Hello everyone !
I have a little question that has me a bit worried.
Being gay, I'd prefer to write to gay inmates so I used the sexuality filter and found the profiles of quite a few guys. I found it odd however that most of them were in Kentucky facilities ; at first I thought that maybe it was a scam, then thought that quite a few inmates are homophobic and couldn't see why guys would openly admit being gay, if they weren't already comfortable with the fact. I therefore decided to write to three guys, one in mid August, the other two this Sunday and they are all in Kentucky.
I did that without having looked at the forum topics, but browsing through it today, after all three letters had been mailed, I found a post advising not to write to gay inmates in this state, since it was probably a scam and remembered I had found it odd indeed that so many gay inmates were in the same state.
Does anyone know anything about it ? Thanks !
T.
Last post
It is a scam, yes. There's a thread about it somewhere. "Gay in Kentucky" or sth. like that.
Anyway, welcome to the forum, good luck and happy writing.
At least you do the maths (probability) and seem to be smart enough to see the red flags. *wink*
Hello, Kirsten and thanks for the reply !
Oh well, it's too late now, I've already sent the letters. I'll probably get three replies asking me for money and promising me marriage or something LOL. I'm trying to laugh about it, but it's not a good introduction to being penpals with inmates. :/ I guess I'll write to straight men only from now on.
[quote]Being gay, I'd prefer to write to gay inmates so I used the sexuality filter and found the profiles of quite a few guys. I found it odd however that most of them were in Kentucky facilities ; at first I thought that maybe it was a scam, then thought that quite a few inmates are homophobic and couldn't see why guys would openly admit being gay, if they weren't already comfortable with the fact. I therefore decided to write to three guys, one in mid August, the other two this Sunday and they are all in Kentucky.[/quote]
It's definitely a scam. Maybe there are a few gay men in Kentucky prisons, but not nearly that many. You ask why men would pretend to be gay if there are a lot of homophobic inmates. Well, the other inmates don't see these profiles; only free people do. So that risk isn't there.
We're not really sure what is the nature of the scam. Popular hypothesis is that they are looking for both gay men to support them, or straight women who tend to trust gay men more than straight men. A purportedly gay inmate could also play up the "homosexual trapped among a lot of dangerous homophobes" angle for pity and money.
You can write back to some of these guys, and you won't lose anything more than a little time and postage. But be on guard and don't send them any money. You could also search out gay men, but use the state filter and avoid Kentucky.
The reason it's so prevalent only in Kentucky is that scams and hustles in a prison system are kind of like viruses. Since each state runs its own prison system, prisoners from Kentucky don't generally end up in prisons in other states. They do commonly get transferred between prisons. So the scam spreads throughout the state prison system, but is contained within.
Hello Zarchery and thanks for the reply !
In the beginning, I didn't pay attention, because I only clicked on the profiles that interested me and I wrote to them, finding it amusing that they were both in the same state. But once the letters were sent I had a look at the profiles and observed how they were all in Kentucky and that's when I realised something was weird. That didn't get better, once I saw that post yesterday advising people not to write to "gay" inmates in KY, but the damage was already done.
To be honest, I was really cross about it yesterday, but I decided to write to two straight guys today. If the "gay" ones reply and by miracle are really gay and not looking to scam me, all the better. If they write back and start asking for money, I'll just "forget" to reply.
Again, thanks for the reply to both of you !
Thucy, I'm with Zarch on that one.
In my opinion you don't need to refrain from writing to gay guys - just aviod Kentucky. If someone claims being gay in TX or any other of these very conservative Bible Belt states (other then KT) he probably really is - and even in KT there might statistically be some. For them it's really poor because they get to hold the bag for the rest.
And really: Yes, there ARE ppl using other ppl. Those exist inside and outside of prison. And the rate might be higher among those on the inside - but I don't know it for sure. What I can say from my own experience from writing to 6 guys and still being in contact with 4.5 (.5 because of infrequency, I'm not sure whether it is a penpalship or not): Many are not.I had 1 in 6, that's ok for a rate.At least for my odds ratio.
And another thing: I aviod profiles where ppl claim to be all about sincerity and honesty. I just avoid them.
Those who have to emphasize it, aren't it. It's like a teen stomping her foot on the ground, stating: "I'm an adult!" Yeah, thank you. Simply by acting the way you do you show me you're not.
Those who really need and want someone to talk to /with won't brag on how cool or sincere or whatever they are. They don't play sonnyboy games.
Good luck,
Kirsten
Kirsten, didn’t you criticize my post? My guy is from Kentucky and here u are telling people to avoid Kentucky...
