Skip to main content

Must read Terms of Service & Privacy Policy and be at least 18

Must read Terms of Service & Privacy Policy and be at least 18

 
Anonymous

Having been free for almost six years now, I have come to learn that we humans over whelm each other with responsibilities, for most people its not a problem to balance responsibilities out and are very much able to work everything out, however, with people like myself even the simplest of responsibilities can be over whelming, paying bills, staying mentally balanced etc...I just get so very jealous when those around me are holding down stable jobs and are cruising through life as if it was second nature to them, while I wonder why I exist each time I wake up in the morning or afternoon and the meaning to my life (and yes I've had five years of therapy already) Has God chosen me to be a lost cause? Seriously....what is someone like me suppose to be doing on this earth, I've tried getting a job in the least six years, but six years of rejection does some damage to a persons ego trust me on that, its just that when I was in prison yes I was assaulted each month like clock work, but at least I find meaning with talking to dudes like myself who had the same interests and same views of life, here on the out's its completely different no one wants a bar of me (no one likes me) besides my inner family but even they struggle at times, but in prison I knew where I stood and I was someone in there regardless how weak and small I was, at least I had my clique or click however you say it...In the last 18 months I have only been able to walk out the front door little owe meeting someone new, I am still very wary and paranoid that people wont like because I was in prison, I know I don't have to tell everyone I was in prison but I am so very tired of hiding these days that I've just had enough already....anyways sorry for sounding all depressed but this is my new reality now and its going to take years of getting use to, its only now that I have found some form of balance regardless how small it might be....:coffee::sobstory::shakehead:


Last post
29 posts / 0 new

 
Petra Swiss Miss

Hey Mark's parent
Do you mean (his info not showing by profile picture) in regard to the pic right here on the left beside the post? Well, that would be accurate. Because this is the forum and the pic is linked to the user (you) who created the account. Your son's info is in his "Inmate Profile", where everything seems to look right. Maybe you need to up date the Facility address for snail mail? It only states Wabash Valley - without Correctional Facility.
Have a look

https://writeaprisoner.com/inmates/mark-shepherd-267385/penpal

It can happen, that mail is rejected because of an incomplete address. If you scroll down in your son's profile, there is a link on the bottom left called "Report an Address Change".

If you want to give his profile a boost, maybe create a new post with the link to his profil. Because I don't know if anybody is comfortable answering to a strangers email.

Best of luck and I hope your son will be getting mail soon.

 
Kirsten

Hey, to make a profile for your brother that can be seen by us, go to https://writeaprisoner.com/inmate-new-listing  

and follow the steps.

 
Pham Thompson2804

Hey this is my bothers profile and he's looking for someone to talk to, to help his time go by he gets out 2023 and early 2022. He is at Snake River Correctional Institution and would like someone to talk to, feel free to check out his profile and send him a letter. God Bless

 
CCali218

I myself know all too well what it's like to feel like you don't belong here! I'm so sorry you have to go thru this! But usually it's our own anxiety and negative thoughts that paralyzes us, that said I also know that doesn't matter when your actively going thru the hell. I hope you can push yourself to venture out into your community getting active in something that's meaningful to you. Then I'm sure you will meet better connections. I totally believe you have a purpose with your own unique talents that you are to share with others. Stay strong and don't judge yourself nor allow others to do so! There is a better future out there for you! 

 
anderos

Freedom is a very broad notion. And I think people dramatize too often about it. The paradox is that the higher is the civilization level of the community, the less freedom you get. I am from the UK, postcodefinder.net. The country has a lot of benefits for its citizens. But at the same time, there are so many restrictions that it is difficult to state everybody us free here.

 
G_O

The blood of Jesus Christ is the key for complete freedom.
◄ John 8:36
"If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed."

 
anderos

The Fox Network which is a broadcast entity distinctly different from the Fox News channel, does not have any affiliates or owned & operated station in Canada.

But, Fox Network programming is carried on cable & satelite providers in Canada thru several U.S. stations near the U.S. & Canada border.

Oh please Hate speech?

 
SoDa

OMG enough with all this god talk. What you are feeling is absolutely normal; they are YOUR feelings. No one has a magical life - it all sucks for the most part and is filled with struggle for EVERYONE. We all have our demons - that is why people in the US overeat, drink, do drugs, extreme sports, work out, yell, road rage, beat their wives, etc. You do not own the monopoly on hating yourself at times or not knowing WHY you are here. There is not a master plan for anyone. That being said, YOU can create a master plan. Step one: help someone else. Step two: help another someone else Step three: help yet another someone else. 

