I thought about adding this to the holiday gifts topic, but thought I might as well make a fresh one since I have a more situation-specific question.
Pretty much, I just started writing inmates very recently: I have one WA pal who I've emailed back and forth a bit over the last two weeks or so and we get on pretty well. When I wasn't hearing back from him (I sent a letter by post and no surprise, it took a while to get through to him and for his response to get back to me), I also reached out to a guy in TX via JPay who I still haven't heard back from.
I'd like to do something nice for Christmas/the upcoming hols for these two, but I'm not sure what would be appropriate-- I'd planned on sending my WA pal a card (he said he always enjoys mail, and it seems a little extra seasonal cheer wouldn't hurt) and I'm having trouble figuring out what to do with the TX guy. It's been about two weeks since my initial email to him and radio silence.
My questions are twofold:
1) I don't feel like I know WA well enough to send money/gifts (if we keep on chatting and reach his birthday in the summer, I'll def get him a gift) but because the friendship is so new now it kind of feels weird-- is sending him just a card okay?
2) I was thinking about sending the TX guy a card too--like, hi, I haven't heard back from you yet, but hope you have a good holiday-- should I do this? My gut says yes, but I also don't know if he even wants to be pen pals yet and I wouldn't want to be too extra on the poor dude.
Any help is super appreciated! Next time, I swear I'll learn to choose pals not immediately before all the major holidays. xD;
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A card can never hurt. If you don't feel comfortable yet sending money or a book then dont, its not up to them, its up to you what you feel comfortable doing. That is until such time that things get more serious (if they ever do).
I had it the other way last summer. Recently had started writing to a guy and his bd was coming up. Back then, he got a bd letter and not anything else. For Christmas, I sent a letter, a season's card plus a little money for his commissary account.
Both (not sending money in July, sending a little amount now), feels appropriate.
Just let it develop and take it as it comes.
IMO a card wouldn’t hurt. (Make sure no glitter, no multiple pieces of cardboard or paper, nothing embossed, no foam, no stick out bits - think PLAIN with a white envelope if you can). But it’s up to you to decide how comfortable you are. I sent my IL pal a card for Christmas and thanksgiving along with $20 (we’ve been writing since Sept). I haven’t sent my Cali one anything extra and probably will not (we’ve been writing since August).
I just send cards for Christmas, there's nothing wrong with that. I send cards to all my pals. And I make customizable puzzles and whatnot along with it, a Christmas letter.
I will be sending a magazine subscription for Christmas and a book for birthday this year for my main PP but we have been writing 4 years and I trust he won't turn that into an expectation type thing.
Something to remember, for you and anyone else new who may come here, we are already doing alot of good by writing to them, so any gifts and whatever you choose to send is bonus. Don't give anything you're not truly wanting to, and don't give anything you can't afford to lose when it comes to money. Gifts are cool, but be careful with that, some people will take that and run with it, but others will appreciate it for what it is, a gift.
Okay, cool! Thanks so much for the help, everyone-- I think I'll just stick with cards for now and then see where things go later on. :) I'm a grad student, so money is a little tight but I'll definitely keep the option open for gifts in the future if things continue to go well.