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@nderson

Hello fellow writers.

I've being contacting prisoners for a while, and I adopted this strategy:

  1. send the first letter;
  2. wait 3 months for the reply;
  3. if it doesn't arrives, second try: send a letter again, like the first, that is, introducing myself, but also pointing this is the 2nd try and there will be no 3rd try;
  4. wait 3 more months for the reply;
  5. if still no reply, I assume the prisoner didn't like my profile, and so, I seek another pen-pal on that prison.

Consider the 3 month period is because I don't live on USA, so mail is slower.

 

Do you people do the same, that is, try 2 times before giving up? I believe that's a good way to troubleshoot why there was no reply... Maybe they have not received my first letter, or maybe I have not received their reply... Maybe they didn't have money at that moment, I don't know. I believe my strategy isn't much annoying, because I don't even try a 3rd time. But still, I guess that, maybe, it's just a way to waste money on international stamps.

How much % of prisoners reply when you retry stablishing contact with them?


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@nderson

Hey, today a prisoner that I contacted for the first time on November 2018 replied! I retried her on April 2019, and I only remember trying to contact her twice, albeit she says I've contacted her thrice.

I think it's worth quoting:

"I want to apologize for not responding. I have been played with and insulted many times by men writing me. They only wanted sex letters for exchange for $ on my account. [...] I see that you have attempted 3 times to talk to me... It definetely shows your sincere... [...] I have trust issues and am working on that. Im so happy you wrote again... The first time I was still scorned - the second time I 'almost' answered but this time its got to be meant to be! So I apologize for comparing you to the perverts who wrote and hurt my feelings. I definantly will not try again if you and I dont work out."

That could explain why women sometimes don't want to reply! The problem is not necessarily that they find me uninteresting, or gave up of penpalship, it could be that they get too much annoying letters from perverts, to the point of becoming cynical.

I spotted this type of problem on another pen-pal website that I started using (one not directed to prisoners). Women there tell me they deeply regret adding "love and romance" on the "interests" section of their profiles, or that they receive huge amounts of visits on their profiles from men living on a distant country, which leaves idiotic messages to them... Some women I try to contact there just block or troll me when I introduce myself as wanting to practice some language with them (it's a language practice website). Unfortunately, the ones more annoyed have anxiety, trust problems, or mental diseases that make them more sensible to that kind of behaviour.

 
GalapagosDiver

I also didn't get a reply from someone until a few months later due to them being in the SHU.. Haha.. It's good to not always jump to the "didn't want to talk to me" conclusion, because shit just happens sometimes!

 
Septimus W. Smith

Well, I think your case shows that the non-response may be due to many factors that we didn't imagine, and not only because there was no desire to establish a communication.

Although (obviously) it's very difficult to always know the reason, for which it's understandable that most don't insist and leave out who doesn't respond to a first letter.

 
@nderson

Today, I received another letter from someone that I first contacted on September. She received my first letter (through e-mail forward), but couldn't reply until December, due to a misdeed she commited, and that prevented her from buying stamps. When she replied, she sent the letter to my old address, and I never received her reply.

After I retried her, she replied to my current address and I got the letter.

 
@nderson

Birthday cards are very important for prisoners. If he didn't want to reply to your first letter, sending a birthday card could be enough for a reply.

 
menyanthe

He doesn't have JPay. Only Corrlinks and for there - he needs to add me first, before I can contact him.

The interesting thing is - the woman I wrote to, she added me on Corrlinks and I received an email notification - is the email included in WAP letters as well? Or did she just find me on Corrlinks (I did register there although I did not have any code at the time)? :) I am glad she did, though. Does that mean that she just got my letter or maybe she just got access to Corrlinks? I don't really know, but wait for her to write :)

 
Northernyank

I tailored  my letters to each of my pen-pals. I always started with a brief introductory about who I am, and why I write, thereafter it was more about them.

 
Anonymous

Always go through JPay if possible, or snail mail otherwise. WaP email forwarding is not very reliable imo.

 
Stu0973

Try using jpay for prison number if they are available on that site

 
menyanthe

That could probably be true - unfortunately, there is still a lot of prejudice in people.

I am still waiting for answers but my letters should have been forwarded on the 23rd so it is early for me. I am actually wondering whether to send one of them a birthday card (he has a birthday next month) - hopefully, he wouldn't think a second letter before getting a reply is annoying/unwanted. Or that I am pestering him, or something like that...

