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DeeCeex

 

 

So I joined WAP and started talking to a prisoner from Michigan. We hit it off straight away and we were calling eachother by the second day. It's only been a week and I can't help but gravitate towards the flirty/romantic conversations. I never wanted this to happen at first I said I wanna just get to know him as a person. I worry that it's going a little bit too fast but as I struggle with mental health I don't necessarily get out much myself so I understand how it is so easy to fall into these types of conversations. We've called over 40 times in this one week and write everyday. 

We already talk about being together when he's out and stuff and I just wonder if I'm being naive ? He's out next December and already wondering if I'll come up to visit him when he's out.

I'm worried I may be making a mistake but now I can't stop thinking about talking to him everyday. And we really connect on such a deep level. Also how can I figure out if he really has grown up and changed since his time in there? His crime was home invasion. And he really seems genuine. HELPPP

 

 

 
TALC

Many of these men are hustlers, and sad to say women in prison are a hustle. Here's some brutal facts!  Ask yourself if you are his type when he's is the streets?? If he dates young, hot blondes in the streets, and you are older, overweight, and have dark hair.. You are not his type! Be realistic. Few people change drastically. A toxic environment doesn't make these  guys better, kinder, nicer men. There are exceptions. Trust your gut. If it's to good to be true.. chances are it is. They have nothing but time to woo you. Women are company( and many times a financial resource). Be careful. Trust your gut !!! It will not steer you wrong. 

 
Northernyank

I'm sorry things turned out the way they did. Unfortunately, a lot of men in prison behave this but not all. Take the lessons learned in this past relationship and use them to make you that much stronger and wiser. Your Prince Charming is still out there but he may not be wearing a pair of handcuffs. 

 
GinaSweden

Deeceex, first Im so sorry to hear what you have been through. I have a loved one myself and its very new, but I think that like this betrayal and cheating and false people you can meet them outside prisons too, I dont think it must be more common if a person is in prison or not, but I understand your lack of trust now and yes its always good to be on your watch in every new relationship whether its with someone in prison just as well with someone om the outside. Take care.

 
DeeCeex

See update :( 

 
DeeCeex

** UPDATE***

READ THE RED FLAGS GIRLS !! 

6 months down the line and he has broken my heart, completely I trusted him and went with my heart over my gut instincts and it bit me in the ass, there's three of us females and god knows how many more he's been saying he loves  ! BE CAREFUL and don't trust a man that says it too soon, especially given the circumstances 

 

 

 
marthamary55

Hi, I speak from experience after a 3 year writin, calling and messaging relationship that your and his expectations are magical thinking within that mystery of distance. My now parolee busted plans to come here with a job lined up. Don't place your trust n dreams to anyone before an in person time tested relationship. Mine also showed flags of NPD, cruelty and put downs.I now get over hating myself for believing him. Be careful! Broken hearted

 
upwithpeople

I would slow it down.

 
Ginger84

@ Dee Ceex

Hi DeeCeex

Just wondering what nationality he is, if his an latino; do not get me wrong my man is an sweet latino, we been together for an year now and his the best that I went out with, and now his my fiancée (but we call each other husband and wife); we just know that we want to with each other!! But love they are very romantic and flirtations hehe,

The start of my relationship; my man, told me he loved me after the second letter that I wrote to him, and I was like in my head, I was like what the!! Hang on in a minute!! You are moving to fast!! As Australian culture, you need to know someone first before you start to say, the three-letter word (I LOVE YOU); but some reason, I said yes, I love you too!!

A Latino person might be more flirty and demonstrative than you would necessarily expect, it’s part of their trait of Latinos and in some cases you might misread casual flirting for romantic interest- so be cautious towards this. do not ever feel naïve. But if you feel its fast then truthy be honest with him and tell him how you exactly you feel.

Another thing, they may be different in prison, then the outside world; they may be vulnerable and easy fall in this category; put this way when did they last seen an hot beautiful women flirting with him, they are surrounded by men and given them orders by guards; so there love maybe different to our ways of thinking of love, but depending on your pen pal. Sometimes it’s not like smelling Roses in an beautiful garden, my man said a lot of nasty things to me and the next day, its like nothing happened and his all loveable again., but when he does this do not take it personally as his not taken it personal with you; as prisons can make them feel angry especially when they have an bad day and they want to leach it on someone, and this could be you.

I wish you all the best! Good luck!

 
IsabellaSJ

Girl, you gotta listen to yourself. It's only been a week! Even when you meet someone in person, the first weeks/months are usually when we feel more excited when we get along very well with someone. However, not just because this man is serving time, but in any situation, I believe that you should be more patient and ACTUALLY get to know him better before you take a step up in this relationship. You have time! It could be a scam, but it could be real... in any case, going a little slower as a precaution will only bring you the truth. If it's a scam, he'll probably lose interest and you can move on; if it's real, he'll be there for you. 
I guess the only way to find out if he's grown since his crime is actually giving yourselves time to know each other better. 
well, I wish you all the best! Good luck!