For real, this is the solution to what your life means to the world. Help someone else get what they want or what they need. Be there for someone else instead of worrying about yourself. Spread your broad knowledge, be an activist for something you believe in, teach someone to read, lead someone to be happy, warn another human, be a friend. All of this is your purpose. Let the love and light shine through you. You are enough just as you are, so give back. 

If you help others, I guarantee iwhen you look back at your year next year you will be so happy and in a much better place. 

I love you, Mr. Anonymous. I send you all the love of the universe! XOXO 

 
Oshane

hello,how things going

 
CityHiker72

I should say too, that maybe a lot of us give the appearance of drifting through life without a care, but that's not what it's like on the inside! I've had many, many days, make that years, in which I've felt that I could fall apart, and was in fact pretty scared of doing so. That's the human experience, and you are not alone, nor abnormal. Hugs to you!

 
CityHiker72

I really like some suggestions of checking into ministerial options. I myself go to a UCC church, that is welcoming to all. We do a lot of things for other people, among them restorative justice, and I know 100% that they would accept you with open arms and that you would have an adopted family to be a part of. That might be the first step. I am so sorry about your job difficulties! Here in the Twin Cities there are a couple of restaurants that offer ex-cons a chance...I know that's not entry level work, but it's a start at least. Of course not everyone is fortunate enough to live by a place that is progressive that way, and there are the logistics of getting there each day if you don't have a vehicle. Not meaning to sugar coat it, because I'm sure it's extremely overwhelming! I feel for you, and I wish that things were better. I hope there aren't people who reoffend solely for this reason, which I'm sure there is, and really makes me think that we need to overhaul things in the US. Best wishes to you, and please let us know how you are doing! 

 
Silas Sydenham

Once again I beg to differ ::: God gave us free will, but that free will is limited by predestination.

http://www.theopedia.com/Predestination

But predestination must not be confused with the "TULIP" theology of the late and unlamented Fred Phelps and his ilk.

 
whitediamonds

I beg to differ ::: Freedom is given by God, and it is a free gift. But we must struggle to maintain the right to freedom.

We actually agree then, except for....
God, if one believes in God that is. He did not give us freedom, he gave us free will.

 
whitediamonds

I believe that there are different types of freedom. Physical, emotional, psychological, spiritual, financial, and others.

True, included in all those types of freedom, freedom is not free you have to fight/struggle/want for it. It is not going to just happen.

 
David92506

I believe that there are different types of freedom. Physical, emotional, psychological, spiritual, financial, and others.

 
Silas Sydenham

Freedom is not free, all mankind has to fight for freedom.

I beg to differ ::: Freedom is given by God, and it is a free gift. But we must struggle to maintain the right to freedom.

 
A Driver For Hire

[QUOTE=David92506;1156658]The OP wrote, [COLOR="#FF0000"]"I just get so very jealous when those around me are holding down stable jobs and are cruising through life as if it was second nature to them." [/COLOR] This just isn't true. There is so much suffering going on in life, even though you may not see it with those people who "cruise through life as it was second nature to them." I believe most all of us are prisoners and only a few are truly free. [COLOR="#FF0000"][B]Don't ever be jealous of other people because you have no idea what is going on behind closed doors.[/B][/COLOR] Never wish things were easier in life. [COLOR="#FF0000"]"Seriously....what is someone like me suppose to be doing on this earth?" [/COLOR] Now that you are physically free maybe the next step is to free your mind, free your soul.[/QUOTE]

Emphasis = mine.

So true. As a wise teenager I know often tells me - "Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about."

 
whitediamonds

Freedom is not free, all mankind has to fight for freedom.

 
David92506

The OP wrote, [COLOR="#FF0000"]"I just get so very jealous when those around me are holding down stable jobs and are cruising through life as if it was second nature to them." [/COLOR] This just isn't true. There is so much suffering going on in life, even though you may not see it with those people who "cruise through life as it was second nature to them." I believe most all of us are prisoners and only a few are truly free. Don't ever be jealous of other people because you have no idea what is going on behind closed doors. Never wish things were easier in life. [COLOR="#FF0000"]"Seriously....what is someone like me suppose to be doing on this earth?" [/COLOR] Now that you are physically free maybe the next step is to free your mind, free your soul.

 
whitediamonds

No process completely controlled by like minded individuals is going to end up unbiased. That is what drives hate.

 
natalieandjames

FOX SUCKS!!! Its Anti-Progressive drivel. CNN and MSNBC is more of the same.

 
whitediamonds

The Fox Network which is a broadcast entity distinctly different from the Fox News channel, does not have any affiliates or owned & operated station in Canada.

