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Must read Terms of Service & Privacy Policy and be at least 18

 
Ck19x

Hi everyone. I've had a few pen pals over the years, all different personalities/interests, both male & female. I got on great with them all and have kept contact with a few when they were released. But there's ONE guy that I can't figure out and I've never had a pen pal like this before!

We have been talking 5/6 weeks, very chatty, funny, we've had our share of deep chats and 'fun & flirty' comments passed but nothing sexual. He has joked a little about me being his 'lady' but I feel like it's just a little fun for him to escape from the prison life. A few things were said that made me think he was a little more serious about things and it got me thinking.

Honestly, I could see myself developing feelings, however I know I could take a step back and put those aside (well id like to think so) if I knew the true basis/meaning of our chats etc. I'm really in two minds & this guy has caught me off guard!

Is it too soon to discuss this with my PP?

 
Northernyank

I married my pen-pal. lol 

 
Anne marie HH

Whats a " paying programme" ?

 
Ck19x

I got a little opening to approach the situation in a light hearted way with out being too deep or heavy. As someone above mentioned being used an ATM, we're all good their as he is in a paying programme & also has family on the outside taking care of things for him. Thanks for your replies everyone!

 
Kirsten

No one can tell you what's right or wrong for yourself or for yourself and your penpal.

For me, being in a longterm relationship, it has always been clear that I won't be anything but a friend or a mentor for the guys I write to.

But even with being a pal, I can tell you that these connections developed in a unique way each, so, really, there's no way to tell what's right or wrong for someone else.

The only thing I can tell you wholeheartedly is: Listen to your gut feeling! and go from there.

Happy writing,

Kirsten

 
Anne marie HH

Be very very careful. Make sure your not being " groomed" as an ATM.

 
GalapagosDiver2

You're entering the real "honeymoon phase" of a penpal friendship.  It's normal for everything to be quite new and exciting, along with the prospect of "feelings" being tossed around.  By all means, you can discuss this with your penpal - it would encourage an open and honest correspondence which is essential in all friendships.

Or you could just enjoy the "now" and try not overthink things.  No one is proposing marriage just yet, so do you want to risk ruining a good thing by diving down that rabbit hole of feelings and love? It's still so early, so I would personally wait a little longer.  Of course, you could discuss boundaries and ground rules for the correspondence - but you're dealing with people who have broken most of society's rules anyway Haha

 
ShadeyBiz89

I second Sparkie, that aspect of your relationship with your penpal is the most important. You both need to have a clear idea of what this is and where you stand with each other. That needs to be established from the beginning, what it is and clear and consistent boundaries for both of you. You will save yourself a ton of unnecessary conflict, hard feelings and heartache, for both of you.

 
Sparkie19

Hi, no I don't think it's to early to discuss this with your pen pal. At least you will both know we're you stand with each other, and better to know now then to develop deep feelings and getting hurt. I say go for it :)