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Been_on_the_inside

I was just wondering as anyone ever felt like they have been punished by the prison service because they have someone they care about in prison. Example a loved one being moved out of state so it’s near on impossible to visit. Or had your visits cancelled cause of short staff or maybe they feel like your loved one as done wrong and taken away visits. Maybe lack of calls cause your not in the right area code as the prison. Have anyone ever felt as people on the outside your also doing the sentence just by being restricted. I’m hoping along with others trying to start a group to fight for family rights cause you do have them. Do you think this would work? 


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Glittergluemoon

For me the biggest challenges of having a loved one in prison is the fact that they make it impossible for us from a foreign country (i.e. non us or canadian citizens) to register for the prison's phone company (securus, gtl. and the like) so we can have calls.

The fact that mail is SO heavily restricted that we can only buy books from an approved vendor (which, with my luck, never works anyway) and that we aren't allowed to spice up the mail a bit more. 

And ST4s also mentioned it, but the fact that they require you to have known your penfriend before prison or be family to get on their visitation list. 

Other than that I think I'm doing fine. Oh, what also would be helpful would be if we would be able to send cd's with self chosen songs, so you don't have to buy an entire cd from one artist and you can choose yourself which songs you want to share. I'll see if I can come up with more.

 
Northernyank

@ST4s I have the app Waze but twice now it's signal has been lost when I was in a rural setting. I also, worry about my mini van breaking down in the middle of nowhere. Hence, why I'm worried since my husband's facility is in a rural area. When I visited him all the other times at his last facility, I stayed overnight, and in close proximity, sometimes renting an airbnb. Had I decided to Sat and Sun visit this time I would have just stayed overnight and driven up, but I'm doing 2 back to back Saturdays. 

I have to get my 1 time only (insert eye roll) battery changed at the apple store. I do have lipstick chargers, and 1 time chargers for just in case moments, but I don't know the wiggle room of this facility, so I'm trying to air on the side of caution. 

 
FrankieBones

Yes, entire family units being broken up because of FBOP. I have a rather fun case where an employee of the Iowan organisation for kids got to pick one of the kids for adoption pretty much herself, but with some help from the sister of the person I write to. I see multiple conflicts of interest and now the FBOP has screwed up the life of a kid who will probably never know his mother. An amazing yet calamitous situation where inmates go to jail pregnant and have to give up their kids to the custody of someone else.

It's not just me that it effects either.

 
ST4s

@Northern maybe it's worth looking into getting a GPS gizmo, or a windshield mount and car charger for your smartphone? So many U.S. prisons, especially the newer ones, are in remote areas by design. It's a part NIMBY thing, part cheaper land thing, and part employment center thing that politicians lobby for. Consideration for people traveling long distances to get there is at the bottom of the list, and good luck if someone doesn't have a car.

 
GalapagosDiver2

I think there's no doubt that family members and loved ones get punished and sentenced as well.  Children without parents etc.  I have only had one direct interaction with my penpals' facility - and it wasn't a good one.  I found their communication method incredibly cold, blunt and unhelpful.  Despite myself having a clean criminal record, I was made to feel like I was a criminal not worthy of their basic respect.

So I'd hate to be an actual inmate on the receiving end of that shit (and far worse) daily.

 
Been_on_the_inside

They make it all so difficult to have any kind of relationship with anyone in prison I’m hoping to get a Skype visit if I can with a lady in England that as been using what they call their human rights law to help families get by all the prison bullshit I’m gonna try and make that happen today see if she tell gives us a outline of what she did.  

 
Northernyank

Here's something that occurred to me tonight as I made my travel plans. His facility is only 2.5 hours away from me. I don't like driving long distances that I'm unsure of. When I go visit him the following weekend again, I will drive myself. When I was searching up options I realized there is no way to get to his facility via public transit, which made me wonder about families that heavily rely on this mode of transportation. There is a greyhound bus that travels from a small size city to the town close to the prison, but nothing from there, other than calling a cab or an uber. I've hired a car service for 8 hours and waiting to hear if I have the flexibility of 9 hours. I'll spare you the cost, I'm in denial but I know for this trip this is my best bet since I'm worried about taking in my phone, and pushing my luck with bringing in a charger. 

 
Northernyank

I'm so glad I met, and married my husband in the State system. 

 
ST4s

Everything that @Lotus said. But my situation isn't a family one so it's that much harder. For example, getting permission to visit someone who I didn't know before their incarceration is next to impossible in federal, in my experience. And my friends in federal are routinely transferred, sometimes a continent away from their real families, which is 180 degrees opposite of the BOP's stated philosophy, "...that release preparation begins the first day of incarceration." 'Splain me that!

 
Been_on_the_inside

@lotus that’s the fine line cause your right prison security is and as to be a priority. what we are trying to make them responsible for is the violation of your rights. It’s a very grey area cause there is many arguments as to if family even as rights it’s not gonna happen over night and it’s something I came a cross at a reform meeting and want so much to be involved with. I’ve spoken to northern as she as inside of what it’s like to be in that situation over and over I wanted to get a feel from her if this could be something worth fighting for. But Everyone that give me input will help even if you think it can’t be done I’d like to know why so we could look at that. So I’m really greatful for your input lotus.  

 

 
Been_on_the_inside

Thanks northern I’ve looked at the other one you sent the next few months is gonna all be about the research I will definitely read those links 

 
Northernyank

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4501034/

 
Northernyank

Hey Been, here's a few studies I found per our email. https://oaklandnorth.net/2018/12/13/20181204_incarceration_williamsroda…

 
LotusBlossom

I feel that way a lot, Been.  

The whole dress code during visits is over restrictive and a punishment towards women, how exactly is a low cut blouse or thin straps going to cause a problem?  If visits will be canceled because of lockdown, leaving everyone out in the cold with no clue what’s going on until we get a letter, and some lockdowns last a month... or more.

The worry over everything being monitored (which I know they HAVE to do, but still it makes people feel like they’re doing something wrong when they’re not)

The lack of any sort of fair pay for inmates, leaving family, loved ones and friends to either worry...or help make up the costs.

Trying to arrange calls around a certain schedule - can’t call in when needed, even emergencies will just have to wait.

Being scared about inmate safety but you can’t really do anything about it, you’re flat out told “well then they shouldn’t have committed the crime and there’s something wrong with YOU for daring to care about an inmate!”

So yes, I think it’s fair to say people who care about an inmate in any shape or form are punished too in one way or another.