Larry Barker #00695672
In prison the days are long, but the nights longer and lonelier. I continue to wait for the daylight, but the darkness encloses me in her fists! Sleep escapes me as memories of the good times and the bad push out the willingness to enjoy life and leave me restless, hurting, filling my heart with thoughts of love and hostility of thoughtfulness and remorse! Of guilt and despair. I cry out, is there no end to the hurt? Must shame plague my footsteps forever? Accepting? Loving? Caring? Forgiving? Willing to build with me a new life on foundations more sure, to whom I will pledge as will she, faithfulness forever? Others have cried with me in the darkness, they have cared! In the prisons of our own humanness, the demands of their lives must take precedence. In the end I shall stand alone. I have attempted to build again on my own. Too soon, unwise and unstable. New wounds have come to tear open the wounds not yet healed. The struggle is not ended. And so I crawl – uneasy, yet unyielding to defeat and sure despair toward better days. Toward light that is unending, toward newfound friends who keep me in their care.
My father is fighting for his life with trying to overcome a long brain surgery to remove a tumor. Not to make things easier, my older brother passed away just days later. Thanks to all who have supported me. It has literally broken my heart and my fragile heart beats! It will get better and it will continue to touch others’ hearts!