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Must read Terms of Service & Privacy Policy and be at least 18

Must read Terms of Service & Privacy Policy and be at least 18

 
CityHiker72

Hi, I just need some quick advice regarding this. I am writing to three guys, and it's great to know more about their lives, and to hopefully give them something to look forward to when the mail comes. I am fine with this, and I want to keep it mail only. I am 100% fine with that, however there is a prisoner who has hinted/asked/won't take no for an answer regarding wanting to call me. He just asked again today, "for the holidays" and so that he can "share some love" with me. I don't want to be mean to him, because I can't even imagine what prison would be like on the holidays especially, but I don't want to give him false hope. He's also made inferences to hoping that I want to move to his state one day, and several other things that just make me uneasy, and think that he is hoping for a future together. Am I being too sensitive here? I don't want to have a knee jerk reaction and blow him off, but on the other hand I really think he might think that he and I are on the path to a relationship if I give him my number. Any advice is very appreciated!

 
LotusBlossom

I don't have anything to add, sounds like everyone said it all and you're taking care of the situation but wanted to wish you best of luck because it's something that people definitely run into when writing to pen pals.  Take care and happy holidays, Lotus 

 
CityHiker72

Thank you both! I have stated by boundaries with him, but as noted he starts chipping away later. I am going to have to be firm I guess, sigh. One thing makes me feel better about it--I know that he has family, so he won't be completely alone. Thanks for the support!

 
Cleopatraaaa

I agree with @Davey. Time to be honest and really put your foot down. I don't think it's very fair to you that he's making you feel uncomfortable and that he won't adhere to your boundaries. Be upfront with him and let him know what your wishes are, and if he can't respect that, I personally wouldn't continue the correspondence. I've had my own experience dealing with similar situations and things never really worked out with any of my former pen pals who pushed at my boundaries -- even after I had to reiterate my boundaries, and even after they apologised. They always found away to start chipping away again some time later. I hope it works out for you though, and I also totally get that this time of the year must be especially hard for inmates and I completely sympathise with them. But I don't think you should be made to do something you're uncomfortable with for the sake of making someone happy.

All the best x

 
Anonymous

Maybe an honest letter is in order? Just spelling out why you write to inmates, what you and they can get out of it, but pointing out that romance is definitely not on the cards and that it never was. He'll either understand completely, or he won't. That's the dilemma here... but honesty is surely the best policy?