Hello all. I have been writing my PP for five months. He just recently asked for my phone number. He is supposed to call me this week and I'm very very nervous. Anyone have any advice on how not to sound like an idiot and how to keep the conversation flowing? I appreciate all your help!
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Lol, I asked the same question, and we get a lot people asking the same thing. Honestly, there is no advice as each phone call is different. Just relax, and enjoy it :) Thats all I can tell you. Seriously, I know you are nervous now but by the time you get off the phone to him, you will be itchy to hear from him again.
Oh and don't forget he is probably nervous too!
Don't worry. Once you start talking on the phone, everything flows so easily. If there's a moment of silence, just ask him about something you've been discussing in your letters. I get 15 minutes phone calls every week and they feel like it's only 5 minutes because they go so quickly. Enjoy your phone call!
All I can say is that the communication with my guy be it via letters...emails or phone....has shifted from being enough to just way not enough..not enough hrs in the day..... phone calls too short.....the time difference becomes a royal pain in the ......!
No one ever prepares you for what happens after that first letter...especially not after that first phone....my guy laughed at me as i was hitting the 5 button and proper swearing no idea he was listening....OMG....!!
What a cute post! I like to answer this because I believe that I was the most egregious dork that ever lived when I first started talking to mine. Wow. Don't be like me, do yourself a favor: realize, as was said, he's nervous too, and that you talking to him about your day is more exciting than what he's looking at day after day. It may not "click"... but it might. I'm glad my pp hung in with me to help me get over those first few times when I was just so tongue tied I couldn't speak. He picked up on my inability to communicate and filled in the blanks with crap like "so how's the weather" ha ha ha!!!
You should see us now! I'm like, "So, about your soul... let's talk about all your problems, in depth, till you want to scream." Ha ha ha!!!! It's good. He listens to me too.
Enjoy. But give it time. It might take a while to achieve "coolness"... it did with me.
oh totally for the coolness....i'm still waiting for mine to kick in....
Its usually that southern Texas accent and then the..."hey baby"....and im done..... and he's like you still there....? ha ha ha...it gets easier...as with the emails and letters and pictures going back and forth there is always loads to talk about...and annoyingly everytime he calls..my daughter mysteriously appears and want to say hello and howx the 8 pack going blah blah....he loves it...lol....
All I can say is it does get a little easier..a little better.... expect the odd occasion he calls me at like midnight..and I'm like..huh..who..where...oh heeeeeey!! Ok I'm awake.....
I loooooooove this topic. So nice to read all your experiences :D Brings a smile to my face
About the kid thing: it never ceases to amaze me that I just spent 5 hours straight with my kids or giving and doing all for them, and then, if I wanna go talk to my pp- MULTIPLE interruptions will happen. Like more at that time than with ANY other person I ever talk to on the phone. He gets a HUGE kick out if though because it always sounds like this:
Kid: Can I have...(fill in blank- could be icecream, candy, TV, computer games, money, new skirt from H and M... you name it)
Me: (without even considering request being fulfilled) No, but you can go clean your room/ do your homework/empty the dishwasher
OR
Kid: Can I have....(same as above)
Me: Did you do what I asked you to do? No, you didn't. Go do it now or nothing else happens in your life till it's done.
I swear to god, my pp thinks it's HILARIOUS and calls me a "CO" and I'm like, yeah, I'm a great CO as long as they're all shorter than me but other than that, no thanks to that job, ha ha ha!!!! He wishes the kids would come and quack in the background more because he thinks it's total comedy, which it is, but I'm a bit more selfish and go NOOOOOOOO I just talked to you for 5 flipping hours can you let me have 20 minutes on the phone PLEASE? Lord have mercy. They're not even that young anymore and they STILL do it to me!!!!! It's like they have radar about it...oops, time to go ask for stuff, she's on the phone!
Thank you all. I will do my best to relax. I will also have a brown paper bag close just in case I hyper-ventilate! :)
Have some smelling salts on standby too just in case! lol. Have fun with your first call. :-)
I agree with the thought that your pp is nervouse or anxious too on the phone. Believe me most prisons do not hae their inmate phones in a private location. Lots of times there are out near the CO station so the guards can monitor what is happening. Not real conducive for conversation flow. So my advice is to relax and let the conversation flow. If you've been writing them for any length of time you have built up a lot of things to talk about. I know I enjoyed the simple pleasure of hearing her voice on the phone, what we talked about was not of major importance, just that we were talking, sharing and enjoying time with each other no matter how brief that may be.
The one thing I found with calls is that they were always too short, even the first one. Always seemed to not get to say something I wanted to say because of time constraints. So calls were always, always looked forward to. Heck sometimes I would make notes on what I wanted to say just so I would not forget what I wanted to tell her or share with her. Cause in the heat of the moment, my mind would allow me to forget my own name!
So enjoy your call(s), I know that he will!
I use Freedomline.net I got a really good rate and with a referral code I received 300 free minutes. Plus every person you refer they will get 300 free mins and so will you. I haven't even needed to add more money to my account because I refer a lot of people and you could do the same. Check out the website and use referral code: 218020 If you decide to sign up.