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Opally

I finally sent off my stack of first ever handwritten letters! One to my lifer pal to see how he’s doing and the others to potential new pen-pal friends. It feels so good holding a bunch of envelopes and then putting them inside the blue mailbox for pick-up. I can’t wait to see if any respond!

Thank you guys for encouraging me to write a letter instead of just use JPay. I’m so excited now. :)


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ShadeyBiz89

You bring up a good point there Cleo, I think intimacy of writing is partly based on content and that's something you just said that I never thought of earlier. Touche there. For sure if it works well for you, then I totally get it.

But, a big reason I prefer letters too is I enjoy the process of physically writing the letters, for me it relaxes me and also that I only write letters with my penfriends, emails I can do with anyone here in the world. I don't have the time or logical sense to write letters to people here because I'm around them and see them consistently, so I want to keep the connection unique. I've been fortunate in that my main pal is in AZ and does not have Jpay and nobody has really made a fuss about the fact that I'm not super eager about JPay, except my girl pal. It's funny, we've been writing a year, she asked me immediately on her first letter, I politely declined and said I need to get to know you more first before I commit to email, because to me email increases expectations and you don't want to do that with the wrong person... she dropped it for at least 6-8 months... now she's bringing it up again... I again reinforced that boundary... well, when you don't even write letters on a regular basis, I kinda know her but not as well as the pals who write regularly... we're probably to the point where we're gonna have to have a conversation about where things are, assuming she resurfaces again... the mail slowness though is not only her, her facility is notoriously terrible with mail...

But yes, enough about me, sorry Opally, not trying to hijack! 

 
Cleopatraaaa

I always thought that I’d prefer letters, but with one of my pen pals that we write multiple times a day, I definitely prefer JPay with him. His emails feel just as intimate as letters and the connection I have with him feels so much more intense than it does with my other two pen pals I write letters too. I mean, I love getting letters and we have also written a few letters to each other, but with me and him, there’s no difference between letters and Jpay to me anyway. I guess it depends on each individual :). 

 
Thucy82

I don't do JPay or e-mail either. One of the main reasons I started the inmate correspondence thing was to start getting mail again. Nothing compares to getting home from a busy workday, opening your mailbox and seeing that letter patiently waiting for you. I even started writing to a friend in France. We see each other when she's in Paris and talk on the phone every once in a while and text, but now we also write each other every once in a while. Like others have said, nothing can replace the contact one gets through mail ; writing a letter requires more time and careful thinking that typing away and clicking on "send" without thinking. And like others have said, there's this one aspect that is really important to me, the fact that the letter was once in the hands of my friend, then went all the way from the US to France ; I like that. 

Like you, I'm also going to send a bunch of lettres to potential pen-pals today (since my original pp has disappeared into thin air). 

 
Cleopatraaaa

@Opally Yay! I’m excited for you! I swear there’s nothing that will compare to receiving that first response in the mail! And the feeling doesn’t ever go away with each letter you receive. I’m still always so impatient, when I can, I still wait outside for them postie haha 

 
Opally

I feel like once I get at least one response, I'll be hooked and never want to use JPay ever again! I have one pen-pal that I write to on JPay, but he's probably the only one I'll email for right now.

@Shadey If she wants to potentially lose your friendship because of the type of mail you send, then you dodged a bullet. I get email is faster, but she also has to respect your decision.

 
ShadeyBiz89

 

Awesome Opally, fingers crossed for you that you get lots of great replies!

As you may remember from when I shared with you previously on anothet thread, I don't do JPay at all or any email for that matter... I like handwritten snail mail for what you guys say, it is alot more indepth, alot more personal... the girl who is trying to pressure me into JPay hasn't resurfaced yet... if she won't write me unless we do email, then I guess we're done then, I'm not doing it on her terms... I told her when we first started writing that I didn't want email and she left it alone for awhile and now it's a big problem... but her facility is also horrendously slow so it might not be that, who knows...

But what I love about snail mail is from one week to another it's like a crapshoot, you never know what will come when and it's SO exciting to find out! I just wrote a new penpal for the first time in ages and getting his reply in snail mail was a BEAUTIFUL thing!!! All the best with your new pals!

 
khadaura

Most of my pen pals and I switched to snail mail (but use JPay if it is something we REALLY need to say - like one of my pen pals got her 1 year sober chip). I am off grid and the mailbox is a 30 minute walk away, so I walk for the exercise AND the hope of getting a letter. I got 2 yesterday and basically skipped back to the house. A letter is so personal and my pen pals waste NO SPACE on the paper, so I get to read a lot. I have a few to send off this week as well, plus I can mail photos and they love photos. Also, not to sound creepy, but most letters have the pen pals scent to them. I have a great nose and could tell the pen pal just by opening the envelope.

I also love hand written letters because it is like the movies, I can hear their voice as I read the words since I have talked to all of them on the phone already.

 
Northernyank

I prefer letters to emails. The anticipation of receiving a letter in the mail, and sometimes the disappointment of not getting one. I love having a letter to hold, the feel of the paper, and knowing my husband once held this piece of paper. 

 
ST4s

Awesomeness!!! And now, get ready for some kick-ass snail mail in return! Here's hoping!

One of the things I love about snail mail is there isn't a meter running, like a beat-the-clock thing our friends on the inside have to contend with (unless they have a tablet). Comparing letters to emails? There is no comparison. Letters get so much more in-depth. That's the true pleasure of connecting - for me anyway. Then there's the whole tactile thing, that these leaves of paper found their way from my friend's hands to mine. And get ready for another new experience too - stalking the mailman! I swear, it's a thing. You'll love it and you'll hate it (but be careful, I hear it's a federal offense ;-)

 
Juventinean

Yay! I've been thinking of doing the same recently. Started out writing letters but have been using JPay for a while now and miss the excitement of handwritten correspondance. Hope you receive great replies :)