As everyone knows, I ended a correspondence with an inmate that was only talking to me for money and explicit photos. He ghosted me and I deleted his contact. I just received a call from the same facility and the inmate name was a completely different guy! So he gave away my number! I am so annoyed, not even angry. It’s laughable. I blocked the number, of course. Does any call from the facility get blocked or just from certain inmates? I don’t want anyone from there calling me! Has this happened to anyone else?
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Hope things are much better now, Opally.
I don’t get what it is with the photo thing, but that gets so annoying and out of control with people, and you’ll never hear the end of it. Money is probably the same way with many people. Always taking and never giving back.
You did all the right things, sucks there are people like that in the world, but best to say goodbye and go meet the people who have a healthier friendship in mind!
I'm really sorry @Opally this has happened to you. You and your friendship, deserved to be respected, and this particular inmate did everything but that. I would contact the facility and tell them that you no longer want to be contacted by that particular inmate, and that you received a phone call from that facility but from a different individual that you did not give your phone number to. That should nip everything right then and there.
Oh, Opally, I totally get your annoyance. A situation like that is exactly why I have never given out my number. I will consider doing so with my closest pal at some point, but otherwise, no way. Not even all of my free world friends have my number, so you can see why I'm a little reluctant. Phone numbers are a more immediate form of contact that I don't want everyone I write to have, not just if in case things go south, but in general. Letters and even an email address (at a future time) are a-OK but you'd have to be as close to me as my longest pal is for me to even consider it, and I don't see that level of closeness happening with anyone else other than him (thusfar).
I suspect part of the reason this happens is because SOME inmates don't value privacy the way we on the outside do, because if you think about it, there's really not much privacy in prison. Everything they do, everywhere they go, everything they receive is monitored, so I really don't think some of them will think twice about passing info that is not theirs on. This does not excuse what he did though, I share your feeling, it's rude and inconsiderate. If he wanted to pass them on he should've done the right thing and asked you first.
In my mind, a person who will do that, you've dodged a bullet because if he doesn't even have enough respect for you to keep your info to himself, then what kind of friend would he be long term??? Not a very good one, friends that care about you won't spread your info around without your consent. I'm sorry you went through this.
Thanks everyone for your support. I really needed it and coming home from a packed day of classes makes me feel even better :) I haven't heard anything more yet so hopefully it's ended just as fast as it began. I just really wish I wasn't in this position, but I know that this happens to almost everybody one way or another and it's how I move forward that matters. I have no intention of stopping this pen-pal journey, so I hope I don't have any more bad seeds! Either way, your words are much appreciated and has me feeling more at ease now! It's so relieving to know that you guys understand how I feel.
ST4s : I love your word of advice ! I've been thinking about a very difficult period in my life lately and your word of advice is spot on, I should just let it go !
Opally, like other people have told you, it will probably die over pretty quickly. Please don't be hard on yourself, you did nothing wrong. I've only received two letters from unknown inmates who had gotten my info from other people and it can be upsetting to have your personnal info shared like it means nothing.
Oh man @Opally! Your post #1, annoyed and laughable sounds spot-on. Those jerks can go fuck themselves, and beyond that, you’re right - do not engage. They don’t deserve another moment of your time. School does.
Here’s hoping you kick some serious ass there! And enjoy yourself! And accomplish amazing things! And here’s a word of advice from a yellow motorcycle…it has a sticker on one of the rear-view mirrors that applies to many more things in life than just traffic. It reads: “Objects in mirror are rapidly getting smaller”
You GO girl!
Aww Opally :( Sending you hugs from Australia! It's awful that it has been making you cry and overwhelming you so much. I'm sure things will die down soon. The best thing you can do is just fade into the background and not interact with them in any way. The sooner they forget about you, the sooner they move onto harrassing someone else. Either way you look at it, sketchy shit is going on there and you shouldn't have to put up with that stuff.
Try not allow one bad experience prevent you from being open to good experiences and people in future. It can be hard, and it's important to learn from past mistakes and experiences - but we shouldn't let the past dictate our futures in a negative way.
Don't beat yourself up over it. You did nothing wrong. Be kind to yourself. Focus on school and I'm sure everything will work out fine :)
Hey Opally, sorry you're experiencing this! I have had my information given out by an inmate I no longer spoke to for the same reasons. I contacted the facility and notified them I no longer wished to be contacted by that inmate, and declined calls from the facillity. It died down quickly, but I completely understand where you're coming from because I was freaked out too.
Take a deep breath...in all likelihood this will blow over very quickly, and if it doesn't we are always here to help!
You’re right, @Galapagos. I just have a lot of anxiety right now because of the contents of the messages I’ve sent and the fact that my privacy isn’t being respected... I’ve had a couple people tell me it might be him calling to see why I deleted his contact and he can’t use his own phone calls because he doesn’t have any more time or money left, but I say: who cares? He can only call on specific days and this isn’t that day... I don’t know. It just makes me really paranoid and I’m thinking about changing my number. I’m never giving out that info (or any info!) ever again. I’ve learned my lesson... now I have to live with the consequences. I’m just paranoid and scared, hopefully this goes away... I’m so stressed because of school just starting and this doesn’t help. I’ve been crying like a baby. :(
That sounds like such an awful situation Opally. Sorry you're experiencing this. The guy sounds like bad news. I don't know about blocking calls from a facility or particular inmates. But I have had my details given away by a problemantic inmate/former penpal. Unfortunately, there will be a percentage of inmates who will always identify as being a criminal and therefore act like one the rest of their lives.