I could sound so mean or not-I don't know but I'm asking this honestly. I saw a pp who is murder and I felt like talking with the guy, but I'm not sure... In fact that I don't judge them due to what they have done, it is their issue between the world and their inside. I just look at the victims' side, I mean they took someone's life and then we talk to them even though we could make them laugh or vice versa. We thought that they need to love, be happy etc. what about victims? I read an interview about a murder who has profiled this site; the victim's family said that they will never forgive the murder. So how can someone talk with the guy? I mean for me there is nothing but when I remember that words it makes me sad and uncomfortable, and It makes me stopped at the first /between two sides. -This issue doesn't relate with the guy I wanna talk with-. I just remember that issue when I want to write a murder. So have you ever thought that way or how did you feel if you have talked with murder? I truly do not judge anyone and do not want to sound mean. You could say that "then don't talk with murders" yes, but normally, there is no problem for me but whenever I wanna talk, the issue pops-up my mind and makes me uncomfortable or like makes me feel guilty... I dunno I'm confused. I create this topic to hear experiences of yours can make me feel well maybe or can change my view about that. Again, I'm sorry if I sound mean, this isn't what I want to do.
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I only write to murderers.
Yes, one of my penpals is having a murder 2nd degree sentence. It was his ad which made me write to him. And yes, we do have "talks". (If you consider letters "talking", that is). These talks are usually flowing very easily between the two of us, because we have some things in common & get along well.
As for the victim of the crime & the victim's family: I'd never expect them to write to him or forgive him (or the guy who shot and got a life without parole sentence). They have lost a family member & have to go to through their own grieving process. I don't know what they think & I can only try to imagine how they might feel. And in my opinion they have any right whatsoever to feel what they feel & to think what they think.
But, (also in my opinion), their sorrow doesn't get smaller and I don't see how they'd gain relief if anyone wasn't in contact with the guys who committed the murder. It won't bring their loved one back. Not for one minute, that life is gone and violently so.
The guys who committed the murder do have families, too. And I don't feel well in weighing one kind of sorrow against another. Pain is pain, regardless of who's suffering through it. Now you might say: "A family member visiting a grave is sth. else than a family member visiting someone in prison." Yes, you're right. It is sth. different.
But that pp I'm talking about has not been given a life sentence, so, if he doesn't do sth. in prison to add years to his sentence (which he didn't and I don't think he will), he'll be released sometime. This will still take years (whether he makes his earliest or maximum release date or sth. in between) & through the years he has been away a lot of ppl did already turn their back on him. Some did not, but many did. And if he's doing maximum, than he'll have had more years in prison than he had lived in the free world before. And sorry, I don't see how he should make it to be " a productive member of society", if nobody talked to him.
So, yes, I did talk to a murderer and I don't intend to stop it, while by no means justifying his crime.
I have no penpals that are murderers. The closest I have is someone who sold drugs to two people that killed them via overdose etc. To me, there is not much difference between that and cigarette companies. People are the only ones truly in control of what they put into their body, so if they knowingly put poison into their body and die as a result? Tragic, but heroin isn't a whole lot different to cigarettes in such circumstances - to me anyway.
I have written to two murderers however, they just never responded. Which I'm perfectly fine with.
A lot of people here (and in general) who write to prison penpals, often like the relative safety of them never being released, or at least having lengthy sentences - which perhaps plays a little part in the fact so many people write to murderers etc.
It's something I'm a little torn on. In one aspect, I try not be so judgemental, especially if I haven't walked in their shoes so to speak. In the other, if they're a murderer they have stripped someone of everything - like literally everything. Their ability to see a sunset, their hopes, dreams, memories, their most basic human rights. Gone. Never to be returned. It's then that I don't feel bad if the inmate is stripped of some of their human rights too - beyond just their freedom.
I've written to someone who's committed murder. I look at it like this. Their prison sentence is their punishment for the crime. There's no need for society to punish them more than that, that's not our 'job'. You will find that inmates with long sentences often use their time to reflect on what they did. They might feel bad and want to better themselves. I look for clues in their profile to see if they're already working on themselves (education, programs, helping other inmates). Many inmates will be released at some point, even the ones who've committed murder. I think it's good for people with long sentences to have contact with the outside world, someone other than their family. Someone who could support them on their path to becoming a better person. Someone who doesn't judge them for what they did, but for the person they've become.
Or as one inmate once put it: who would you rather have living next to you? The inmate who was able to work on themselves (through education, programs, job skills, rehabilitation, etc) or the inmate who didn't have all those opportunities?
You could have a positive influence on someone's life, especially if you're writing someone with a longer sentence...
if you desire to write him because you like there profile do it, some of the nicest people i ever met, where murderers.
just because they killed someone, don't make it "them" drugs make people do stupid things.
Thank you for all your shares! It helps me, and will helps people who feel the same with me!
My friend is incarcerated in Michigan ..forever..she is a domestic abuse survivor..she's incarcerated because she fought back, it was a kill or be killed situation