MAJOR STRESS ATTACK...
lol..ok im a little worried i have not heard from my guy since about 4pm yesterday...he asked me to tell his cousin he would email her last nite which he didnt...nor me...
and i have had nothing all day today either..and usually before he goes to work i get a message that he will email me later...without fail it has been this way for the last 6 months..OMG im having panic attacks ha ha...i hate this...the fact i have no idea...??
Lol...sorry for my little panic stress vent...hehe...i hate the fact of not knowing..i feel so helpless.....argh...
Knowing my luck he just got up late...didnt have a chance to get to the PC or the PC was bust..which has happened a few times before...probably nothing to worry about... but i guess we still do..when we care about them...dont we?
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Don't worry, I'm sure there is a good explanation to it, but I can understand how you must feel, walking around and worrying.
But don't. Relax, breathe. And hopefully you'll hear from him soon :-)
From what i understand when we send emails to our love they print it out and give it to your guy only on the 4th and 20th of each month....crazy but thats the way it works
You are right..the PC is probably broken....again!! I just hate the not knowing...hehe..
I guess it shows how i feel about my guy.....as i will absolutely stress and worry until i see that "1 message" in my corrlinks account....ha ha...
Oh no I use corrlinks....so thats a little different ....
I've seen a few people mentioning corrlinks. What is it exactly? Is it the same as Jpay?
pretty much..i think its more geared for emails though.. and we dont pay...the inmate does...
Is JPay the same? as I thought both you and the inmate pay to use that service....whereas Corrlinks only the inmate pays ....:)
No, when using Jpay you have to buy stamps. 5 stamps costs $2.14 I think, so ít's not too bad.
In some facilities you can send an electronic stamp with the e-mail so the inmate can reply, but if that's
not possible, then the inmate has to pay for an electronic stamp to reply to the e-mail. :)
Oooohh...i guess me and my guy are so used to corrlinks...if not on Lockdown i hope he will call me if the stupid PC has broken again hehe...
As I hate worrying and i have checked to make sure there have been no incidents where he is today and nothing so.... usually he says the computers were broken...ha ha..or he didnt get a chance as he was running late this morning....i dunno..guess i gotta wait and see.....
I bought 50 stamps for 10 bucks :p I have someone in Michigan and stamps for them are hella cheap, and I can use the same stamps for all my other guys.
As I told you before, I am sure he's okay. Maybe just a lockdown ya know? Anyways, I understand you being worried though. I hope you hear from him soon, and in the mean time... relax :p
breathe..relax..release...let go....ah.ha.ha..
yes his prison is on a "Lockdown"...typical since yesterday evening....well that's that really gotta wait it out now....
Aww I sure know the feeling you have there...what a nightmare eh? it will be ok...try not to worry. We always think the worst and it turns out it was nothing eh....hope things get back to normal soon for you.
thanks...hehehe..its like having a "mini meltdown"..i guess we dont realise how much we care about them until something like this happens...
I can say with pride...that i "somewhat" survived my first every Lock down experience....hehe..now Im just gonna be annoyed until they lift it...
How can you tell what fed prisons have lock down, what happened, when they are lifted..is there a website one can check for such information?
There is a website im pretty sure of that but I dont know it sorry :(
Someone here will tell you...K isnt in Fed. Sorry
I'm sure everything will be fine.
My man's unit is currently on lockdown. But since we have to manage without emails and calls anyway, it hasn't made much difference to me.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
It also makes you stress out eh? haha.
Im the same as you we dont get calls or emails either so you just have to cope with it. Doesnt really make it easier at times though
How do you know they are on lock down? Is it from prison talk online?
You can call the unit and they will tell you if they are on lockdown or not.
I didn't call but someone else did and she told me.
Yes..another friend of mine who is on there sent me the link...to advise...also they called FCI Pollock to check and there is a recording....
As I am in UK..i have called to check this myself.... :)
we WISH that would be posted somewhere consistantly and comprehensively. I've noticed that "sometimes" the lockdowns are mentioned on PTO or the jpay forum, but only sometimes. I've also noticed that they seem to get mentioned (sometimes) when it's something so serious that the outside world knows about it OR some inmate's friend or relative somehow got word and that friend or relative decided to talk about it online somewhere. There is no clearinghouse for information about lockdowns in state prisons that I know of.
