HOTTIE from PA - thread that got deleted

your not talking about the greek one are you ?the one that had all that talent?

this would be the italian hottie, MC from PA - there were 100+ posts on him ... his pictures caused quite a buzz ...

oh why did you do that hon there was things said on there that were terrible ! i see it was not the one i was thinking about nothing bad was said in that one but the other..... oh my i feel really bad for anything i might have said the poor man thats the one stephie 44 posted and for what any of us might have said remember it ?its hard to forget

just tell me he wasnt insulted and flattered over all the attention then i will feel better !

I guess we learned our lesson folks dragonfly humbly bows to pepsilover now i see what you were trying to get across i feel sick

please know I was very careful about how much of the thread I sent ... I did not send all of it (I agree, it got way out of line). Dragon, no he was not insulted and of course, he was flattered. There were/are no ill intentions on my part ... there is, in my opinion, a lesson to be learned here ... something we will all benefit from.

Would one of the moderators that know which thread I'm writing about please contact me sometime this weekend? Thanks.

ok i feel a little better i'd address one of them ,yes they'd know .I bet the lesson is dont judge a book by its cover right?

that'd be the biggest one ...

... one word ... "ass-u-me"

lildebbie.... you've got mail.

lildebbie what were you trying to achieve by sending a censored thread about him?

what I "censored" were WAP screen names. I did not send the entire thread ... it kept on going long after I had printed it out. What was I trying to "achieve"? I was sending a letter to a man who is seeking friendship outside prison walls ... my honest intentions were to hopefully bring a smile to his face ... and a friend.

im lost whats ass u me ?lol

then if you were simply offering friendship etc then why sent a thread from wap?

"ass u me" = assume, there is a saying about making assumptions makes an ass out of u and me

duh i just got it assume lol

it's a saying ... when someone "assumes" something ... it makes an "ass" out "u" and "me" ... assume ...

hey its like 12:30 at night here i get it i get it

anyway what was his reaction what did he say?

i'm just in shock im not made at you but damn girl it questioned his sexuality and everything and that was at the begining of it. even if you did cross out the names the comments made were harsh

I was merely sharing what I thought to be flattering and humorous and it was taken as that ...

well hon if thats the case what is there to talk about to clear up ? doesnt sound like you need to clear anything up to me sounds like he took it well

it was inappropriate to send-censored or not and I really quesations the motives despite a safe defennse of the action.

... I'm stuck on stupid tonight -- I never meant for anything negative. ... I'm in over my head as far as "response" ...

i totally agree raingod, lildebbie did you even pause to consider what you were doing? and why start this thread? i still strugle to see your motivations

It goes beyond the thread being sent. What other threads are being sent? Do we all have to watch what we say, for fear someone is going to send something out that may not be appropriate fior an inmate to read? I feel like I was violated. You should have posted what you were going to do and give us the option of if we wanted our posts on there sent or not.

I never meant any disrespect to anyone ... I am so sorry ... I do not believe anyone needs to worry about what threads are being sent out ... this was a singled-handed incident of stupidity on my part.

Was he Greek or Italian? Im all confused now and maybe its a dif inmate...he had nice abs though if I recall (-: Why doesnt someone just write the poor man already! heheh

I fully DISAGREE on that thread being sent to this man, or anyone.
Especially since you did not have a friendship with this person before hand, how do you know how he would take it or did you even care? and like Squirell i question your motives too, and also what did you truly think would be gained from such an act?.
I read what most posted and how they joked about his looks and thought it kinda funny and had a few laughs but at who's expense? I personally didn't find it amusing, wondered what you'd all think if i had an ad up with my pic.
What you do not seem to realise is he does not have the true and full knowledge of what people were thinking because you CENSORED what you thought you should.
As far as sending any of my comments anywhere or even repeating them... i couldn't care less.
I am the same person here on WAP as i am anywhere else, so my opinions do not change with the company i may be in or keep.
I must say i am disapointed you did this.

I made a mistake ... sorry doesn't take away any offense that was taken ... but it's all i can extend. I will remove myself from any future threads.

