I have found myself in the position of having to defend my decision to find and write to an inmate. I have kept this decision to myself during the past month or so that I have been researching the subject. I wanted to know exactly what was involved, how to go about doing it etc. etc. After visiting this site and reading all the info I could set my eyes on this past week I knew that my idea should become more than that, it should become a reality. I decided to share my idea with a few people and share with them my reasons for wanting to pp with an inmate. What I did NOT expect was the all the negative, ignorant, narrow minded feedback!! WOW....oddly enough the person I most expected to recoil in horror to pp'ing was the most supportive!! Mostly the replies I heard were about the same "they are there for a good reason and they deserve exactly wha they get in prison, even if that means the "chair" "the juice". Ok, I see where you are coming from, yeah some of these people do deserve nothing more than the bare essentials to stay alive; food, water and the like. BUT...I put this question to those nay sayers "do my letters stop the offenders from receiving their just due while in prison"? NO NO NO...they will still be locked in a small cement cell almost all day, they will still eat s*** three times daily for meals, they will still be deprived of seeing their loved ones, they will still be sodomized, they will still be stabbed by other inmates, in short, they will still be miserable with lots of time to think about their crime. Also I pointed this out: I have done many many things in my forty eight years of life, if caught, that would have sent me to prison too if I were caught!! I have broken some of the ten commandments (I am Catholic) so in God's eyes I am no less perfect than alot of the inmates, but by the grace of God go I. Had I been caught doing some of the things I have done I would definitely be doing 25 years!!! No, I haven't killed anyone if you are wondering! But the point is, I am no different than many of the people locked up behind bars and by damn, I have the God given right to share a hand written letter with someone alot less lucky than myself! I am not talking about serial murderers or the criminally insane or pedophiles and the like. Why is that folks hear the word LWOP or in prison, period, means that the offender is a murderer or some really hideous less-than-human thing? Has anyone ever heard of crimes of passion or perhaps a lady who kills her husband after years of beatings and rapes....or how about someone like you and me who falls asleep at the wheel and kills someone accidently??? Like you and I, just a regular person? Or the youthful offender who screws up by selling dope (maybe lots of it) and gets locked up for thrity five years? Or how about the three strikes law?? Which in many many cases is absolute bulls***...considering the nature of their crimes,,,but hey, one plus one plus one equals life in prison. So yeah, I found myself defending my decision. But I had the tools to work with, a good heart, compassion, knowledge, faith, and the good old fashion desire to give back because of prayers answered (in big ways I might add) . They said I should give back by going to volunteer in a rape/crisis shelter or work with abused kids and all that stuff...well guess what? I do alot with supporting the issues I feel strongly about and guess what? I shall put pen in hand because THIS is now one of them!
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Sounds like you are a rescuer.. I hope once all the "excitment" of writing a prisoner and your charity work is done. you have the mental and emotional ability to be a long term writing..
i dont mean this in any neg way..
UKGAL has a point. It's good to be passionate about something, but it can overwhelm you. Your post, I have to say, kind of feeds those nay-sayer's comments: you run out the usual cliches about being in a concrete cell 24/7 and the prospect of rape, when these things are not the norm now for the majority of inmates in the US. Since the Ruiz case in Texas, the way that prisons are run has changed drastically, and many other states were never that bad to begin with. Generally, it is the inmate's behaviour while they are incarcerated that dictates how severe the conditions become for them.
When defending your decision in the future, you may want to focus more on the positive activities than most inmates do now, like getting a good education (which is not free), or volunteering in the prison hospice on top of their normal working day, just working 8 hours a day for 6 days a week with no pay but taking pride in what they do, learning a new trade to keep them out of prison when they are released, training dogs and horses for use in the community, or recording stories for their children so that they can still be a part of their lives from a distance. All these things, to me, are reasons to write to inmates and encourage them to not kick off and spend most of their sentence in the hole. You cannot save anyone, but you can spot the ones who are trying to save themselves, and they need the friendly support someone in the free world can give.
I think I once again lost the post I just typed out...here is another. I absolutely did use the fact that education and rehab are available to inmates..for sure. And I know prison situations are better BUT there are still "holes" for cells and sodomy against will does happen, period. I am wasting my time trying to explain my position to some people though. Anything worth having is worth fighting for...well, at least worth arguing over! I will indeed take your words seriously and thank you both for the info. I am a rescuer and make no apology for that..it has given me some VERY awesome rewards and I would like to think the same holds true for the "rescued"! I will not give up on my pp unless he/she goes beyond the boundries I will set straight up in the beginning (porno requests, money requests, sex talk that I find inappropriate etc.) Thanks for the feedback.
I agree, and yes I did use the info you suggested, education and rehab. I am indeed a rescuer at times and for that I make no apology..I have many many awesome experiences because of being this way and I would like to think that the "rescued" feels same. As for giving up on the pp...I doubt it! If it end it will be due to their lack of following my rules: requests for money, porn, sexual talk beyond the normal context say a joke, etc. etc. Anything worth having is worth fighting for...or at least arguing over with my friends!! LOL Thank you for your words, always happy to have them. I really don't feel as though I am any more a rescuer than anyone else on WAP because aren't we all? To diff degrees perhaps.?? Something to ponder friends
Sorry about the double entry ... urggg
There is a saying that I think would help you in your quest to defend yourself...
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
I've only told a few people, and when I've gotten negative feel back I've simply told 'em 'it's a personal choice and it doesn't concern you', usually the conversation stops there.
Good luck in your writing!
I've been there as well, I got the poo-throwing from people I thought would support me with every decision I'd make. People I've known for 20 years...I never talked to them about it anymore because I couldn't anyway, time changes because they do ask me now and again how the writing's going....I can't talk about it for hours though, but they finally accepted and opened their eyes this is who I am, this is something that also makes me happy, take it or leave it if you don't like it..that's my attitude