Been writing to S for about five months. We hit it off well. In one of my last letters I told him how I felt about issues such as ad seg (used as long term punishment, hate it)discrimination and such. He fired back with how conservative he is!! How all of the perverts should be locked up like that and the punks ( you what they are) and rapers and so on. I told him that for me, regardless of the crime, the bottom line was that they are a human being with a soul, heart. While I do NOT condone any of those behaviors I am more of an advocate for meds and mental health help...not just locking them up untreated and released only to do the same crime again. He knew how I felt from the beginning. I haven't heard from him in over two weeks and he writes every week without fail. I may have pushed him away but so be it, right? What is the point of being someone I am not? My beliefs and values are mine and they are strong and make me ME.....just sayin'
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Your right theres no point in being someone your not just to satisfy the other persons needs or wants. He just may not have liked what you were saying but thats too bad...wouldnt this be a boring world if we all agreed with everything each other said. Hang in there you may get a letter where you can reply exactly what you have just said. This is what you believe in so why would you have to change that to suit anyone else?
You are quite right Fee...and I won't waver. My compassion is NOT a weakness as far as I am concerned, it is a good value to have. Prison has made him hard, you know....*****y and grumbly and he sure has his own views...some the same as mine but as I am finding out, not all.
Those sound like political issues, luvacat, and I think that our opinions are formed by our experiences in life. Even though I consider myself a liberal thinking person, it sounds like I may be in agreement with your PP. It is real easy to look at life through soft, fuzzy, rose tinted, glasses, and to think that society should take the "gentle" approach to those kinds of problems, if you have never run into anyone of that ilk. However, if you come from the "hard" side of the street, like I am assuming that your PP has, then he has seen how mean, cruel and vicious some of those people can be. He knows that they cannot be trusted and are unlikely to change. And so, he says, "Throw away the key", so to speak. He has "been there, done that" and he knows what a threat to the safety and wellbeing of everyone, they represent. I think that I would lean toward listening to the voice of experience.
If this becomes an insurmountable obstacle to your relationship, maybe you just shouldn't discuss politics. In the end, what does it matter? The powers that be (ie: society) is going to do what they want to do, anyway. If you enjoy your PP's letters, I wouldn't let this minor issue mar your relationship. Good luck and happy writing. :-)
Ive never been to Prison, but I kinda agree with him. An inmate who poses a threat to staff and/or other inmates needs to be kept away from the others.
I live in a country where we believe in mental help and treatments rather then punishment. That means you can actually commit a rape and be out on the streets again in 4-7 years. Fiddle with a kid? Hello freedom in 3 years.
So, the backside to your beliefs is that dangerous and violent criminals will be out on the streets.
luvacat: whether you believe this and he believes that is okay... we have friends in the free world that aren't like us and don't think and talk like us, right? I draw the line at abuse, personal attack, racial insults, in discussions. That's what it is- a discussion. I had this same thing happen to me with a pp. I am 100% against the death penalty and he is 100% for it. (Imagine that, a guy who could have gotten the DP, all for it!) It is because of what he sees in prison that disgusts him and makes him want to get rid of people that he feels contribute nothing to society. He is entitled to his opinion but the important thing to remember is that you are entitled to yours as well!! Don't let any one bullly you. I represent a certain view in this world and he represents another view. I'm not about to let anyone tell me I'm crap for my view but I guess that means I have to extend understanding to his view as well, again, as long as it isn't a personal attack. (been there, done that as you can ascertain, ha ha!)
I really dislike it when people are SO adamant about stuff that's political or religious that there's no way to talk or be with them without an arugument or "I'm right you're wrong" kind of feeling. As long as you can discuss things with him like you would with anyone and it isn't negative for you, then maybe it's just talking for him?
My pp wrote a 4 page diatribe on DP support and how he would reform the prisons, etc, with no ounce of humanity within any of the pages. I felt no problem writing back 'I strongly disagree' but the next letter we could talk about something else entirely, and it's ok! The main thing I am here for with people is humanity, as in, talking or having discussions makes you feel human- even if they don't agree with me! I'm sure it's apprciated to have someone from the outside listen to him.