 
@nderson

We will be able to confirm that soon, if more replies arrive stating that they never received my first letter.
Also, I already retried, 30 days ago, people who I first contacted in October by means of e-mail forward. So we'll be able to check that month too.

The one that replied me says I'm the only penpal that she got during the 1 year of her profile online. Could it be true that transgenders get less mail than males and females?

 
GalapagosDiver

I'm convinced that in September 2018 the WAP email system was not working.  That would explain that for you!

 
FrankieBones

I'm glad your mail went through. In general if you send a letter to the same person twice you can assume that they don't want to talk to you.

 
@nderson

Hey, today, I received 2 letters from one of the prisoners I retried 60 days ago!
She says that she has never received my first letter, and that she is very happy that I wrote her.
My first letter to her was through the WaP e-mail forward, in September 2018. Maybe that function wasn't working correctly at the time?

Anyways, instead of sending the same small profile of me twice, I'm more focused in improving my profile, so to be more interesting to the inmates and that way, increase my repl rate. I already doubled the lenght of it, adding more details about my life.

 
@nderson

You really do think like me!
One of the causes of my worries is that I changed my address a few months ago, that is, I moved from one house to another. Maybe the first people I contacted replied, but the reply wasn't delivered to my actual house. Or maybe they simply didn't reply. But I checked now my spreadsheet and noticed all of them already received a second-letter with my new address, so, when 3 months pass since the second letter, it's safe to assume they simply didn't want to reply. The address change isn't a valid reason to second-tries, anymore.

As other people pointed to on this thread, receiving a similar letter twice is annoying, and it's very rare that letters get lost, so it's a waste of time to try again, as this means I'll need to wait 3 more months for a reply, time that I could be using to contact other people more prone to reply me. I decided to just add "I'll wait 3 months for a reply, before assuming declinal." on the bottom of first-letter template, and scraping the second-letter altogether.

 
ShadeyBiz89

Generally, I send a first letter to introduce myself. I tell them about why I wrote them, some things about me and my life: basic things most other people have said, I mention particular interests/hobbies I have, things I've done in my life they may find interesting, I respond to parts of their ad, I ask a couple questions based on that, you name it.

If I don't get a response, you're asking what I do, if I do the same as you? I generally think, Anderson, that your strategy is similar to mine. A second try doesn't hurt, letters do sometimes get lost or misplaced or whatever, not all the time but at times it happens. I try a second time because I always think to myself if this letter is the one letter that doesn't make it through and I don't try again, maybe I'll miss out on something good. 

My second time, I send a very brief note just explaining that I wrote them previously, I hope all is well and I remain interested in corresponding with them if they'd like. If they didn't get it, let me know and I'll resend it, if they did I hope to hear back soon and then leave it at that. 

 
FrankieBones

If you want to send letters from within the United States you can use jmail. Its quicker... But I understand some people preffer to hand write their letters.
 

 
@nderson

I also live outside USA and I find the e-mail forward very useful for the first contact, not as much due to the cost, as international correspondence isn't expensive - it's due to being quicker.

I do small edits on the first e-mail also, but I guess that I don't edit as much as you do. So, I would like to become more informed about the rules... Is it written on https://writeaprisoner.com/terms-service ? In which section?

 
Kirsten

[QUOTE]Hi, can you please elaborate on why do you recommend against using a precomposed letter to introduce yourself?[/QUOTE]

Hi Anderson,

Seen this just now. Your question was addressed to me, I guess?

Well, the answer is simple. If you use a template, for one "copy and paste" is against the WAP rules, as GD said already, but for me (and that's more important to me): Well, I'm writing to somone I don't know at all, a complete stranger. Unknown land, so to speak. I don't have a map, I just got a few words in an ad- and I do want to start a conversation and build a connection. It's like building a bridge while standing on one side of the river and inviting & encouraging the other one to build that bridge from his or her side as well.

So, what do I do? Read the ad closely & compose my message from there. And since I write to those whose ads I didn't overlook, whose ads I came back to (mostly several times before writing), these ads DO have something (or several things) which made them stand out from the others for me.

So, why should I compose a general intro when I'm referring to the outstanding, which seperated them (for me) from the general stuff? To me, that would be a contradiction in itself.

