Alright people, I need your help. Put of my 4 pals, I have this one...I try so hard to think of things to write to him about, but we have no common interests. Last year when I started writing, I didn't have a job, so I wrote endlessly about my daily activities. When I got a job, he began to complain he felt cast aside..as if I wasn't working 50 hours a week. Now there are little things to make me feel guilty..well I'll close here since I don't have any mail from you..type crap. I send at least one a week, he's just lonely. And then he's convinced we're perfect for each other...no possible way, he bores me and he's older than my parents, but whatever. He's always bringing up sexual things that I don't feel comfortable talking about and when he calls he says, well don't you want the old man?:( I feel bad, but his self esteem isn't my issue. Lastly, this had me steaming...I am only living where I am for another 6 weeks, then I am moving back down south..he had the nerve to tell me I need to hurry up and get another job while I am still here so that I can send him money for a fan and a radio..who am I Prison Claus? It's all just piled up..now how do you say to someone after a year..I'm sorry I can't do this?
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Simply tell him, just like you have here. I would point out to him that it has nothing to do with his age, but that he continues to find fault with you in several areas and friendship is about accepting people as they are. He continues to bring up sexual issues when you have told him you are only a friend and have no other interests.
I would tell him that you are making some life changes and that considering the above facts that you feel he would be happier with a different penpal.
I had to end a penpal relationship for his critical personality. I became a penpal to hopefully cheer someone up but will not be used as a door mat so they can feel better.
You deserve better!!
Or you could accidentally forget to tell him your new address??!! OMG i am sooo evil!! xx
I agree BE UP FRONT treat him as you would want to be treated.
Thx guys, Silver, I did try to be up front before, I told him i didn't appreciate the lewd comments and suggestions of what he was "doing" with my pictures, ewww. I also said hey, I quit my job, we're moving, times are tight around here so I can't help you out right now, to which he responded if I really wanted to, I could get a job for the last 6 weeks I am here to get him a radio and a fan.
Ridgeway, I wouldn't normally suggest dropping a penpal, but in this case I do suggest it.
He's preying on your relative immaturity. This is not an insult to you, btw, you sound mature for your age. If he is older than your parents I'm guessing he's in his 40's or 50's. He's mistreating you, trying to take advantage of you because you are young. That's not cool at all.
Ridgeway, this is a tough situation to be in especially when your pp is refusing to accept the situation you've told him about your situation. Like Chicago, I wouldn't suggest you drop a pp, but sometimes its needed to be done. This sounds to me like this is 1 of those times when you need to drop this pp and move on with your life and not give him your new address when you move.
I agree with chicago, DROP HIM... he sounds like he needs a dose of having no penpal than he may appreciate the friendship that is offered and not take advantage of it :@ grrrrr
Just tell him flat out either on phone or by letter, this is not working for you and you are in different places in life. Hopefully he will respect that but if not, simply stop replying to letters and he should get the hint as I imagine he wont want to waste stamps.
write him a letter telling him that you are really doing your best, that you are working now, and that you have other pals who also demand your time as well as personal demands, and that while you would like to continue writing you will simply not be able to send him letters every day (or how ever often you were) - he can either take it or leave it. don't give in to his guilt trips...
write him a letter telling him that you are really doing your best, that you are working now, and that you have other pals who also demand your time as well as personal demands, and that while you would like to continue writing you will simply not be able to send him letters every day (or how ever often you were) - he can either take it or leave it. don't give in to his guilt trips...