Having been free for almost six years now, I have come to learn that we humans over whelm each other with responsibilities, for most people its not a problem to balance responsibilities out and are very much able to work everything out, however, with people like myself even the simplest of responsibilities can be over whelming, paying bills, staying mentally balanced etc...I just get so very jealous when those around me are holding down stable jobs and are cruising through life as if it was second nature to them, while I wonder why I exist each time I wake up in the morning or afternoon and the meaning to my life (and yes I've had five years of therapy already) Has God chosen me to be a lost cause? Seriously....what is someone like me suppose to be doing on this earth, I've tried getting a job in the least six years, but six years of rejection does some damage to a persons ego trust me on that, its just that when I was in prison yes I was assaulted each month like clock work, but at least I find meaning with talking to dudes like myself who had the same interests and same views of life, here on the out's its completely different no one wants a bar of me (no one likes me) besides my inner family but even they struggle at times, but in prison I knew where I stood and I was someone in there regardless how weak and small I was, at least I had my clique or click however you say it...In the last 18 months I have only been able to walk out the front door little owe meeting someone new, I am still very wary and paranoid that people wont like because I was in prison, I know I don't have to tell everyone I was in prison but I am so very tired of hiding these days that I've just had enough already....anyways sorry for sounding all depressed but this is my new reality now and its going to take years of getting use to, its only now that I have found some form of balance regardless how small it might be....:coffee::sobstory::shakehead:
August 24, 2014 - 4:03am#1
Freedom is over rated?
Edited by: Anonymous on Jan 2 2015 - 8:33pm Reason: Imported from old database.