So before I learned about the disproportionate number of inmates in Kentucky claiming to be gay for whatever reason, I e-mailed 5 inmates when I started. Of those five, two of them live in Kentucky and identify as gay. One of them actually wrote back to me. While he was very well-spoken and candid about prison, he did seem to imply he was looking for something romantic. While I am male and gay, I'm partnered and not looking for that kind of penpal relationship. I was curious and I did google him and found that he is most definitely not gay, having had relationships with women that resulted in a few kids. So how do I let him know that "I know" without making it awkward? I did respond to other parts of his letter that I found interesting/intriguing so I'm hoping the focus will be on those things. Ultimately, I wouldn't mind continuing to correspond with him if his future letters are like his first. But I don't want him to waste my time if he's just hoping to bait me into sending money. To anyone that has written to inmates that fit this description, how did it go and what did you do?
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I don't have personal experience with writing gay inmates in KY but let me put in my 2 cents. I've read the numerous warnings and what you describe looks like a red flag I would say. Many KY inmates are only 'gay-for-pay' and they often have airtight stories to lure you into their scam. Of course there are genuine guys too, but there's nothing wrong with being cautious. You can only be scammed if you agree to it; if he comes up with sob stories or starts talking lovey-dovey and hinting for a little money, and then for some more money, it's easy to understand what he's up to. Just don't send him any money, period. You could tell him 'I know' and then I guess he will either come up with a reasonable excuse why he converted to being gay in prison, or he knows he's busted and he will not write you again. Or you could leave that for now and see how it goes. You've exchanged only one letter? If you enjoy corresponding with him you can see how things develop, you don't need to brush him off immediately. If he's a scammer it will show soon enough.