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Facing Myself: Jeffery S. Hazle Jr. 02/17-18/2017
8/11/2019

Hours upon hours, I exchange blows with the boy growing into
A man standing in front of his mirror,
Mental deterioration as I analyze and criticize the image
Reflecting back into my eyes,
In my mind, insecurities became superior, confidence became
Inferior,
My mental residence is in need of new interior,
Outside opinions I am in fear of,
A huge role that was played to perfection, outside opinion accepting
Their Oscar nominations,
Only I handed over their rewards,
Although some may have never known my discord,
There was an observer who noticed my thought-battle,
He stated, “Take that mask of insecurities and design it to your
Liking,
What you can’t change, you can’t change, but take care of it and
Make it look as good as you can get it,
How you wear your confidence is what will make others appreciate who
You truly are,
You will be happy being who you truly are,
Beauty is not only skin deep my friend, your beauty can also be found
In your character, it can be found in how you treat and love others,
Your beauty will always be in the eyes of the beholder,
Every outside opinion will not be to your liking but you are not
Going to like everything you see either,
Only those who know you and those who grow to know you,
They will be the only opinions that matter,
And they will be the only ones who cherish your beauty”…
As I began to take heed to those words, I began to reflect,
I battled insecurities which led me to indulging in different forms
Of intoxicants,
Those intoxicants sometimes fueled my confidence, but eventually
On my spiral down,
I slipped and fell into a deep pool of depression,
Yeah, I was drowning, almost lost my life, I was barely fighting,
But I did not stop fighting,
I doggy paddled to stay afloat, then I learned to swim,
I made it to the edge of that pool,
I lifted myself out of that pool, and
Here I stand,
Confidently today…
But as I stare down at my reflection in that pool,
I remember that pain,
I remember that journey,
Then I began to wonder will I end up back in that pool again,
Only time will tell…