@ Kirsten, Worry not, I've met my share of people with... ahem, bad luck, who need you to do things for them ! I remember this girl I studied with, who was a bit of a procrastinator and had all sort of mysterious illnesses resulting in her having to ask us to give her all our student notes. Then, her teenage brother fell ill too, he had to have I don't know how many major surjeries, died, then came back from the dead, so, you know, she really needed us to help her with lecture notes etc etc.
I'm still in touch with her, she gives me news every once in a while. She was in the UK for a PhD and it looked as if she was getting her life together, but guess what, that evil witch of a research advisor persecuted her and harrassed her etc etc, so she's not in the UK anymore. It's amazing how unlucky she is and everybody is out to get her LOL.
Long story short, I hope I'm extremely lucky and the three gay guys I wrote to are really gay and genuine people. Somehow I doubt this will be the case, but whatever. It's only lost time and stamps. I didn't respond to "I'm so genuine, honest and sensitive", even if such statements are genuine, they just don't sit well with me.
It's shame there's this scam however, it really gives a bad reputation to the rest of guys.
@ gayguy2016, that guy seems shady, sorry to disappoint you. I hope I'm wrong, but the whole story seems far too strange to be good. RUN ! And if you visit the US, just don't visit him, but enjoy your stay there ! :)
@gayguy: I just said to Thucy that imo he need not stop writing to gay guys to avoid being scammed, but avoid KT to avoid being scammed.
Besides, as far as I know, the rules of this board state we aren't allowed to give the full names and details of inmates anyway in public threads.
@ Thucy: At least you seem to have got a good sense of humor and your head well on. Both can save one a lot of unwanted trouble at times. So, no, I'm not worried about you in the least.
[quote]Wow, thanks for this thread guys! I wrote 6 different inmates on September 8 (2 gay 4 straight) and I only got one response from the gay man in Kentucky who wrote me a two-page letter and another letter dedicated to the benefits of Jpay and also a printout of instructions for Jpay that had highlighted and circled steps on it. It was dated September 11. I was feeling bad about not responding because I just had a weird feeling about it because he said his Mom died and he had no one left in the world, which seemed like the perfect thing to say to get someone to feel sorry for him. I guess I won't be replying and will direct my efforts elsewhere. Thank you![/quote]
Wow. That guy was really laying it on thick. I think scammers are usually more subtle. I had one woman who just kept saying she wished she had a tablet while using her good looks to entice men.
hey guys, thanks for this thread!!! i´m toally new to this whole thing a still have a whole bunch of open questions!!!! i´m pretty much in the same situation as thucy82, i wrote to 5 guys and one of them were from KT.
i really like the idea of having a inmate pp for a lot of reasons. i put a few thoughts into it, but i not quite sure how to tell how is real and how´s not. i was thinking about to open a thread with a of my open issues, is that a good idea or is it just all been said befor a 1000 times?
thanks for your support
Yes, things have been asked before a thousand times : ) But since this forum lost it's search box it's not easy to dig through previous topics to find answers. So please feel free to open a new thread!
Welcome to the forum!
I recently wrote to three guys in KY and am exchanging emails with them all at least once a week. They all seem lovely and genuine about their struggles, but interestingly, all three of them tell me that they are actually bisexual. One said he "wasn't getting any response from wap.com" with his bi ad, so changed it to gay, (I didn't really question him why he thought this would improve things) the second claims he didn't put his sexual orinentation on the form at all, and is actually bi, so the "gay" part on his profile is a mistake. The third just said after my response that he was happy I didn't have a problem with him being bi. They all seem way too obsessed with their orientation if you ask me! LOL! ..but I guess there's not a whole lot of material for them to draw on for conversation from the inside..? In any case, I really vlue hearing from all my guys and am enjoying developing the friendships with them! Thank you, Adam!! :-)
It's either a scam, or there is something in the water in Kentucky! I just did a WAP search of Kentucky and found 95 gay male inmates, and 26 bisexual male inmates. Texas only had a total of 57 combined. Having said that, there are still gay inmates in Kentucky on WAP. (One of my hobbies is looking up crimes of inmates on pen pal sites.) One guy on this site, and his male partner, cut the throat of a drag queen then buried him in the basement of their house. There was quite alot in the press about the murder. I suppose he is "really" gay and looking for a pen pal. He is in the not receiving mail section here.
The reason might also be that there is a "datingsite" called hotprisonpals.com. The prisoners you can correspond with here, are strangely enough all from Kentucky. The site is humoristic - perhaps a bit of a joke, and it has profiles dating up to 4 years back. The prisoners often describe themselves as alphamales who seek submissive gay guys. Yeah right!
