/7/2020

You are so much more than your skin tone

Bust casted against my midnight complexion

you’re in Technicolor, a calico tapestry

you’re the reflection of the best parts of me

and I felt you

repeatedly

my redbone odyssey

I travelled inside of you

a hero’s journey

I started a novice, green to the reality of what

love is meant to be

pounding my way through the brush

of a jungle of emotion

smitten while being bitten by bugs and leeches

Who could have known that they would be

the ones to perish from the poison in my blood

I was a warrior

murdering in the name of my cause

even though I had no idea what it was

 

You gave me a gift

No, I took a piece of you for myself

I re-created God in both of our images

We born truth to power

inside of your womb

Now… time had come

To confront myself

 

steel clashed in the abyss

a suicidal encounter

because absent from the light of day

I hate myself, my weakness, my ignorance

you watched on in such disappointment

suffering scars for which there exist

no salve or ointment

and I failed you

 

I failed you

 

What use is a God who doesn’t deserve your faith

What use is a fortune is everything purchased is waste

So, you allowed the devil to stick a pin in the head

the only understanding that you and I shared

then retreated to your rest to pray

for the angel of an infant to meet you

after your dead

And I resented you as much as you resented me

time has passed

and now I know what I knew not

I’ve finally arrived at a place where I don’t fight

myself in the dark

and I lament you

the way I lost you

 

I lost you

 

and all the things we lost

See all poetry for Caleb Lewis #497860