There is one for federal prisons but I have heard that it's not always updated or correct. (go figure.)
are you allowed to post the fed prison's link on here? as FCI Pollock is fed...
My understanding is that you are only allowed to use the email service from here the very first time you write your penpal otherwise you need to write directly or email them. Is that correct?
[QUOTE=februarymoon;1047370]I'm sure everything will be fine.
My man's unit is currently on lockdown. But since we have to manage without emails and calls anyway, it hasn't made much difference to me.
[B]
Absence makes the heart grow fonder[/B].[/QUOTE]
And many a pen run out of ink, lol.
Yes, you're only supposed to make first contact through WAP, but there are other services like corrlinks and jpay. There are prisons that have JPay service but not kiosks for the inmates so, for example, you would sign in and draft a "letter" - each page costs 1 "stamp" and then it will get printed by the prison and distributed via the typical mail route. If they have kiosks then you could get an email back. I get my money's worth with the stamps - I choose the smallest font so I can jam it all in and I actually fit a lot on one page. Of course it would cost me a number of stamps to send hubby one letter so he gets snail mail still. He can't get the others anyway. But yeah - that's how it works.
great idea to change the font size! I try to always keep them at one page but once in a while it goes to 2. Bet I could always keep it one if I changed the font. (duh)
It's normal and natural to have those emotions for someone so dear to us. However, you must not like yourself get worked up and worried too much. I am sure he's okay. Pray about it too. Computers may be busted like you stated. Thus, if you can reach out to someone that may know his where a bouts...do that. Good luck!
Iv changed the font on JPay to small and he moaned that it was too small so I changed it back again because he said when hes replying he puts my letter on his bunk for lack of space and he couldnt see it from the desk.
i hate lock downs phone line's get long :( at least you aware. waiting is horrible.... but when they call its amazing :)
You can't do right for doing wrong!
Yeah, it's not always updated... This is it: LOCKDOWN!!!!
Thats it...god I couldnt think of the name of that and it wasnt exactly hard was it haha
oh well it doesnt matter now....turns out my guy was a major player.....oopsie i dont think he expected his other girlfriend to find me...and if he hadnt gone on Lockdown....i would never have been given the link to the PTO website where she was....and found out...
sux but she showed me all her corrlink emails and they are almost identical to my ones...ha ha...i think all he did was change the names....eugh...good thing i got off lightly...and her....makes you wonder there are probably more out there....we are the lucky ones....
Well off I go and find hopefully an honest guy to write to this time around....live and learn....
Only regret...i sent some really nice pics off to him yesterday....wish i hadnt now..but when he calls as he has no idea we have found eachother...hehehe...he will get a " enjoy those pics as they are the last of this sexy ass girl you gonna see.." xx
OK, I'm going to speak my mind and to hel with the consequences.
Did you not think, just for one minute, that him not wanting to see you until he got out of prison was just a little bit odd? Did you not think that his insistance that you would not be driving, and his reason, might just be a little strange? Because I sure as hel did, but I decided - after so many complaints recently about people being mean and unsupportive - that I would just not say anything and wait.
And here you are, telling the world he is a player. Who'd have thunk it.
You don't seem particularly cut up about it either. Which is strange after making such a fuss about not getting an email.
Yes, it could have happened with a free-world guy. But as you're off to find another inmate, I guess we'll never know.
he DID want to see me before getting out of prison..i have the visitation form here....it was me that said no....rather wait until he gets out.... as i didnt feel comfortable saying i knew him before he went down ...as for the driving i was like as we drive on opposites of the road and CAR it may be fun..and he joked it would be better if he drives....so no sure how that factors in..??
As for being cut up..when you have no more tears to cry and believe me..between me and the other girl we have done enough of that....why should we waste anymore on him? Does he deserve more of our time? I think not....
And as for moving onto "another inmate"..I'm not the black widow spider...but Im not gonna let one bad experience with a guy put me off writing and making friends with other people that Im sure are genuine.... why should one idiot spoil it for the rest?
So yes...I could be maliscious and vindictive about this guy but why? its his loss.... and i've cried enough over him and its time to move on.....cant see anyone having a problem with that now??
