Writing to an inmate of a different race?

You can watch too much TV. You know everything is dramatised on TV and on YouTube and whatever to get more people viewing it. If you saw how boring an average person's life is you probably wouldn't be watching it. As to writing to people from a different race, it shouldn't be a problem. Just make sure you choose a penpal that has the option of "willing to correspond overseas." You may waste your time and money if you don't because they simply may not write back.
 

The inmates profiles sometimes gives hints about the desired sex, age, or religion they want their pen-pals to have. If a profile doesn't state anything regarding race, that means the inmate isn't taking this as criteria of selection. Just write to them and see how they react.

Hi and thanks for your response! Yes I guess I do watch too much tv haha, but thanks for knocking some sense into me. And yes, I do plan on writing to only those willing to accept overseas pen pals! Thanks again! 

Thank you for the response! And yeah, that makes sense. I think maybe I’m trying to read between the lines too much and just getting caught up in my own thinking! This is all a gamble after all, and I’m sure there’s a million reasons why someone might not want to respond that has nothing to do with race. Thanks again :) 

You can read too much into what you're watching... Its not all violence, gangs, isolation, and poor quality food... A lot of its pretty mundane and a lot of the time they're more interested in living vicariously through your life than actually telling you whats going on in their world. They see the same foor walls, or fences, depending on whether they live in a camp or whether they live in a prison with walls. It gets pretty mundane after a while...

You can consider setting up a jmail box https://jmail.cc/ if you get more serious in writing and then they can write to you using a local US based mailing address. The turn around for Australian mail is pretty hectic from the US. It can take anywhere between 10 to 28 days.

I am in the UK and this concerned me too, to be perfectly honest.

Race is not a factor AT ALL for me, and I don't see racism in our country, I know it exists but certainly not to the extent that it does in the Us, and all prison dramas show a huge divide within prisons, based on race. I don't know how accurate these are, of course, and it's not a case of me "watching too much tv", it's just literally that I don't know how stuff is over there in reality, when I only have TV dramas to learn from.

I have asked one of my PPs about this and he said it's pretty self-segregating in there, but I don't think that a pen-pal would fall under the same rules (especially one from a different country). "In there" it might be "wrong" to befriend someone of a different race (again, I'm not sure whether this is ACTUALLY an issue, or whether it's just that people tend to stick together with people of their own race) but I get the feeling that their letters are personal, private things and that if a race issue was going to cause a problem, they just wouldn't share that with their friends.

I didn't even think about this. I know, it's racially segregated in prison, but for writing it never dawned on me I (or a potential pp) would or could have a problem with that.

Let me look into it: one Puerto-Rican American, two African Americans, one white, one multiracial (Hispanic/white). And another white one with whom I didn't exchange more than one letter.

None of them has ever made any remark about my skin color. I don't know if anyone ever thought about it (I'm no mindreader), but it would still have to be the first time for me to hear a comment on it.

I write to two black guys (one in TX and one in WA) and I'm white. My WA guy and I have swapped pictures and neither of us commented on the race difference-- we're more hyped to talk about working out and lifting PRs and whatever. I just sent pictures to my TX guy, and I'm imagining that probably it won't matter with him either.

I haven't been writing to inmates for very long, though I did know about the segregation by races thing. To my understanding, that's done more out of a sense of self-preservation/having a place to fit in and not rock the boat too much versus a "I can't stand people of X other race" mindset. I could be wrong; I'm coming at it from a pretty privliged position and I acknowledge that, but I think that mostly people inside just want someone to talk to-- sometimes even their own families don't write much because they're worried their incarcerated family member is just going to ask for money.