If you're not looking for a relationship, why does it matter what sexual preference someone has?
Hi sunrays's wench!
None. But the main goal of these fake gay Kentucky profiles is to scam gay men for money, counting on their solidarity, soft heart and generosity. The inmates think they can get more sympathy, because it's hard to be gay inside the walls. And that is not the idea of a penpal site, which should be mainly advice, moral support and exchange of thoughts. Not a money machine.
Besides the scam has the risk of miscrediting the profiles of the real gay men.
I'm well aware of the antics of Kentucky inmates, they've been doing it for years. Its only a scam if you give them the money.
@Thucy82.. I’d really like to have a one off conversation with you about this. Do you know of anyway to PM someone on here? I’m new to all of this
@Littlebear, I don't think there's a private messaging option on this website anymore. But feel free to ask away about it here, if you feel like it.
In any case, I've stayed clear of "gay" inmates, especially the ones in Kentucky. It was frustrating in the beginning, as I'm not keen on corresponding with women, but there are some straight guys willing to write other men and I'm having a really good conversation with them. But I found them on prisoninmates dot com, on this site you can see who they want to write to, men and/or women.
Why did they remove the pm option btw? Also, this site seems much more quiet then it was some 4 years back. What gives?
The forum was "updated" this summer. Many ppl (myself included) do not necessarily see it as an update, but as an immense decrease of userfriendliness. There were also lots of things going wrong, like, "nneds mail list" not working correctly, etc.
Personally, I had to re-register and everything I'd written (about 200 posts) is completely gone.
I noticed the large number of men from Kentucky who said "gay" for sexual orientation. It was super obvious that something was up. Sorry to hear about the running scams issue, but as someone else said, it is part of life. I just have clear boundaries and a healthy sense of centering before making decisions (as in, you can't let someone pull at the heartstrings when making a decision).
Interestingly enough, I recently started writing to a bisexual inmate from Kentucky. We correspond daily and he 'seems' genuine so far. Hasn't asked me for money or anything. I told him that my ex-wife is a prison guard and warned me about inmates trying to scam gay men, so he knows that I'm aware of this scam. Not sure how to find out if he's for real or not. I really enjoy talking to him and I would message him if he were straight too, so if he's lying about being bi, it's not going to get him anywhere with me. The only thing I've sent him is a few stamps on JPay so he could respond to me.
I actually wrote to a gay inmate (IL) starting in 2014 who was a great correspondent and never asked me for a dime. After a few months I began to suspect that he really wasn't gay since he never asked me about my life or the LGBT communuty, etc. I never asked him anything about his sexual orientation. After a full year all of a sudden he confessed in a letter to me very apologetically that he really was straight. No surprise there I told him, LOL Anyway he had listed himself as gay in his profile here, because he didn't want women writing him for romantic reasons, as he had problems with this in the past! Anways we still write pretty regularly.
Looking to make contact with anyone who has been corresponding with Nathan Richardson 237405 or Joshua Oliver 21152, both currently at Kentucky State Penitentiary. This is related to possible penpal scam.
***********************
* Sticking Together *
***********************
I think we should have a "Wall of Shame" posting where everyone can post the Inmate contact information and why we think they are a scam. If we stick together we can protect each other and put an end to these Inmates in KY who post on WriteAPrisoner or HotPrisonPals or any other site to scam not only Gay people but people in general. For example, here's the 1st Inmate I'm nominating to be posted on our "Wall of Shame" and reason why:
State: KY
Inmate: Dustin Crum
DOC#: 250567
Why do I suspect he is a Scamer: (Copy & Paste of JPAY Message I received)
shit the things i would like for you to do to me but if some one cant help me why im in here than i dont think i need them . im sitting in here with nothing not even a pair of sweats or shoes i am looking for some one to look out for me so if you want me you got to atleast send me 30$ a month to get the things i need in here i can tell you right now the things you was saying sound fun and my kinda of thing so let me know whats up i told you i have no one on the outside. alot of people want me but they dont want to help me. so why should i stick around
Original Ad: http://www.hotprisonpals.com/dustin_crum.html
My name is Dustin Crum. I'm 27 years old, stand 5'4" , weigh 145 lbs., Muscular, and have red hair and blue eyes. I love to work out , so I am a big fit dude who is cut up. Gay, so looking for a male to write to.
BigD, I look at that Original Ad and see someone who has nothing to offer but his alleged phisique and alleged gayness, fishing for someone who is looking for pretty much that as a starting point for a relationship. It doesn't strike me as being someone seeking an authentic personal connection for the sake of a connection. To me the ad isn't really deceptive, and the follow up to it in your exchange does not surprise me.
