Valentine's Day

Mine got some pix of me and an email. I’m waiting on a card and “prison ice” from him. Hopefully it comes tomorrow!!

Happy Valentine's Day to you too Kelly!

Does anyone here think Valentine's might actually cause problems in some facilities? Don't want to be a debby downer on the whole thing, because I'm all for more love and less hate in the world - however, penpals of mine often talk about how all the fights that take place are over relationships etc.

It might be less of an issue in male facilities, due to perhaps less inmate relationships taking place.  But I'll be damned if love and romance doesn't cause constant drama in women's facilities Haha

Nah, prison relationships are a pretty big deal. They're not supposed to have them in prison because it starts drama like this... and I have been going through this with my own relationship... She had a companionship partner on the inside just to get through things and to do things together during the day. It ended up in a complete and utter acromony and she ended up getting shunned by her "family" in there... See women build families... men build gangs... But the drama is pretty similiar regardless and sometimes it does end up in extortion or drama or both.

That's just on the inside of course... One of the reasons I advocate not sending money or forming a relationship until you know the ins and outs of your situation is because getting too close to someone or sending them money can actually cause them dramas also. There are incidents where rumors were made up she was carrying... You know internally... and well one thing leads to another and they did a cavity inspection.... People start shit because other people are happy. They also will see a person getting a lot of money and you will inadvertently put a mark on their back that they can be someone on the inside that can be extorted also...

So yeah, get to know your situation first before you do test the waters of what you can get away with.

I got a very romantic Valentine's Day card from my husband. I got all choked up with what he wrote. We talked on the phone for an hour today. 

Happy V-Day Kelly and everyone :). I sent a card to my bf a week ago so hopefully it reaches him this week. Not gonna lie, feels kinda lonely :(. Wish I can call him up (argh TX).

Hope you guys had a lovely day ♡

Well I'm pissed off... I received a call today and it wouldn't recognise me pressing 5 on my phone.

@Galapagosdiver I think any kinda holiday can set off more of a reaction in things for them inside are more intense cause they can’t just simply walk away from it, out here wa can take time out but I guess relationships out here can also be kinda the same. To be honest I know bad things go on and of course things happen in prison but I’ve kinda been lucky I guess my guy as had his share of problems but on the whole I’ve seen them all pull together too like he wrote me a song for valentines and two other inmates came over and sang it for me. Once he got Sick and was taken to hospital and his cell mate got his mum to send me a message to let me know. It’s so nice to hear everyone stories about how they are building relationships and friendships in a positive way cause I know it can happen but sometimes people just wanna talk about the bad. I think what happens is most of them once they love they truly love with there heart. 

@ayekay_tdot :-( I’m sorry you feel kinda lonely times like this when your away kinda hit hard and we have all been through it Christmas, birthdays, etc are always hard but honestly keep your head up it takes a special person to commitment to this kinda friendship it’s not easy, I hope you feel better now. To all waiting on gifts hope you all get them soon :-) 

I got a card (selfmade),  pictures and a really long letter . I love getting long letters :) I send him the same 

Pisces - I have GTL w my pal too (he’s in IL as my name suggests LOL) - do you have insane turnaround times too?? I don’t ever get messages pushed thru usually From Saturday to Monday. Any weekend or Friday messages come through tuesday. It’s so frustrating. 

I have a lot of problems with GTL. My husband has to call me over and over sometimes because of it. 

I hadn't had a problem with it until yesterday. But you wait around long enough... eventually I just mashed the 5 button on my phone about 10 times in a row out of frustration and the call disconnected. Its frustrating because you can't call them back either and they have to wait in a line again for one of the phones if they want to call you back.

I got photos, a letter and visitation form (yay!). I sent him a card and letter. 

Oooooooohhhhhh @Il_ppp ha ha ha now I see your user name lol I’ve had loads of problems with gtl and yeah my hubby as to call back or it’s just broken voice all the time. It’s so nice to read what you all and your pen pals did for each other I’m such a romantic. 

@babyblueeyes does this mean your having a visit soon? Will it be your first prison visit 

If I’m approved, I’ll be going in October and yeah it’ll be the first time, very exciting and very nerve wracking! 