I can clearly remember that thread. Lildebbie even mentioned in there that she might send the thread, so I don't understand why people are opposed to it all of a sudden. It's an open forum, you have to take into account that any other person could have sent this thread to him. Maybe next time people will be more careful and not judge a book by its cover. If you feel ashamed about that thread, then obviously you were saying things that were out of line. Just my thoughts.

I for one do feel badly about that thread being sent, for the simple fact is... i do not believe that it is a good representation of what WAP is all about.
I was not one of those that posted in the original thread, and therefore have nothing to be ashamed of. This does not stop me from having an opinion on what was said and done.

I don't think you can stop threads being send to inmates, because anyone could have sent it, even a familymember who checked out this site because he's got an ad on here.

I feel that you shouldn't get upset with sending threads, but be more concerned about the contents of the posts. Being aware that you can't write down everything - and this deleted thread was WAAAAAAY out of line. I have nothing to be ashamed of either. I even tried to nip in the bud, but people thought I was being a partypooper. Oh well... What goes around, comes around I guess. Anyway, in my opinion that deleted thread does represent the WAP of today. Also, I feel the guy should know what was said about him. He had no way to defend himself with people talking about him behind his back. Apparently now he's got a message for "us". Good for him!!!! I for one am very curious what he has to say :-)

Zosja, you missed the point of what I said completely. It's not that I have anything to be ashamed of what I said in the post, it's the fact that a thread that had no business being sent to a pp was sent. THERE IS A BIG DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MAYBE AND WILL. It is only COMMON COURTESY to tell other members they are sending a thread like that a to a pp. To support that type of thoughtless action is as damaging as the action itself.

zosja-
All i can say is shame on you, if you feel that way about wap-there are other forums you can join

I guess we have a difference of opinion then. I think you should be careful what you write, you feel that you could write anything, but keep things private (i.e. not send to inmates).

And people who posted in that thread are people who are still posting here today, so how does it not represent the WAP of today?

Both sides here have a point but just to say to the comment of "he had no way to defend himself" well just as you said anyone could send the thread to him as this is a open forum and website for family members to check out which is right but it was also his choice he took to put himself out there for the world to see and you take the good with the bad when you do something like that. There may have been harsh things said but I believe it was more in fun between the people posting and getting carried away with themself not really meant towards the person in general. If it was to be sent it should of been sent in full and that way he could of seen that for himself instead of just pieces of it. I am sure it was not sent out to be mean either I think her actions were harmless but live and learn I guess. Why waste time dwelling over such things. Oh well the guy got people pointing at him saying awesome body and he got the opposite. What else is there to expect when you post to the world? We all have our own likes and dislikes. Same as he will do when he receives pictures of women, he will share them with his buddies and they will poke fun at some and drool over others. We just will not read about it until they get a prison wap forum. Point is ~ I see something small being made into something big.

Oh, and I do think that lildebbie mentioned she was going to send that thread. I just worded it wrong when I said "might".

I think that's kind of sad if you think that was a good representation of the WAP of today.
I know several people here that have in my opinion great thoughts, knowledge and advice, that post selectively and chose not to participate in those kind of threads, me being one of them. And i honestly believe you cannot take one thread and suggest that it represents the full and true worth of those posters contribution to WAP.
If M.C does have any comments that he wishes you, lildebbie to share with us, then why are you with holding them?

As you know, we allow everyone a chance to voice their opinion on the forum as long it is expressed with tact and respect toward others. Lowering your comments to a level of personal remarks isn't necessary, isn't very respectful, and is a violation of the rules of conduct.

Now, on to the "deleted" thread. If some of you recall, I had indicated early on within the thread that it was a bit unfair to "gossip" about any one particular inmate. As I said then, it was clearly an example of bringing unwanted and unsolicited attention to a person who was unable to rebut anything that might have been said to/about him. When things started to get a bit out of hand, I deleted the thread for that very reason.

Later, I took some heat from the Webmaster, because a few select individuals chose to complain that I had gone on a "power trip" and had determined that I should "censor" comments made by others. I even received several emails blasting me personally. As it turned out, the Webmaster reviewed the thread and found my decision to be legitimate and justified. I didn't have any question about my judgment in the first place.

I have repeatedly said that, if you disagree with someone, then simply suffice it to say that you disagree. When you resort to argument (and in this case, accusation) you generally end up with egg on YOUR face.