I guess it depends on how carefully you want to read these profiles. I tend to pay at least as much attention to what is not said, as to what is said, and how what is said is said.
I'm not sure how I feel about putting up a wall of shame for these people, although I can understand the sentiment behind wanting to do so. That is fine, but I personally think it's more effective to protect yourself from getting hurt or scammed by reading the signs that are often found in these "fake" trap profiles, and being alert to all potential signs going in.
Thanks to my persistence, I was able to get the Jpay fixed in his dorm. Besides that, everything is as good as can be expected. They have canceled all his classes which is frustrating because he was in three different classes and was doing well. I still worry that any day now, they are going to go on full lockdown. All it will take is one prisoner or CO to catch the virus. Things between me and him are good, as always. It's so hard to be so far away from him during this virus crisis. I just tell myself to take it one day at a time. If I make it through today, I consider that a victory.
Hang in there Romalotti6. I know exactly what you're going through. All we can do is just keep writing to our loved ones and hoping for the best.
His mom actually did write to the governor already. I considered doing so, but I felt like 'I've been his pen pal for the past four months' wouldn't hold much weight. He technically has 17 years left on his sentence, although he is up for parole next year. Also, he is a repeat offender, which is why he got such a steep sentence this last time out. Still, I would write if I thought it would do any good at all. I don't really know what to say in the letter or if it would be beneficial to mention our romance.
He wasn't involved in any violent crimes. He is in jail for stealing two motor vehicles and evading police afterwards. The severity of his sentence was because he had been in a and out of jail many times. He'd get out and be on parole and then go right back in a few months later. He is up for parole in about a year from now. If me writing a letter to the governor would have any chance of helping him get released, I'd do it in a second.
If anyone is ever looking for an actually gay pen pal, my own pen pal has been looking for a guy to write to for years, mostly for the camaraderie. He's handsome and lovely and working on his masters degree, and does not as for money. He's one of my best friends but I would be happy to share him with you.
*ask
Ok now you have me interested , I would be happy to write to him ... what is he studying ?
About 8 years ago I wrote to a few KY inmates claiming to be gay. They were running scams because both said that the amount of letters I get from them would depend on how much I would send to them. After I got the letters I never repsonded. You are less likely to run into scammers from other states.
Oh yeah I know exactly who this person is! Him and his buddy Billy Auberry Ended up running a scam on me too.
It is true they pretend to be gay thinking gay men are desperate and they will tell you anything to get you to send money I know I met a guy on this sight by the name of Nathan Richardson and he has used me and lied to me for almost 5yrs he has a way of makin your heart metl he is pathological liar and has never been gay in his life. He kept tellin me he was gonna parole to my house well today he get approved for parole and never once put in a transfere hes will never hear from me in this lifetime because of his lies and usin I dont know how many people he is scum to the core.
Hey
I am looking exactly for a gay-penpal like this. If he is still interested into a new penpal (i am from Europe) let me know. Is it possible to write him a mail on WriteAPrisoner.com?
I would be very grateful fo find a gay-penpal who isn't just interested into money. I am looking for a longtime friendship per mail.
Just let me know :-)
Hey Zarchery
I wrote to two inmates from KY. One of them answer me by a two sheet letter. He seems very kind.
I hope he didn't asks me for money, maybe for stamps ant not more. He seems like a guy who really wants to build friendships and write letters. I got hope that he isn't one of these scammers. maybe we get an answer of the same guy.
Your comment make me hope to find a penpal as you did. Happy to hear that also honest gay-penpals exist. If you know an inmate let me know.
This thread made me a little sad.
I made a topic recently about a situation I had. I do not own a credit card at this moment, so I added some people on jpay to save their information and write them later on when I would be able to buy stamps. Two guys wrote to me because they saw I added them. I wanted to find a way to respond to them so the letter they had sent would not be unanswered. It turns out, both guys are from Kentucky.
I made it clear I am unemployed right now and currently not holding a credit card, so I suppose if they are scamming people they will not care to respond to me.
It's nice you answered both the guys who wrote to you. I've heard from one of my pen pals that he often finds a lot of names of strangers added to his JPay contact list, who never end up writing to him, and he has to make a special request to have those names removed in the end, so they don't use up all his available contact spaces. He always wonders why people add their names and then don't write, so good on you for not being one of those "mystery" contacts that shows up on someone's list without a follow up. I'm sure your mentioning that you're in a tight financial spot might ward off any potential scammer pp from taking further interest in you, but perhaps don't emphasize it too much in your initial letter to prisoners...just not to give them the impression you might be suspecting them of being scammers. Even if some are, many are not, Most are not, I'd hazard to guess. But they're all aware that they're under a blanket layer of suspicion simply for being in prison, and they're all well aware of the scamming that does happen all around them. I would imagine it's a touchy subject, just try to keep your caution for when someone's actually given you some cause to question their motivations. Good luck with your writing adventures, I hope you connect with some good pen pals.
