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Sounds Within

Sounds Within by John Carey

As I sit in the darkness of my caged-in hell, I listen to the rasp of sounds that never go away. The tempest of violence, and the forces that drive it. Desperate souls pitched into a fiery grave. Sounds of terror, loneliness, pain, and despair. All echo into the night, never fading, set into motion born of unrequited love, senseless lashing out at things that cannot be seen or touched, filling your soul, changing you inside against your will. Night after night, year after year, the sounds continue, you fight change. The depth of the sorrow is born out of darkness so black it taints everything and everyone. Those on the outside looking in can’t understand the pain, loss, and emptiness of a life inside with no meaning. Those of us inside feeling as if we no longer matter, as life on the outside goes on without us. We slowly go insane. As dawn begins to break, the rising sun chasing the darkness into the shadows. As the darkness recedes, the sounds within start to change. Whispers of conspiracies, plots thicken, threats are made, drama fills the yard, predators seeking prey. Others don masks of strength, standing against the hell that is, trying not to become like them, trying not to change. But the darkness cannot be avoided. Each day happens, guards maintain the façade of control, knowing that madness stirs just below the surface. Just like the bubbling of a chemical reaction, any change can quickly take things out of control. Then it happens, the face of evil in it’s truest form is exposed. Shown by the guards who take pleasure in tormenting those of us locked away. They turn up the heat as they think themselves immune, playing us as jokes. Pushing, prodding, manipulating, throwing their weight around like an open torch, laughing at us. These sounds join the chaos, getting louder, laughing, teasing, prodding, pushing more and more day after day, night after night. Then, without notice, boom! It explodes, a blinding light, screams, chaos, all go up in a flash. Then the moment is gone. Darkness fills the void. Death has come and gone. No more joking, for he was the joke. Those of us who remain must now suffer for his actions. We take the punishment. He’s no longer with us. We look around, we listen, new sounds fill the air, change the sounds. Do, but never die. As the hours of light slip back into darkness, filled with pain and suffering, a strange comfort comes with the darkness. It touches you no matter what, your only choice is to embrace it. You start to change within the darkness. The sounds start again. Terror, loneliness, pain, despair, the sounds within, rasping in your soul. You fight the change but embrace the darkness with hopes to stay alive. The sounds grow within, and the change begins.

By John “Shadow” Carey


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