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Must read Terms of Service & Privacy Policy and be at least 18

 
Strawberry-girl

Just need some advice here.  I've been writing to a guy for the last few months and we get on so well.  It's a great friendship but I have felt that he's been feeling more then that lately. But nothing was said until today. I'm now left not knowing what to do. He has asked me if I feel the same way about him and a possible relationship.  But I'm very much married, not necessarily very happily married but married nonetheless.  What should I do - I'm hesitating about continuing this any further which is a pity as he's really a good penpal and tbh my favourite of all 4, we have so much in common. But I'm in shock here. Just wondering if this has happened to anyone and any of you have any advice on how to handle this. Thanks!

 
Kirsten

I'm not married,but in a longterm relationship since 2007. My AZ pp would love us to become an MWI couple, so I had to tell him "no".Was a bit hard, cause I feared I might lose him as a friend, but that didn't happen.

If you are even hesitant about it, then, tbh, I'd check the relationship (not that with your penpal, the one with your husband). 

Good luck in whatever you decide to do,

Kirsten 

 
My_other_car_i…

I agree with mjuran. Honestly I'd just tell him the way you just told us, that you appreciate him as a friend but don't have romantic feelings towards him. I believe when it comes to feelings a penpal friendship is not much different from the "real world".. Sometimes honesty is better even tho it hurts. I'm truly hoping you can keep up your friedship :-)

 
mjuran

It seems a shame to stop writing to someone you get along with, because they have deveoped some feelings for you and hope you feel the same.  If you want to keep talking to him but make sure he understands you're not in a position to entertain any romantic feelings for anyone outside your marriage, and can only keep him as a friend with that understanding, it should be easy for him to understand, even if he's disappointed.  Whether he wants to continue writing to someone who doesn't share his feellings is going to be up to him to decide, too, but you can at least tell him where you stand.  And I hope you can let him down easily, and kindly, without making him feel he was outrageously out of line for telling you how he's feeling.  It doesn't sound like he intended any harm or was showing any disrespect.