I've been writing to female prisoners for over 6 years now. I write to female prisoners who are only looking for Pen-pals and nothing more. I tell them that is what I'm looking for too and, although we will never meet, I'll enjoy our friendship. I usually write to prisoners who are 30-years and older. I'm 59-years-old. I usually send $20 to pay for their stamps and stationery.
Most relationships just fizzle out, or they want me to give them more money, or they get released and I don't hear back from them.
Well, one prisoner, who is 33-years-old, just wrote to me and said she is getting out in April 2019 and chose a half-way house that is 25-minutes from me. After she gets out of the half-way house she is moving to my city. Her prison is about 10-hours from me and she has lived in my neck of the woods several times. Not necessary to live, but to visit people.
I'm single and I'm not in any relationship. I own my own house. I can't help but fantasize being in an authentic relationship with this woman. Her pictures are youthful and attractive. The average male dies in their mid 70's so I figure I have 15-years left of life. Why not help her and enjoy a relationship for the remaining years? I've got no one to leave my properties and money too. Why not her?
Of course, this is all fantasy because she has never expressed a relationship with me and neither have I with her. But why did she chose a half-way house so close to me? And decide to live in the city I'm living in? It has a population of 20,000.
Has anyone been in a relationship where there is a 30-year difference? What is it like?
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I meant to add that we have been corresponding for about 1-year now.
Her crime was: Conspiring to Possess w/Intent to Distribute
While in prison she has gone through rehab program and has learned new educational skills.
I'm a 30-year-old female and my Dad is 58, so I personally couldn't be in a relationship with a man twice my age just because that would feel too awkward. BUT of course all people are different, so I'm sure it is possible, and if two people have genuine feelings for each other, then it's only up to them.
However, you've only been corresponding for ~1 year, and you've never even talk about this. Maybe she chose to move close to you in hopes you would support her in case she needed it. That does not necessarily mean she has feelings for you, what if she just wants to use you? Have you thought about that? How well do you know her? I would definitely be careful about making this decision. Maybe you could just meet with her once she's out and see where it goes from there, but I wouldn't rush into things, that's for sure.
Either way, I wish you best of luck! And don't forget that you might just as well have 40+ years to live! :)
Forgive my possible mistakes, English is not my first language.
*you've never even talkED
I agree with Tilia. I’m 31 and the age gap would be too big for me personally but everyone is different.
And if a relationship has never been discussed, I really think you might be looking into it too much. If someone has feelings for you, you can tell. You can’t hide chemistry in the same way you can’t force it. But the only way to know for sure would be to talk to her about it.
I don't think that age difference means a thing once you are both 25 +. There are a lot of misgivings I would have about this and the age difference wouldn't even be on the list. Do you even know her ? People are very different on the outside then they are on the inside. So I would think you need to meet her a few times before you even think of a serious relationship, one where you will leave all your stuff to her, when you have never even met. If ur rich you can easily find a young hot girl without the baggage of prison time and drug issues which drug rehab cannot cure, they will always be addicts drug rehab just gives them tools to resist it. Still their resistance almost always fails eventually.
There are sites where you can find a super hot 25 year old who will be happy to wait until you croak then she gets you SS For the rest of her life unless she remarries plus all your stuff. Come to think of it, if I'm not married by the time I'm 55 I just might find me one.
You can tell when a person is genuine and has feelings for someone. True genuine relationships absolutely can't be faked. Also, saying every user returns to habit is a bit of an over reach. My personal experience is quite different from yours above. Some are habitual, some have a personality problem, others use to escape and so on. Just like there are many types of drug users, there are many types of outcomes. Some will fantasise about returning to a past live but yet never do it. Some just have a personality disorder and will find it hard to stay away from anything addictive. You really can’t tell what kind of person they are until you meet them in person face to face.
David, yes, at the beginning of my 20's I've been in a relationship that had that almost the age difference you gave. (not fully 30 yrs, but more than +25). Unfortunately he died of a sudden heart attack when we'd been together for a little over a year. Of course, I wasn't in prison - and he wasn't a sugar daddy, either. So, it was not about money (I didn't get any, nor did I speculate on it). No betrayal of any hidden wife, either, so forget about the clichés. It can happen to fall in love with such an age difference. We've had good, beautiful 15 months & I never regeretted one hour of it. I could only speculate about whether it would've worked out for a longer time or not, but these are just individual lives and factors, so I'd never say to do it or not to do it. I never had planned on it before, but when we met, we both didn't worry about the numbers. It was us, period.
As for you, you say it yourself: You fantasize about a possible relationship. So this is exactly what it is: a fantasy. There isn't anything wrong with that, but no one here can tell you what's going to happen if/when you'll make a reality check on it. It can work both ways, I guess. So, just meet up and see what might or might not develop out of this.
"Of course, this is all fantasy because she has never expressed a relationship with me and neither have I with her. But why did she chose a half-way house so close to me? And decide to live in the city I'm living in? It has a population of 20,000."
You should ask her the reason of her choice. I can't guess why.
Please, update the topic here with her reply, after you ask her.