I actually saw those same signs and didn't say anything either. Which is why I would be very careful about "falling" for someone so quickly, if at all, through letters. Hell, I could lie my butt off about myself and they'd never know about it unless they were released so it could work both ways.
You do seem a bit flippant about the whole situation and actually seemed more upset that you didn't get an email right way than you were about finding out he was playing you. This is just my observation and it may be wrong but that is what I read.
Perhaps you should wait a bit before jumping back into the frying pan. Even though your post seemed matter of fact you have to be somewhat upset about this. The signs were there but you didn't see it and you had lots of contact with him. I'm not even sure if someone had pointed them out at the time that you would of listened.
Ok Im gonna stick up for Kimber here...why should she be bothered? Would everyone prefer if she was in tears and took forever to get over it? Because I think some people would say "OMG get over it and so on so really she cant win.
He played her she found out and now shes moving on! Good for her Im glad.
Well, for those of you who doubt her emotions: perhaps this happened over a few days? Maybe she has done all the crying, and staying up all night? Maybe she got support off the other woman, and talked through things?
She has the right attitude if you ask me, as Fee said , why sHOULD she be bothered? And even better that she hasn't become bitter and written off all other inmates.
We are all different, and deal with certain situations if our own ways. If she is able to spring back from this, without getting bogged down with self pity AND have a positive outlook, then I think its a good thing.
well i thank you all for your observations ...as inaccurate as they are...we are each entitled to cope and deal with things in our own way..and just because im not breaking into floods of tears on WAP...which some of you on here all ***** about anyways when someone is "crying about being played"....i'm stating the fact... i didnt see it as a red flag because i was told i shouldnt drive coming from the UK to the US whose driving is completely different in every way...sorry my bad!!!
But none of you are privy to the messages between him and me so i can assure you no red flags..and i have asked a few choice people to verify this which they have agreed with me... flippant...? interesting choice of words...because i am not coping the way is deemed fit by who?? I didnt realise there were now gods on this forum dictating how i can and cannot chose to deal with situations...and if i dont conform i am flippant or not cut up enough....
You dont know me or how i chose to cope with situations in my life so please dont decide how that should be....and now i have laid it out..please dont continue with your silly assumptions... because obviously all of you happily judging away....have never been hurt before...
I swear some of you have nothing better to do than put someone down.....never mind oh crap hope you are OK comment..nope you go straight for the kill dont you?? Brilliant and i never expected anything less...
I certainly didn't want to seem like I was getting on her case and not sticking up for her, I just don't want to see her get hurt again. I only know Kimber from what she posts here. From her posts it seemed that she was in love with this man, planning visits, emailing and talking on the phone and then she found out she was being played. I have no doubt that she is hurting from this. I just thought that she should take a step back to evaluate the warning signs that were there. Moving on is good and I'm glad that she didn't let this experience ruin her from writing other inmates. I don't know what else to say here. I have all these things in my head I'd like to say but when written out they just sound bad so I will refrain from saying them.
You can deal with it any way you want, as you pointed out, I was making an observation and one based on the time and time again that this situation appears. There is nothing "silly" about an assumption or a point of view. Maybe when you've lived a little more, you'll understand. I'm obviously too old and experienced to have any idea what I'm talking about.
I'm certainly not going to apologize for posting what my observatons are. If they are wrong, then they are. I would expect that people are mature enough though to take what is said as an opinion, right or wrong and be able to post a response that didn't attack the entire forum. You aren't alway's going to like what you hear and when you post on a public forum you are going to get opinions FROM what you write. We don't have any other information than what you decide to post and are responding with what information we know. If it is wrong then you have the choice to post your reply. What was said was said nicely if you ask me and I didn't see it as "going for the kill". I'm sorry you feel that way.
in love...mmmm hardly....really liked ..yes...and im sorry when all these apparent red flags where everywhere that two of us got played..remember..there is another girl in all this as well....so obviously we are just as stupid as each other... of course im hurting..i just dont see the point in having to cry about it on here..... trust me i have valuated the situation and asked a few friends on here for their opinion.....
so evaluate the warning signs...of him begging every phone for me to go over and visit...... yet it was ME...not him that said no... but somehow that turned into him minipulating me to do that so he didnt have to see me when he gets out?? WOW....AMAZING..mind tricks....as for the driving...mmm..warning signs....that maybe not wise i drive wrong side of the ride..especially having never done it....or the fact i'd have to sit in the left hand side of a car too....WOW another amazing red flag..no wonder i was duped...