Besides, getting a typed letter with just some handwritten ad-referring stuff on it would give me (as the recipient of the letter) just exactly one impression: "Ok, that guy 's doing mass production with just adding a few more personal handwritten lines to it." I wouldn't feel "meant" or "seen" or "being recognized" as a person - and chances that I would not react to sth. like that (especially if I get more than just one letter) are relatively high.
 

 
GalapagosDiver

All my first "letters" to prospective penpals have been using the WAP email feature - being from overseas, I haven't been willing to waste money on international postage to someone who may not even reply.  So I save my money to reply to the actual handwritten letters I receive back etc.

I'd only ever use a template for a first email, not a first letter.  The trick is to edit it accordingly to ensure it still remains unique - using their name, aspects of their profile, location to create conversation, ask questions etc, while also drawing on any hobbies or things you have in common.

If it was ever a true copy-paste, WAP wouldn't send it as that goes against their rules.  It simply just acts as a way to save a bit of time and assist in first letter structure - not so much content.

 
@nderson

Hi, can you please elaborate on why do you recommend against using a precomposed letter to introduce yourself?
 

 
Anonymous

I sent five emails via WaP. Then followed a few up with JPay emails (once I understood that most prisons have JPay available via email to mail or kiosks). I got three out of five replies. The ones I never followed up with JPay emails are the ones who never replied. If I was to start a new correspondence I’d just go through JPay. If I got no reply to an initial JPay I’d move along.

 

 
IL_PPP

I don’t necessarily have a template, I just have a set of facts I address in the first letter. Age, job, marital status, etc.

I actually find the first correspondence tiring and haven’t written anyone new since like September/October. I’ve really got not interest in starting from scratch again :/

 
Kirsten

I don't have a template for first letters. First letters have to be unique, so I compose them along to the ads. I did have a 100% reply, 6 out of 6, but one first letter I got was just awful (sorry, but it was & I am happy he wasn't the first I wrote to cause otherwise I might have stopped completely). There's another one who's writing very, very infrequently, with months in between, so I would not call this a penpalship.

The other four are more or less regular writers. I'd never use a precomposed letter to introduce myself and I'd not recommend doing it.

 
@nderson

Thanks for sharing your %s .

I have a first letter template too. I noticed, after hand-writing some letters, that I was losing too much time writing the same things over and over. So I print the template, on the blank back I hand-write something specific to the inmate, like questions and why I choose herhim, and send it.

 

"Life is too short to spend it chasing after people who aren't interested in becoming your friend or who don't place high value on your friendship."

I should always keep this in my mind. I had terrible disappointments in life due to ignoring this.
Thank you for the tip.

 
IL_PPP

Ive only had 4 pals, and only one has lasted. To begin, I send out a very brief, one page letter saying who I am, etc. I’ve never not had someone write me back. With the second letter I send out a picture of myself. 

 
GalapagosDiver

I personally just send one letter.  I introduce myself, ask them some questions, tell them why I decided to write them.  I keep it quite open and friendly and also mention that it's okay if they choose not to write back, that I won't be offended or anything like that - I'm fairly laid back and carefree etc.

First impressions are usually very important when it comes to social interactions.  People generally try to portray their best selves in initial communication - both in person and via letter like this.  If someone doesn't reply back to a letter? Well, I move on and they're generally soon forgotten.  Life is too short to spend it chasing after people who aren't interested in becoming your friend or who don't place high value on your friendship. 

To answer your other question, I worked out that from 18 first letters sent in my prison penpaling to date, I have received a 61% reply ratio, of which 72% have remained an ongoing friendship and correspondence.

I have always included a picture.  By about the 4th letter, I had figured out a letter template that I then used for all future letters - just changing it slightly and adding different things suitable to each individual.

 
@nderson

My letters are not always equal. The profile I send to them on the first try is improved, removing clutter, adding more things, and presenting facts on more interesting ways. What confirms this is that the first people who replied me are not the first ones, who received my weaker, less-interesting profiles. I take the opportunity to try to present myself in another way, different than the previous time.

For example, when I started, I had no photos to send. I believe a profile without photo isn't as interesting as an illustrated one.

 

But anyways, I would appreciate if anyone who does the same can provide me statistics of success on that.

 
menyanthe

Well, I wouldn't send a second letter. Even if I did, it would be different than the first (just in case they received the first) - so that they wouldn't read the same thing twice. In the second one I would mention that I don't know if they received the first. But, in general, letters are rarely lost, so if no reply - I would consider that they do not want to reply (maybe they have too many pen pals already, or simply want one that is different in some ways).