Whether somebody copied a thread (edited, censored, or otherwise) and sent it on to the person about whom the thread discussed is of no consequence other than to the person who sent it, and the person who received it. This is STILL a public forum. If you don't want what you say repeated, don't post any comments. Accept the fact that what you DO say might not be forwarded to someone else completely in context (it might get edited by the person forwarding it).

You can't prevent this. It's been going on since the inception of this forum, and it will continue to happen as long as others have access to the forum, and feel a need to copy and forward the remarks made by others.

When the day is done, just try to participate without feeling it necessary to launch personal remarks or insults, in the form of argument, toward others on this forum.

Nothing like a nice introductory letter that includes incomplete postings of other members. (Insert Eye Roll Here) This whole print and send thing is the very reason I stopped posting regularly in the first place. I don't understand your intentions or outcome but more power to you. Personally I think it's kind of childish and kind of a pathetic way to "break the ice" but it's your dime your dancefloor and I would never tell people what to write..............then again you didn't write it. I'm happy to say I still feel like the voice of reason on that tread but I'm still shaking my head it would be mailed out to the guy. How can I feel comfortable writing him now...........darn (Insert Double Eye Roll Here.)

Goodness, what a thread to wake up to first thing in the morning. I’m only on my first cup of coffee, at that. Really, y’all, can these types of threads not wait until at least noon? :P

When it comes to posting threads and having said threads sent out for whomever to see, my thoughts are along the same lines as Zosja’s. They’re probably a couple thousand threads that I’ve posted in during my online lifetime and Lord only knows whose read them, much less printed them out and passed them on. As far as I can remember in the 5 or 6 six years I’ve been in online chat rooms, no one has ever asked my permission before printing out my thoughts, ideas, and bad jokes, and sending them ever farther out into the world. <Shrugs> I usually learn of this after the fact. I guess I have always thought that once I hit the ‘send” key, my verbiage no longer belongs to me and from that point forward I’m in no position to dictate how it’s going to be used. That’s the chance you take when you post in online forums.

Would I want to censor another’s actions by stopping them from printing and sending at will? Nah, probably not, for IMO, there's far more damage done by going that route than someone seeing me sometimes at my worst, whether it be a corny joke or perhaps an opinion of mine that I didn’t think through on that particular day.

On one level, Lildebbie may have done him a favor. At least someone who writes to and cares for inmates sent him that thread and took the care to cross out the worst. It could have just as easily been a lurker who has an axe to grind against inmates (or even a fellow WAPster, for that matter) who sent in the whole thread to the inmate in question, just to be vicious. Now, if he does get another version it, he’ll have seen it already and know in what spirit in which most of it was written and how to take it.

So, Lildebbie, I’m giving ya a break on this one, for I too, have said and done regrettable things in my life and so, understand your obvious and heartfelt chagrin. As far as I'm concerned, I say Go forth and sin against your fellow Wapster’s no more, (sign of the Cross.)

OK this is my final comment on this subject. I'll try to keep it perfectly clear so no one can misunderstand me, or take what I say out of context again. I have no problem with threads being sent to pp's. I've done it myself, b'day wishes, get well wishes, many of MO's posts-and God how I miss her wisdom on this-jokes, etc. But NEVER and I mean NEVER, would I send a thread to a pp thatwas obviously and clearly not written for a pp. If you all think it's okay to send these htreadsout without thought to the inmate or the posters, then there is something terribly wrong. I will not be part of that. I was raised to have respect, and practice common courtesy. I also have common sense as to what is APPROPRIATE and what IS NOT

I should have included in my presentation, pretty much what "raingod" said here. I happen to agree.

One cannot prevent another from copying, editing, and forwarding posts out of ANY public forum, but one MUST consider the consequences of doing that.

In life, you should always remember that everything you do has some sort of effect, however very little it might be, on someone other than you. And, in this case, on someone other than the sender and receiver.

Sending communications between others to a third party may not be preventable, in certain circumstances, as some people will do so anyway. However, as "raingod" so eloquently put it, you have to consider whether it's appropriate or not. Doing so is not much more than participating in gossip is it not ?