So, unless someone's being picky about it in their profile, I wouldn't sweat it too much-- you're probably making someone's day by reaching out in the first place. :)

Well... Unless you're writing to someone from a perspective of white supremacy... Black power... (or whatever) skin colour should not matter. But you did touch on something important. Letter writing is an incredibly personal journey. In a lot of cases you become part of their institution, their outlet to the outside "real" world. They live on your shoulders (so to speak) like carrying another there on your shoulders. Whether you can carry the burden, some people can't... You have a commitment to being there for them and in a lot of cases they will bring it up because of what they've been through.

If you do so happen to make a good connection with one of these people you may well make a friend for the rest of your lifee.

I am multiracial myself, I've been writing as a penpal for almost 7 and a half years and I've never had a problem with how they react. And if I ever did, it would be their loss, not mine. 

There was a thread about this topic a few weeks ago, I'll just say what I said there: I really honestly believe that the racial segregation thing is for within prison only, with the majority of inmates. In prison it's a form of solidarity and protection, you stay with your kind and don't mix, but most don't carry that mentality with them to outside people. I've browsed through hundreds of ads here over all these years and only came across maybe 2 or 3 which have specified race, I think most people in prison understand that penpals are of value for who they are and that all races are okay in a friend.

We are not seen the same to them as a fellow prisoner, they (generally) treat outsiders with much more tolerance and respect than they would someone in there, because it's hard to trust people in prison and they hold free world people to higher standards because we aren't one of them with a similar past that they have. So, it then makes sense that they would be more tolerant and accepting of differences racially and otherwise as well.

I highly, highly, highly doubt you will ever have a problem of a racial/ethnic nature. I'm sure the inmates you write will enjoy and treasure your friendship and letters just as you are. If they don't, move on to others who will, there are lots who will be happy to have you in their lives!

Just to add to the above, speaking of race, my pals are all of a different race than me: I have 3 black, one hispanic and one half black half Irish. Not how that worked out, just how it is. I don't look at race when selecting penpals, and I don't expect my penpals to (they don't), because no matter what skin colour or nationality you are we all bleed the same and we're all human beings, so anyone who thinks one race is superior to the other (white supremacist, black power, etc.) will not be a part of my life, I don't buy that at all.

I'm also mixed race... As In America (and Australia) most people are unless you so happen to be Aboriginal or native in the case of America Indians, Inuit’s or Chicano/other native Hispanics.  When skin color is a determinate of how close your distant relatives lived to the polar ice caps or the equator it should not factor into your choices on anything in life. It's quite ridiculous actually (but I often seem to have this conversation. As an Anglo-Caucasian man (and a real Caucas person of Mediterranean descent) who can fit in among many Hispanic/Latino and native Indian people... I find the concept of race quite ridiculous.

I don't see how anyone can stand on two legs and tell you they believe in race... but America is such a race defined society I wont change the general public opinion.

holy cow, between 10 and 28 days?? That sounds like torture to me right now haha I think I will have to make that Jmail account! Thank you!

Thank you for this! My experience has been pretty much the same here in Australia. I know that racism exists,  but I personally have never had anyone be racist towards me and for that I know I have been very lucky. And yeah, the fact that I don’t know how these things work in prison was why I was afraid/confused. Personally (aside from the media) I’ve had no one exposure to anything related to prison and crime and all that. Thank you for sharing your pen pals thoughts and experience on this, I really appreciate it and it sets my mind at ease haha. 

@sparrow I actually hadn’t thought about this issue from that self-preservation point of view, I’ll admit. I think maybe I’ve been ignorant in thinking of prisoners as ‘others’ and in a way I may have stripped them of their humanity, which is honestly a crappy thing to do. I realise that if I’m going to be have inmates as pen pals and even friends, I’m going to have to change my mindset. Thank you for this! 