But, Fox Network programming is carried on cable & satelite providers in Canada thru several U.S. stations near the U.S. & Canada border.

Oh please Hate speech?

 
Silas Sydenham

Organisations for Prisoners - Australian Prison Foundation

 
Girl On Fire

Are there any ministerial organisations that you can turn to for support in your area Jono? Any groups that offer support for those in your situation. With you mentioning religion and seeming to be quite a serious believer, it might be the best route to try. Some offer counselling services on a one-to-one basis, group therapies, meet-and-greets for those who need to increase their social circle. And there could be activities you might like to get involved in. Outings, team oriented things, charitable work. They might also be able to help refer you to other organisations and services which help with ex-offenders, vulnerable individuals or just generally regular citizens who are finding it hard to cope with the various aspects of everyday life. Whatever your situation, you don't have to suffer alone. There is help out there.

 
ice

well said

 
Marjan Duijsens

Never been there never done that jono but I wish you all the luck you need to succeed in your further live.
Make it happen it's up to you.
Take care

 
gooddog

Hey jono: I've heard more than one story about guys that are in for 20 years, get out, do a crime, come right back in, for these very reasons you are stating.

The reason why I think freedom is better than incarceration even as its overwhelming nature bears down on you is that in the free world, you get to make choices. Even turning out a light when you want, going outside when you want, going for a walk. These are things that my incarcerated friends lose the freedoms for and see as completely amazing, if/when they get the chance to have it back.

I know someone who goes on trailer visits (real bed, real food for a few days then back to prison) and he says even that is completely overwhelming. The bed's too soft and he wants to hoard all the food.

You have to practice being free. Do you have any kind of practice, spiritual path, or self philosophy that you follow? I am one of the lucky ones who seemingly out here "has it all with ease" as it looks to you. It is neither "all" nor "with ease." Every day I must check that my feet are on an inner path because I feel the distractions, madness, violence, and difficulty of the world will absolutely overwhelm me.

It could be as simple as having a daily routine of taking care of yourself for a while until clarity returns to you. A commitment to your self.

I think that the people who seem to have a place, know their place in the free world... it's great, but it's still an illusion. A hurricane could come tomorrow and change that place from high to low. From secure to insecure. That's the truth of the nature of life. Life contains disatisfaction and suffering for us all it's just that some have a pretty wrapper in which to do their suffering, a bigger house, more acceptance.

Yes, it is very hard to be a man in society and be labeled a "failure" due to incarceration in the past, lack of employment, etc. I consider someone who goes into prison and then stays out of prison a success, not a failure. You have to use a measuring stick that is yours, not "them out there" because... they don't live in your skin.

Just some thoughts...

 
jona

NO WONDER WHY FORMER PRISONERS RE-OFFFEND ONCE THEY ARE FREE, THEY HAVE NOTHING OUT THERE TO LOOK FORWARD TO, WELL MOST ANYWAYS, ITS EASIER TO BREAK THE LAW THAN TOO AFFORD RENT EACH WEEK OR MONTH, ITS EASIER TO JUST TRY AND TAKE AND ENJOY AND THEN RETURN TO A PLACE WHERE YOU CAN HAVE TRHEE MEALS A DAY AND REAL ROOF OVER YOUR HEAD...

Sure, it's EASIER to break the law than to work for your rent. Be assured, not only for you or other ex-prisoners, but also for the rest of us.
Life isn't easy. It's up to you if you chose the easy way, break the law and harm others, or if you work your way back into society.

I wish you much strength and good luck.

 
Anonymous

NO WONDER WHY FORMER PRISONERS RE-OFFFEND ONCE THEY ARE FREE, THEY HAVE NOTHING OUT THERE TO LOOK FORWARD TO, WELL MOST ANYWAYS, ITS EASIER TO BREAK THE LAW THAN TOO AFFORD RENT EACH WEEK OR MONTH, ITS EASIER TO JUST TRY AND TAKE AND ENJOY AND THEN RETURN TO A PLACE WHERE YOU CAN HAVE TRHEE MEALS A DAY AND REAL ROOF OVER YOUR HEAD...IS EVERYONE WRITING THIS DOWN, THIS IS IMPORTANT, THIS IS WHY THE PRISON SYSTEM IS FAILING AND ALWAYS WILL, MOST PRISONERS ARE USING THE SYSTEM FOR THEMSELVES....GEE I WONDER IF I SHOULD RETURN TO PRISON AGAIN?????