Steps Toward Forgiveness
Forgiveness is sometimes painfully hard to achieve. Yet it is crucial to physical and emotional health. Bitterness eats away at life, robs joy and destroys relationships. Forgiveness heals the forgiver as well as the forgiven.
How do you forgive when bitterness won’t go away? There are no easy answers, but these suggestions might help:
Gain understanding: Learn about the person you need to forgive. What happened in their life? What other circumstances were involved?
Work through your anger and pain: Don’t stuff it, it will come back to haunt you. Share your story with compassionate friends. Keep a journal as you work through the process. Grieve your losses, let the anger come and then release it.
Confront the person in a gentle way. Don’t attack; just explain your feelings. Let the person apologize, if they are able.
If the individual who harmed you is dead, or has completely cut the ties, write a letter telling the person what you would have said to him or her. Read your letter to a trusted friend.
Ask for God’s help in the healing process.
Be gentle with yourself. If the pain becomes too deep, take a break and then come back to it when you are stronger.
Begin your forgiveness with small things. Practice forgiveness. When you’re ready; tackle the important issues.
Try to incorporate forgiveness immediately. Don’t allow years to pass. It will only make things harder.