@ShadeyBiz89 Wow, almost 8 years?! That’s a long time! Have you been writing to same pen pals for that long? Also, I’ve only come across one racist profile so far and I only knew he was racist because he had ‘skin head’ tattooed across his forehead! But yeah, most of the inmates on here haven’t really specified race at all, and they do all seem to be looking for friendships and to just connect to another human, it seems. Thank you for your insights and yeah, I think I’ll just write to whoever I want to and see what happens! Thanks again :)

Yeah turn around sucks, and Australia Post sucks even more. I've had what would  take around 2 to 3 days to send something across America take more than a week across Australia and thats especially if things are coming from the nether regions. I.E. sending something from Tasmania to Queensland or Western Australia to New South Wales, etc... Our internal postage is just not that efficient and it has developed a stop go syndrome. That's to say mail stops overnight at a postal hub hee in Australia where as in America it just keeps going.

That's before it comes to sending things from overseas. I've had things arrive in 3 days by courier from the other side of America in Kentucky (pretty much as far as you go before getting to Virginia) via Honolulu. Of course Louisville is one of the biggest shipping destinantions in the world housing UPS Worldport at Louisville. But anyway, sending things from there to the east coast of Australia. Yep... three days...

Australia Post sucks... If you get serious about writing you can set up an account wit Jmail and get a jmail box. It costs a bit of money, but you get a dedicated address with your name on it and once its set up its actually cheaper than the $3.50 to send a plain letter from Australia.

A a plus you can also write to all those people that don't say they're willing to correspond overseas. Which is a fair chunk of this website... and it costs your inmate one first class stamp instead of three. Where stamps are currency and are at a premium in jails and prisons in the US you can be a bit kinder to your penpals. But it does cost a bit initially...

Yes Aus Post does suck! I ordered something online from a shop down in Melbourne, paid for express shipping, and almost a week and a half later it still isn’t here. And trying to track it has been a pain in a the butt! Meanwhile my package from China came in less than 5 days through DHL.

Anyway, yes I think I will do through Jmail and/or JPay when I get more into it! I’m just waiting to see if the first inmate I wrote to responds back. I’m moving houses soon so I don’t really want to write to any new people until I’ve moved. Don’t want to miss any replies haha. The wait is agony though.  

That's the other option. You can always use their institutional email which cuts time down to a matter of hours rather than days. But some people prefer getting an actual physical letter  (even if its a scanned one)

Frankie, do you know what the requirements for envelopes are? Like, do we have to only use white/plain ones or can we use other types that may have designs etc on them? 

Coloured paper is banned in some states (Texas I believe for one) I've never had a problem sending coloured paper envelopes to federal inmates. I don't make a habit of it... Although I did send a card to my penpal in fenderal prison and it got through just fine.

The usual things apply in Australia. Either a plain white envelope with no windows, no tape, no metal or plastic fasteners, or a plain white prepaid envelope. A plain letter costs $3 or $2 at Christmas for cards only. You may use either 3 plain stamps, or a prepaid envelope but not the plastic satchel ones, or the padded tough bags. You will have to check with the state for the largest envelope you can send but I think its generally around a C4 document envelope. You will also have to check with Australia Post because I've forgotten how much that costs to send one internationally.

Do not decorate thee outide of your envelope as it may be rejected. You can decorate the inside of it if you want... Don't put any glue, glued items, paperclips, or metal fasteners including staples on any of your items. They may be rejected if you do. No perfume... No lipstick... no nothin... Just plain letters, print outs, and drawings....

$1 stamps.... I should say but anyway.

Blimey, they’re a bit strict haha but makes sense! Okay, thank you so much :) 

Jails and prisons are a bit strict particularly in the US but once you get your head around it, its all pretty simple, just nothing fancy... They wouldn't want them to have anything "nice."

@Cleo95 Dude, it's all good! I don't pretend to be perfect at this either-- I think it's just trying to see each other as equals despite our differences and doing the best we can. You seem like a really compassionate person, so I'm sure you'll do fine. :)

Aw thank you so much! It’s been a pain waiting around for responses haha but all we can do is wait I guess 

Seems unfair tbh but oh well. I was really keen on sending decorated envelopes haha but I guess I’ll have to get another type of pen pal if I want to do all of that.