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Xavier Vidot
11/13/2022

    Who I Am...

    From eyes and ears closed, I arose
    tears fall for ones I've once known
    we all died but never know
    resurrection commences too slow 
    I search for these loopholes 
    to justify my stay low
    dirt piles on my grave slow
    females I've once known 
    keep the earth above my head wet
    spit with disrespect
    again and again 
    friends I've once known
    encroach in darkness 
    daggers cloaked 
    guise residing in their eyes
    living Ceasers life 
    fitting how we die
    children I've once known
    grow and forget 
    my legacy dead
    all because I close my eyes and slept
    deep missions 
    shallow vision 
    missed women 
    disappointed living
    depression can sit in
    chains or hands around my ankles
    keeping me down 
    pulling yanking 
    climbing but it hurts 
    coming out the cave and seeing the light 
    I'm blind 
    still adjusting 
    still waking
    demons my only family 
    heaven's a lonely goal 
    pretenders leading serpentine roads 
    leading back to hell
    losing all my old friends
    and making no new ones
    no more love 
    I just want 100 sons
    women is a drug 
    and I'm too prone to overdose on love
    I don't want to be cold 
    but when I'm warm 
    I'm burning up
    zero or 100
    I'd love to keep it 60 
    but it's hard to keep it equal
    my neck hurts from gazing at the past
    reminiscing on days I wish could've last
    nostalgia always twinged with melancholy
    looking over my shoulder is a habit and a hobby
    hardly 
    is life what I thought 
    when alive I wish I was not
    when dead I'm sick that I am
    nature will prevail in the end 
    and where I need to be I will land
    be it in my square 
    or savage land 
    when the earthquakes end
    all the people I've once known 
    will remember who I was
    and bear witness to who I am
    

 

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