Just the other day I received a letter from my pal who is on DR at San Quentin. He is now receiving my letters on a regular basis (finally!) and told me that his whole atmosphere has changed now that he's got a penfriend. It made me real happy to hear that.
I was thinking it would be nice to have a positive thread about how writing inmates indeed can make a real difference. Anyone else?
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I'm so happy for you that your effort is finally paying off! Must be a relief that he's receiving your letters regularly now.
My pp's haven't talked about lifechanging experiences, but it's always nice to hear a compliment on your behalf. One of my pp's was talking about me to his cellmate a few weeks ago. The cellmate didn't ask, he just talked :D So that was kinda cute to hear.
aaah that's nice penpal :)
Penpal, it is awesome to get a reply like that. :) We see (and read) so much negative crap on here, on tv, and in newspapers, and it is so good to see the other side of things. :) I wish we could spread more of that, to counteract all of the negativity.
I was just talking to my mom about this. Showed her the card I received today from my new PP and we talked about how ignorant people can be and also very selfish. Mom has been scammed by a dutch prisoner that she once wrote with, but it has never let her think bad about ALL prisoners in general. And she doesn't understand all the negativity on this subject. So yeah it's awesome to hear stories like this :D
In one of the 3 messages from my pp this morning, he thanked me for making him laugh. He feels so much better since we started writing, he says. Well, I feel better too, so it's definitely a win-win situation. :)
OH thats so nice j talked about me to his cell mate in fact i got a letter from his best friend saying please dont let him down :)
Oh my gosh, I'm all over this!!!! I wouldn't call it like "I" personally have made the difference, but the writing/friendship/outlet/trust thing where there had been none before made ALL the difference. It made a difference in different ways to different people I write. One person in particular..... that's been a life changer for both of us:
#1) Changed his life. I talk about him a lot on here. Went from a place of distrust and let's just call it: hate... to a place of actually believing there are good people in the world and not everything is out to get you, hurt you, scam you, mess you up. I tell him there's LOTS of good people and things... he just hasn't had the chance to experience it. So we talk about it a lot. This person changed my life. He says I changed his. Bring it on.
#2) It seems to mean so much to him, the small simple things I do- some print out that took me 5 minutes. Means the world to him, gives him hope and to quote him, "humanity." He claims I help him towards his release, make him feel like he can get a job and all that, that it's not impossible.
#3) Been recently told by him that I make him feel "validated" as a human being. He lives in a horrible place in a big California prison. He will die in there. If my letters make him feel human for a minute out of that mess, then I'm happy.
#4) Someone I can write PAGES about Buddhism to and he writes it right back!!! Plus music, art, ect. Don't know if I made a difference to him but he's great to talk to and maybe that means something to his otherwise crazy existence in SHU at Pelican Bay. (23 hr. a day lockdown.) Maybe he's happy to have a Buddha Buddy, lol!!!!! (kind of like a "F" buddy except....not, lol!!!)
#5) My little lost soul. He did something terrible. His life was tragic from birth. Maybe writing makes him feel human for a minute. Maybe it's just something to pass the time, but I think that it gives him some good things to think about. Even something small like that can make a difference to him I hope? He is also never getting out (and we all may be glad about that!) but I still think people have something to contribute and be, even if they're in there for life. Even if they just contribute positively to the people around them and in their family... that's a big difference than just being incorrigable!
It has incredible meaning, whether friendship or relationship. I am a huge supporter of WAP and it's many meanings to many people.
I totally agree with Gooddog - I don't think I have made the difference for him, it's just that having a penpal who is interested in HIM makes the difference, someone who is not out to find out the details about his crimes but just some 'normal' conversation. It could have been anyone else. I just happened to pick him as one of my penpals and I'm glad I did because he's got nobody else.
Don't be so sure. Sometimes having someone care about them *is* a life-changing thing.
For me, I just think that if I've even brightened up someone's day a tiny bit then that's enough. Some of my friends and family have been really cynical when I've told them what I'm doing and I tell them that if I was in that situation, it would really mean something to me if someone cared enough to take the time to write to me. This is especially true for prisoners who aren't in regular contact with their families or friends on the outside and must feel incredibly lonely. The knowledge that someone has thought about them and has offered them friendship must be a massive boost. When I got the first letter from my PP, he thanked me for taking the time to write to him. It was no trouble at all and I enjoy doing it but it made me realise how much our PPs must appreciate what we do. Obviously we get stuff out of the friendships too but we shouldn't underestimate how important just the gesture of a letter can be to people in prison.
