“HOW DARE THEY SPEAK…..GOD”
How dare they speak about God, to me….
where was he when I was harassed at school?
He sure wasn't there to stop my father from beating me up, nor was He there to keep me safe when I became molested, as a kid.
Didn't He hear my heart crying out?
Didn't He notice the countless substances that I used to numb my soul?
Were not my tears a pleading prayer for help good enough?
Death was far more appealing, then to continue lay wasting in my years.
I grew up dwelling in hatred, despising life and this world.
A world that didn't seem to share an ounce of compassion towards me, but instead only pain and misery.
Recollecting back on these thoughts - causes my heart to sag,
reflecting on the moments when my wounds shifted into scars.
Oh how wrong was I ….to disregard God as a myth,
an illusion without any logical sense. I spend years searching for an excuse to exist, without realizing that my soul was already HIS.
God has always been all around me….HE was there in
my teacher's heart, who allowed me to clear my tears
alone in her class….HE was always there with me through
my mother's love, as she consoled me after my father's wrath.
Yes, HE was there witnessing, as I gather strength
to transform my self-hate into forgiveness and love…
….Now please, speak to me about GOD….(again).
Francisco Palacios Jr.