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Must read Terms of Service & Privacy Policy and be at least 18

 
bertha.jorkins
bertha.jorkins

This is my first post and I am new to having a PP. I did not find him through Write a Prisoner or any other similar service. I heard of his case elsewhere and I decided to just reach out to him as it touched my heart and hit close to home as far as the circumstances of his incarceration. So he answered me and we have written back and forth several times. After our first exchange he “got in trouble” and was transferred to a different facility. At that point I reached out to him after several weeks of not hearing back , just in case JPay had somehow not delivered my last reply to him. I just said-“just in case you did not receive my last message, and I don’t want to end things with you thinking that I ghosted you -since I initially reached out in the hopes of brightening your day and showing support” I basically just said no worries about not writing back if that wasn’t something he wanted. Especially since I reached out to him unsolicited but that I am always still available if he ever needs to talk or needs a friend. He did respond quickly with he was put under investigation and was abruptly transferred to a different facility. In the process his tablet was broken so now he is having to quickly use the kiosk. And he was sorry and things were difficult right now. I answered no need to apologize to me at all and that I was sorry things are extra hard, I am praying for him, and if he ever gets to that point where he would like to write, he should feel free to do so. So after about a month he reached back out. These messages are mostly him venting at unfair treatment. Which I totally get! And I told him that I would like to be a support to him however I can. Pretty much all of the questions about himself that I had asked weren’t really answered and I also added some things about myself. Just to be personable and I included a photo, which again were not mentioned in the return letters. But he had just gone through some traumatic stuff and was still reeling from being moved to a maximum security(he has since been moved back down to a mid)  So a few exchanges later I said something that I realized afterwards could totally be interpreted as a come on or flirting or whatever. I didn’t intentionally do it AT ALL but I’m not against it. I believe he is innocent (a whole other story) but the way his case sits now he won’t be getting out of prison in his lifetime. Things can change I know that and I would never say anything so hopeless to him-don’t worry 😊 but that is all to say that I am not writing him in order to have a relationship in the traditional sense. I am not after a marriage or bf/gf. Flirting I am cool with, innuendo-sure fine but that is not what I am setting out to do. I would like to be a support for him. So after I said what I said he responded much more enthusiastic and answered a few of my questions and said I am beautiful and thanks for the photo. So I get it. Some prisoners can be manipulative-just like those on the outside-have you been on a dating site lately? Yeesh!-so I am not like -oh he said I am beautiful now he is my boyfriend and we are in love” it told me he may be down for some flirty talk. I think that could be fun and I am cool with that. I do have boundaries and won’t go too far down that road, but fine. So I answer him and as I usually do in all of the letters I send, I interjected a personal anecdote/story at the end. UNINTENTIONALLY I think it came across as needy and like I am looking for a relationship. I guess you can see I don’t always think before I speak or write in this case. I just don’t always see the bigger meaning or double entendre right away. Anyways, my anecdote was about selfies. Which I kind of explained a little bit-he has been in prison since his teen years and he is 50 now. He missed a lot. But then I equated it to dating sites (he already knows I am divorced). I said I hate taking my own picture and I hate selfies but I’ve had to get used to it because that is the culture now. Then I explained the whole concept behind dating sites and that I don’t like them either and that is why I am single. I had told him how the kids nowadays are always taking selfies with their tongues out. (I am old I guess) so to be funny I included a selfie with my tongue out as my “gift to him” hahahaha *sarcasm*. I realize now that sarcasm doesn’t always transfer in letter format. Even when you say “gift” and hahaha after. (Plus I had just said I hate taking selfies). 🙄 Soooo…super long story short. I haven’t heard back from him as quickly as I have the last several weeks. A) it really hasn’t been THAT long B) he doesn’t have his new tablet and is having to use the kiosk. So I’m not full on panicking that I have been ghosted or anything. Plus what I told him is true. I want to be a support and if he chooses not to write, it is his decision. I would feel sad to just be ghosted but it happens. I am mature enough and been around the block enough to know that. What I am worried about is that he took my reference to dating sites and my selfie with my tongue out the complete wrong way and he thinks that I am planning that we are BF/GF. I just don’t want to have ruined what could be a fun and meaningful friendship by just being ignorant of the bigger meaning of what I was saying and how it may be coming across. I am obviously going to wait, because writing from prison takes time for various reasons and it hasn’t been that long yet. But I just sort of have a bad feeling. Plus some embarrassment about my last letter. But if my bad feeling is correct should I reach out one last time and just say-I am sorry that my attempt at being funny may have come across in a way that I did not intend? Just because I am having fun talking to him and I have started looking forward to that JPay notification. Or at this point do I just let it lie? Sorry for the long post! Thank you for reading to the end of my novel!