Hi all,
:approve: I am new at writing to prisoners. I am writing because someone explained how much of a difference it is for prisoners to receive mail from someone. So I have attempted to find someone to start a correspondence with. I have made two attempts to begin, yet I get stuck or stopped when the prisoners start talking on a more serious note...like asking me to visit them, or asking for money or speak about making a commitment with them. After the second card I get asked these types of questions. So my question is how do you keep these correspondence mutually friendly and polite. I do not want to hurt anyone's feelings or put false expectations in them, my intent is to just brighten their day. Or is it unrealistic to think that I can stay mutually kind and polite?
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November 22, 2009 - 2:21am
#1
Elekdink
Last post
Second card and asking for money,real fast.:badidea:
I wouldn't send him money or whatever,I would tell him and if he would stop writing so let him go.
Not all pps asking for money.
:welcomebluesign:
Welcome to WAP Elekdink!
Sunkist is right about the money thing. If at some point YOU felt like you wanted to help someone out, that's one thing, but you definitely need to be wary of people who ASK for money.
Now about the visits and commitment thing....I don't know who you wrote to, but some guys make their ads explicit that they are looking for a "relationship". Some say they are looking for friendship or maybe more. Perhaps you were picking the wrong type of ads?
In any case, everyone here will tell you to be honest with your pals about what you are willing to offer - friendship. And perhaps in the future when you take on new pals, you might want to make that abundantly, albeit politely clear.
Good luck!
Just remember you control the money, send it when and if you want. As far as visits, I think thats faily normal, some are indeed by themselves. I love visiting pen pals, dont go out of my way to do it thought.
I have one pp that has never asked for anything, I sent him $10 for Thanksgiving and you would have thought I sent a million. He called me (on his dime) and was extrememly grateful.
Well - I agree with all that was said before. I find it weird though that you're being asked for money at the second card - I'd say it depends on the inmate's living conditions, if he's indigent, has no income whatsoever, no family, then of course it might be hard for him to write to you. They need money to buy hygienic stuff, as for stamps, the indigents are given 5 stamp a month but I'm in Europe and I know it costs more to send overseas.
My pps haven't asked for anything, I gave 10$ to one just because it pleased [I]me[/I]. He was very surprised and grateful, and I gave it as gift not as an obligation.
I've read the ads several times, and I've been very clear in my first letter about my goal.
Just straighten the situation out - tell them what you're up to and what you're not, just be honest.
As for visiting them, it seems to me very natural - I mean they see you as a friend, and you do visit your friends, no ? And maybe it shows that this pp is very lonely and he just got really excited to have someone caring for him for once in his life.
Oh, and Christmas is coming - and it's a very tough period for our pps ! Make sure you send them cards if you can't offer anything else.
and Welcome to WAP !
A possible reason for the question regarding visits. Some prisons permit inmates to add people to their visitor list every 6 months. Perhaps this pp's sign up time is fast approaching.
thanks everyone for your experiences and help. I will be careful and thoroughly read ads before writing to another pen pal.
:welcomebluesign:
You might think about how you write your first introdunction letter. I find it better to state up front what I seek, who I am and what I will not do (find them lovers, money, do research, etc) I just write looking to friendship. I might get rejected because of what I will not do yet those that do write love the mail attention. I hope you enjoy your writing adventure!:wave2:
Hiya, welcome :-)
As Merril C said, be upfront from the very start. I only write to one friend, and right from the beginning I made sure he knew I only want a friend and I have a boyfriend, I take no bullsh*t and I'm a poor student!! and my friend just wanted a friend too!
He wanted someone he could live vicariously through, and he got it! lol
Sometimes when I write down my adventures I think "No way is anyone going to believe this" ( I went through a couple of crazy months during the summer, where all it seemed I did was go on holidays and to concerts and the pub!) it's amazing when you start documenting your life how interesting it seems.
So my advice would be, lay your cards down and see what happens. Just write about your everyday life as I said it will be hugely interesting to your pal, even your mundane saturday night out in the local will seem like some crazy night out if you start paying attention to detail! I'm like a sponge, I soak everything up and store it to send to my friend.
Good luck