I think we also need to remember that "lildebbie" reconsidered what she had done, apologized for it, and humbled herself before all of you. Let's not beat her into submission when it isn't necessary.

Obviously we have no control over what lurkers may or may not print out. lildebbie posted she did so, therein allowing herself to be judged on her actions. People use the word judgment as if its a bad thing. We make judgments everyday, how else do you differentiate the good from the bad? I have printed out posts for inmates in the past, but NEVER would it even occur to me to print and post something that was so CLEARLY inappropriate to send a pp. And to start a thread over such dubious behaviour is merely inviting what has happened in the thread. Do people not have common sense any the power of discernment? If not God help the pp'ss they write. Call it a personal attack, I look at it as constructive criticism. I don't see thi8s as something we can learn from as a group-as to what is appropriate to post about, as some have said. I view it as a deliberate attempt to undermine the good of this forum, and a slap in the face to those who didn't envision having their comments sent out.
LAWDOG: Where is it stated on thie website that anything we write on the forums may be sent out to inmates? There is an intimation of privacy when we post our thoughts, and beliegs on here. Whether or not it's been going on is irrelevant, whether it's right or wrong is the question. I ask this in the forum LAWDOG because I think it is an answer that would benefit us all.

Scott

Scott, you're absolutely right in asking that question. I appreciate you giving me an opportunity to offer some clarification.

None of the content of the public forum is the property of any one individual or entity. Only that which is created by the Webmasters (elsewhere on the site) is considered to be "creatively licensed" and therefore, the property of the owners of the website.

There IS no written edict that informs those who post that their words might be copied and used elsewhere, whether it is sent to an inmate, posted on another forum, or e-mailed to your cousin Hannah in Topeka. The comments made on the OPEN FORUM (you'll notice that's what it is called, for a reason) are not considered to be copyrighted material, therefore, there is no legal requirement to inform. It is more a matter of "assumed risk" on the part of the poster. We can only control the entry of actual copyrighted material from other sources.

Internet Law is very complicated. Simply put, however, this situation is very similar to the "public view" doctrine. What this legal theory says is that, if you are out in public, you have no expectation of privacy. Posting on an OPEN FORUM, accessible to the general public, depletes your expectation of privacy, just as it would if you were at the local shopping mall.

Raingod,

I do understand your point of view. I was one of the few who pulled the brakes on the previous thread, because I felt it was inappropriate. I didn't see many other people who agreed with me? Anyway, I even advised lildebbie not to send the thread to this guy. I didn't think it would be a smart thing to do, because he might get the wrong impression. But the damage is done...

But who's in the wrong? People posting "funny" comments about someone or the one who sends the thread? I guess both sides are a little to blame for this mess? I merely stuck up for lildebbie, because I didn't think it was fair that she got all the blame. Like I said, anyone could have sent the thread, and none of this would have happened if the thread wasn't created in the first place.

I guess the (obvious) lesson learned is that we can't speak freely on a public forum...

<Shrugs> Meh, if nothing else has been pounded into my brain from my posting on this website for the past few months it’s that what I may view as inappropriate and offensive, others may not. What I may think and feel is just “common sense” and should merit further consideration of another’s feelings, a firmer stance, or a stronger punishment, others may feel otherwise. I’m not just musing about this particular conversation but I’m cutting across all levels of discussion here.

What came out of all of this for me personally? I find myself falling back on the same position every time I find myself in this quandary and that is I can only control myself – no one else. If I don’t wish to take the risk that a posting of mine may be utilized, (in my opinion) inappropriately then I don’t post it. I take responsibility for censoring myself, therefore, I don’t have to worry about someone else whose outlook on appropriateness, common sense, or offensiveness may or may not mesh with mine.

Nope, she wasn't the original poster of the previous thread. Stephanie was. Lildebbie didn't join the conversation until page 3 or 4. And other people even encouraged her to send the thread to the guy, so I can't blame her for going through with it.

Wow,....So many hurt feeling and I for one am embarresed for I posted on that thread also...nothing mean but just having fun at anothers expense. I clearly have learned a lesson here. I would like to start a thread and apologise to him and send that!! My what all the lurkers must think of us I am ashamed of myself!!