Well, I haven't visited the board in a while, but I was hoping to find a little bit of reassurance here today, if anyone has any to offer.
I had to cut off writing to one of my penpals--the one I had posted about having trouble with a while back. The letters just got worse and worse, including him telling me that he was in love with me by about his fifth letter, hinting heavily that he wanted me to invite him to live with me after he was released, and other things that just made me plain uncomfortable. I asked him to stop, and he didn't, so I've finally sent out a letter today explaining to him that I can't write to him anymore, a decision reached with input from a few very close friends.
Anyways... Anyone else have any experiences like this? As much as I was ready to call an end to this penpalling a few weeks ago, I tried to stick it out. It just didn't work. Here's hoping my others don't go south, too.
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Hi armartell, I am so sorry I know how much that can hurt but you are better off finding someone that you are compatible with. There are a lot of good guys just waiting for you to write!
Cindy
be glad you find out now and now later, that is for sure, you just keep looking and you will find a good PP, and it will be good for you.
Hi amartell,
Don't feel bad. Some things just aren't meant to be. And you have a right to set the parameters of your relationships, which your PPs have got to respect. I hope that you don't get too discouraged and that the others work out OK.
Happy Writing. :-)
I have had a couple not work out but that's life. The others I have more than make up for it.
Has anyone been able to back off in a situation like that without completely ceasing communications ?
Here's how I feel about this experience: it's not about me, it's about the inmate. So I am willing to be forgiving of a lot of things I might normally not be. If I were in a situation like that, I'd like to think that I could get the guy to back off to something more comfortable rather than tell him I'm so uncomfortable I need to stop writing. But maybe it's not always possible ? I'm new to this, what do I know ? :-)
Hi armartel, I went through a similar thing recently with a pesky youngen who wanted to talk about a disgusting (Illegal) habit of his that I didnt want to hear about. I, like you, tried to gently tell him to stop and that I wasnt interested. This seemed to inspire him to be even more graphic, I think he thought he could bring me around. It got to the point where I had to cut him off completely (one sick puppy there!!!) and now I am so much better off, I didnt realise how much i was dreading his letters until they stopped :)
Having a PP is meant to be FUN and not hard work! We cannot let them take over our lives in a negative way, its not fair on us or the people around us.
Dont feel bad, dont feel guilty and dont feel disillusioned.There are many great pals out there, have another go!
Cheers
dreamer