It’s scary and I’m not sure it’s something you ever get used to but it’s worth it and to be honest I’ve always been made to feel welcome (if that’s right word) by staff  and it’s never been unfriendly. 

That’s really good to hear. How many times have you been to visit your man? 

In 5 year I’ve been 34 times in two different prisons he’s on his 3rd prison now that I’ve not been too yet but will go to in July but it’s always been ok sometimes you even forget where you are you can’t touch apart from a hug and close mouth kiss at start and end but your just so glad to see them you just kinda forget about small things. 

Thankfully, my husband doesn't have to get into any lines to use the phone. He's in insolation, and gets escorted to the phone cage, 5 times a week. No movement on Monday and Fridays. He gets exactly an hour, except on kiosk days, when he only gets 45 minutes. We do get lucky when staff gets caught up with another inmate, we can sneak in an extra 15 minutes. 

Wow northern it sounds kinda tuff for you I’m in the same boat but he doesn’t  have so many restrictions. 

He's been in and out of isolation for 17 years. He's been incarcerated for 23. He was in prison on another charge, when he received a life sentence for killing a violent, sexual predator. Actually, because it was in Texas, the death penalty was an option. He was found guilty because it was witnessed by guards, but the judge imposed life without parole. Since then, he's "shanked" 5 other individuals all rapists and child molesters, hence the isolation. Since meeting me, his life has changed drastically. He had a very bleak outlook on life and had nothing to lose. Now, he's a model prisoner, lol. He is so afraid of losing phone privileges, visits and jpay that he doesn't risk doing anything he shouldn't do. The warden has even stopped by his cell to mention what a positive influence I am on him. I've made things very clear that I will not have any type of violence in nor around my life. I'm also in the criminal justice field, so he really needs to think about how his actions would effect me, and I need to be careful with it as well. We really want those phone tablets though. Right now there is a block of time each day that he can call me, and sometimes it's very difficult during those times to have conversations freely, or even take advantage of the full hour we get. We make it work, and we have a lot more patience and understanding with one another. We're both committed and in this together. Our life will never resemble a normal relationship on the outside, but we work towards goals of making our life the best that it can be. 

Northern good for you and yeah it sounds like you have really made a change in his life that’s what I’ve always been trying to say everyone should be given a chance no matter what they did cause that one person could change everything. Your story is an example of that. 

GTL has been a curse and a blessing. I sent an email Thursday at 9a and it’s still not been pushed through (which, is unusual for email sent on Thursday am). Poor guy will get like 5 emails all at once from me anywhere from 1-4 days after I’ve sent them. His to me also have a 24-72+ hour turn around time :/ it sucks and we can’t send pix, but I’m grateful to have a way to remind him constantly that I’m thinking of him. (I mean really, he’s had it since the first of January and I email pretty much every day - him, not so much, but they get 15 minutes a night to check email and respond so...). 

The things that jpay are doing in more liberal states are amazing... Although I wrote to an inmate in California on Death Row... After so many years on Death Row he was more scared of technology than accepting of it andwas talking about how it would make it easier for prison staff to redact their general mail.

http://offers.jpay.com/jp5-tablets/

Some prisons are considering ending actual visits in favor of video visitations. 

Some prisons are considering ending actual visits in favor of video visitations. 

that whole thing sucks but you can’t really touch an inmate anyway so...

Does anyone know - with the video visits - if I do it on a laptop and someone walks into the frame who isn’t on the list, can I pick up my laptop and move or do I need to be stationary or...? I *think* I discussed this with Kelly, and I think she said she was free to move around.. I just worry because I have kids and they’re nosy lol

Actually I’m gonna start a new thread on video visits so disregard 

@ILPPP: That turnaround problem you face is not a GTL prob, but one of the facility your guy is in. Or rather, this facility's mailroom.

I use GTL with one of my pps regularly, too & so far every email went through in a day's time. (except for weekends). So, what you're telling about 72 hours... that isn't GTL, that's mailroom staff shortage.

yeah they’re notoriously slow. As of 2/13 he’d still not received a letter I sent 2/5. Email last week only got pushed thru two days as opposed to normal four (never gets pushed weekend and Monday). *sigh*