I suspect this is not the reason you haven't heard from your pp. I think it would take something bigger than a political divide for them to give up a hand extended in friendship, but maybe I'm wrong about this. You'll probably find the culprit was lack of stamps or lockdown or something.
But when it comes to child molesters and rapists, they are all conservative in that regard. They live with these guys and find them repulsive. That's more the bottom line than real politics I think.
LUVACAT I am sorry to hear that it seems communication is broken because you might have differing views.
I am often accused of being a "bleeding heart liberal" because of my work on inmate advocacy issues. When in reality I am rather conservative in many ways. I disagree with most people who call themselves conservatives, whom I believe are really NeoCons, because I think that true conservatives believe that the best programs are those that work and prevent recidivism.
Unfortunately with some of the current mindset of so called conservatives of locking people up and throwing away the key, or locking people up and only punishing them with no efforts at reforming or changing the mentality or behavior of the prisoner are not working.
Simple statistics prove that education and dealing with addictions and mental illness with prisoners is far more cost effective in the long run because such programs cut recidivism in half or more. Anytime someones life can be turned around and they do not re-offend it saves all the taxpayers money over the long haul and that in my opinion is the true conservative viewpoint.
Two of my friends Chuck Colson (Prison Fellowship and former Aide to Republican President) and Pat Nolan (Justice Fellowship and former ranking Republican in the California State Senate) clearly promote prison reform with education and other programs that change the lives of those inside prisons and the statistics for the programs they administer are indisputable.
In my opinion, locking people up and throwing away the key or simply locking them up and babysitting them for X number of years and then kicking them out never works and never has. Especially when they are kicked out the door with little to know resources or training and forced to parole back to where they got into trouble in the first place. What else can we expect with that system except a re-offense rate approximating 80% within three years.
On the other hand, I agree that there is a small percentage of inmates who should be locked up forever such as pedophiles and serial rapists and mass murderers, I might also include permanent confinement for some mentally ill because when they are on the streets they do not take their medication and become problems again. But I would not withhold medication for them inside.
The sad fact is that the current system is failing miserably and unless we change it, it will continue to cost us all more money in this Country and in my opinion that is not a true conservative approach.
That is my humble opinion.
It's not a weakness at all, keep that heart bleeding :D. I think that, maybe 70% of inmates punishments are justified, but then there's that extra 30%, the really dehumanizing, psychological warfare stuff thats brought on because society hates these people and wants to be cruel to them. Yes all measures should be taken to protect society, staff and other inmates and that has to remain the top priority, but where exactly does depriving a person of bright colours by design and housing them in a cell with grey walls and no windows factor into protecting people? I think there's this attitude that any punishment/deprivation that a prison wants to dole out is a-ok just because these people are criminals.
I'm sure its really psychologically satisfying to throw someone into a hole and throw away the key, but it doesn't help anything. Besides if we treat them like they're lives are worth nothing, they'll think less of taking someone elses or doing something to further screw up their own.
You got that right, crabbie. (can I call you crabbie, lol!)
My friend once told me he did some of the things he did because he felt he had no future, so, why bother trying? Great thing to foster to "rehabilitate" people. (not!)
It doesn't sound like he's the penpal you're looking for then. Their are several out there so I'd move on to someone else to write to that will understand how you feel and not get mad.
BUT I would rather see these people receive help before they are released vs. getting out anyway with no intervention. If only half of them continue on with therapy or whatever their help it, then it will be safer for our kids and women. Any type of help is better than zero and that is what many will get and they will be released eventually.
No no am not mad!! I cannot be mad just because we differ on some things!! I got a letter yesterday and he is fine! No mention of any issues we had discussed. He even thanked me for being there for him when he really needs a good ear.
Like gooddog said above, it is a discussion. Hell if we all agreed, life would be BORING!