I love this thread! The main reason that I started writing to prisoners is because a big part of my job involves going to prisons and providing some government assistance to prisoners. My experience just as a visitor made me see what a really terrible place prison is. I know, I know. It's prison! It's *supposed* to be terrible. But the people I work with have all said that the worst part of it all is the psychological isolation and the complete lack of any kind of stimulus. They also have told me what it is like to have been completely abandoned and forgotten about by the outside world. I think that must be just about the worst punishment there is. So, when I first wrote to my penpals, I made sure to tell them that one of the reasons I was writing was to let them know that the outside world had not forgotten about them. The responses I got were great and so grateful! All of my penpals know that they can write to me about anything and some do more than others. One in particular really pours his heart and soul into his letters and just lets all his thoughts out onto the page. It makes me feel good knowing that he feels comfortable doing that and that he has that outlet. The others all say the same thing: the best part of having a penpal just having an outlet for all of the thoughts, feelings, emotions, etc. I'm pretty sure that me being there for them makes a big difference in their lives.
i started writing to prisoners after i lost my 28 year old son died. i thought i lost my son why not try to help someone else in memory of him.most of my pp responded really well to me and 2 have been released so i know the letters and emails do mean allot and do put something positive into a cruel evil environment that they have to deal with everyday,especially those in 23 hour lockup in USP i do not write to death row guys only because for me i would become attached and i give anyone credit who can do that but i know at least 2 of my pp my letters r all they got and they tell me how happy they r that i write them so u r giving back and helping someone out by writing on here!
I started writing to my penpal (actually, it was two at the time - one was released several years ago) because I wanted to make a difference in his life. I don't know if I have, but he's sure made a difference in mine. He's my best friend and the one friend I can confide in about anything and everything. He's stuck by me through thick and thin, and I can see us being lifelong friends. :)
trust me, you've made a difference to him.
It seems to me that's the biggest different we make. We're almost mirrors for them. We show them a reflection that this world said was impossible. They're more than their mistakes, they're beautifully and fearfully created in the very hand of God himself and we remind them of their beauty by showing it to them w/every effort we make that seems so small to us, but I swear the efforts I see y'all giving will resonate forever. The light stays on in this dark place because someone cared enough to remember that MERCY IS REAL and REQUIRED OF US if we're going to call ourselves human beings.
I have a pen pal who's played it kind of cool the entire time I've known him, which is only a few months. A little while back this is the Mother's Day card I got from him:
"For the short time we've known each other you've been a great friend to me and from what I see, you're a great mother to your boys and a good wife to your husband. Just keep up the good work. Anything worth having ain't easy to keep, so never give up. You've made my days a whole lot better. Thank you. Tell (my husband) he's a lucky man. I hope to find a woman like you when I get out, except for being a Red Sox fan. I'd rather be single than live with that. Go Yankees!"
In addition he's taken the time to thank me for writing to him, for letting him call, and for treating him like a human being. He's said one of the reasons he likes talking to me is because I'm not racist (he's Peurto Rican, I'm whiter than Casper) and have never written anything suggesting I'm seeking his friendship for any sort of sexual gratification. I don't know if this belongs in the awesome letter thread, or if I'm really making a difference to him, but it felt good getting that card all the same.
Sorry Puerto Rican, not Peurto Rican, my 10 min limit for editing expired!
Your penpal is hilarious.
Writing to someone does make a difference!! I have several penpals here (England) and also several in USA. 2 of my guys are on DR. One especially says he wants someone he can tell his story to before it is too late. We both know he has committed some horrendous crimes - but listening to him and the terrible life he has lived, you can see how he ended up as messed up as he is.
Generally I listen to him. There isn't much I can say about the things he has done and at first all he talked about was his life with no "reply" to my letters. Just recently this is starting to change and he is asking questions about my day to day life and family. It made me cry when he said that my dog is so lucky - he says my dog has a better life and more love than he has ever had!! How sad is that.
I find that they love pictures of the countryside here as it is open and green. Several of them have said they look at the pics often and imagine that they are in the picture not looking at grey concrete.
I think my pals are one of the most valuable things in my life. They help me keep my life in balance. And strangely enough they also make me laugh sometimes!!
If anyone has a few minutes spare time I would recommend a penpal on the inside!!
Would love to share experiences with other penpals on this site!!
Love Spiderwoman
I have often thought that my dog has a much better life than my pp!!! We do joke about that for sure. This is a nice post.