Trust me as for getting hurt...no doubt its going to happen over and over in my life....sadly thats a part of life..its how i chose to deal with the hurt is what makes me.....the stronger person in all of this..i'm not going to play the victim..like so many of here do....i went in with eyes as open as i could...and i happened to land up with a "bad apple".... cest la vie...
You know I'm sorry to hear about what happened and you and I spoke about it in length last night. Everyone deals with things in their own way and honestly, I think it's great that you're not like "OMG all inmates are BASTARDS! I am never again writing another inmate!".. And that you instead choose to find a new penpal. From what we discussed earlier, I know that it did indeed hurt you but I'm glad to see that you're dealing with it in your own way. If you know what I mean :)
Thanks Queenbella, Fee and Drinkwater....
I know i can always count on you guys..and thanks for allowing the vents xx
Oh...and CRAP....i just burnt my Butter popcorn
Well, I am sorry I misunderstood you then. In your other posts you kept calling him "my man". To me that insinuated love. It must be a cultural thing. As for the driving, I'm not sure how that was a red flag either.
I hope that you understand that the responses that you got were based on what you choose to tell us. I didn't have the opportunity like QB to talk to you at length about this. I'm sure if we had, I may have felt differently. I was basing my opinion on your posts. It seems that you went from 0-60 in just a matter of a couple of months, sending him money, talking on Skype, etc. and you were even wondering if he might be scamming you in your first post on WAP. So you have to admit that you were a bit suspicious all along. You can't say there were no red flags because there were. If my pp's asked me for money in the first year or so of writing, I would simply say I can't afford it - because I can't. I would never dream of sending them $80/month. That's almost two weeks worth of food for me.
But what has been posted before is that what you do with your life is none of anyone's business. You have to expect that when you do post something you may get replies you don't like or are WAY off base. If you don't want opinions from other people that you may not like then I just woudn't post about that particular topic. Take it for what it is..opinions. Doesn't mean people are out to get you or think you are stupid. You voiced concerns that he might be scamming you and people replied for you not to judge yet it ended up being true. I don't see you angry over the fact that they told you not to worry about it.
in my first post..i panicked as he has said he was low on minutes and could i help.....that was it....the drama..as it was like my 2nd post and having read all the SCAREY stories..i panicked and went overboard...a bit...when he made it perfectly clear he wasnt after my ££ it was OK.... obviously i didnt come back on here and post that.....maybe i should have??... calling him "my man" maybe is a culture thing.....i am South African after all... but i wasnt head over heels inlove..but liked him more than just being "my PP" yes..so adopted "my man"...
I was only suspicious because of all the RED FLAG emails....on here.. which scare the living daylights out of any potential..the minute he asks for something..SCAM!!! so yes the minute mine said low min and could i maybe help with a few pennies for the minutes...and when i finally got to asking the amount he was like $5...i nearly had a panic attack after all i had read...... and no way have i sent my $80 a month..god he's lucky if he got $40 in 6 months we been writing and emailing and phone calling...so could have been way way worse...
Im not gonna mope...i was initially worried....but thought he had put me at ease when he said no to the $$...but it was just "smooth playing".... and i hand it to him..i fell for it....and hey as they say...onwards and upwards...
Moenie stress nie tannie lol
How bizarre kimber, not on topic but just to say i am also a Saffy living in the UK :yup:
I have nothing to add to this except to point out that I don't do the sad heartbreak stuff either. Someone plays me? Fine. I may cry for a second but then I realize they didn't deserve me in the first place. Then I move on. Can't really bemoan someone for not coping with a breakup (or any situation, really) because they don't react the same as you.
To the OP: Hope you find someone worthy of your friendship this time around. :)
...yay..someone that GETS it..... :)
Awsum...ek is n Kaapstad meisie...en is is jammer my Afrikaans is baie sleg....thats what i get for 15yrs in the UK hehe
I am sorry to hear about everything. Including the popcorn. Popcorn is delicious especially the buttered kind. But there will always be more popcorn.. and more friends, and more pen pals and more of.. well everything.. :) onwards and upwards indeed!