I just checked the sheets (random)..
Gay inmates:
New Mexico - 1 / Michigan - 1 / Main - 0 / Maryland - 1 / New York - 0 / Kentucky - 58
Mine was from Kentuck as well..... hahaha. Oh dear. Luckily it has only been correspondence so far, with eyes wide open now. Thanks for the heads up guys.
Well I can only speak for myself and what I've gone through, so here it goes. I've been using writeaprisoner for a little over three years and I've met quite a few inmates. Before writing these men, I didn't come to the forums to see if fruading was taking place among inmates, and I wish I did. The first guy I met was an inmate in Kentucky. We talked through email and on the phone for 8 months, with him not asking for a dime. And the little things started to happen, he wanted me to call random people for him, ad talk to his lawyer for him. Then it turned into him asking for money for commissary, every other day. That's when I cut him off. I met another inmate a few months later from Kentucky as well. We corresponded for a year, and we made plans for him to move to my state once he gets out. Upon his release, I heard noth back from him for three months even though he had my number. After a Facebook search, come to find out he had gotten back with his girlfriend before prison, and had been writing multiple guys, and lying to them (a couple guys posted under his pics how they thought they weee in a relationship with him). Time went on and I gave wruteaprisoner,com a break until one day I wrote a guy in Idaho that didn't state his sexual preference. We hit it off and have been writing ever since, so let's hope third times a charm. Moral of the story, yes there seems to be a huge scam going on in Kentucky prisons. Those inmates know that gay guys love bad boys and will do any and give everything to be with them. So they lie like they are homosexuals, when in fact they are heterosexual males just looking for an opportunity to take you for all of your money. STAY SAFE guys and gals.
Well I can only speak for myself and what I've gone through, so here it goes. I've been using writeaprisoner for a little over three years and I've met quite a few inmates. Before writing these men, I didn't come to the forums to see if fruading was taking place among inmates, and I wish I did. The first guy I met was an inmate in Kentucky. We talked through email and on the phone for 8 months, with him not asking for a dime. And the little things started to happen, he wanted me to call random people for him, ad talk to his lawyer for him. Then it turned into him asking for money for commissary, every other day. That's when I cut him off. I met another inmate a few months later from Kentucky as well. We corresponded for a year, and we made plans for him to move to my state once he gets out. Upon his release, I heard noth back from him for three months even though he had my number. After a Facebook search, come to find out he had gotten back with his girlfriend before prison, and had been writing multiple guys, and lying to them (a couple guys posted under his pics how they thought they weee in a relationship with him). Time went on and I gave wruteaprisoner,com a break until one day I wrote a guy in Idaho that didn't state his sexual preference. We hit it off and have been writing ever since, so let's hope third times a charm. Moral of the story, yes there seems to be a huge scam going on in Kentucky prisons. Those inmates know that gay guys love bad boys and will do any and give everything to be with them. So they lie like they are homosexuals, when in fact they are heterosexual males just looking for an opportunity to take you for all of your money. STAY SAFE guys and gals.
Did you ever talk to a man named Kyle Cobb?
Hi Howard. Did you ever talk to a Kyle Cobb in Kentucky prison?
Has anyone been talking to anyone in Green River Correctional Complex last names Jones Sparks and Adkins
What was it you wanted to ask about this person
ADKINS-, yes. Other dude i never heard of. Started talking over a year ago and he disappeared. Never asked me for a dime. Suddenly has a family member email me about a year or so later and saying he's trying get in touch with me. SO i email and he says he had gotten additional time and he didnt want to get anyone's hopes up as far as being with him hence he stopped talking. Didn't ask for money again but kept asking me to commit to him and he'd stop talking to everyone else who emailed him. Got angry if i didnt email daily and if i didnt answer a call when i couldnt. He has phone time of his own so its not like i wasnht paying for it. Now hes gone agian been a week since i heard from him maybe more.
WINTERS - is another one to be on watch for in Kentucky. Had been chatting for three years and he somehow schmoozed me into sending him 50 bucks a week and i did so for almost 2 years. And when he told me he had gotten more time (i only said id send money until he was released in 2023) he flipped and told me to go F myself.
IN MY OPINION BE WARY OF BOTH OF THESE MEN!