How do you stay romantically connected?

Its the power of words... and intimacy for what its worth (according to Frankie at least ) Its not about the sexualisation which goes beyond missing the point in these circumstances. You have to learn to listen to eachother and build deeper understandings by being more open as a human being. No more secrets, learning to listen, and learning to share through your deepest thoughts.

Building a traditional relationship like your parents/grandparents did based on comitment and not on materialism or sex.

Loads of phone sex lol lol but seriously I find that sometimes it just happens little talking for hours about nothing laughing, crying just letting yourself go cause you have got to know someone on a level you have never known before, I sometimes send him post cards or video grams of little things I find little things we take for granted they love soooo much 

I'm always looking for ways for Ellis and I, to bridge the gap so to speak. We have a show we watch "together" at the same time Mon-Fri in the afternoons. Obviously we're not physically together but it's nice to know that we are sharing the same thing at the same time. All of our letters, and emails are dated and we write the time in, so when we get it, we can think about what we were doing at that time. 

@Frankie, you're right the relationship is much more "old fashioned" and has made us slow down, but also feel things at a deeper level. 

@Kelly, we can't wait until his prison gets phone tablets so we can have lots of phone sex. Right now, when he uses the phone, he's in an all glass enclosure with CO's walking past all the time, and 3 cameras on him. He's in isolation and has been for 17 years now. Not to say we don't have some pretty graphic letter, and email writing. 

Ha ha ha letters are just as good but your right there is so much more like sharing small things like cause of the time difference sometimes I’m going to bed just as he’s home from work and then he calls me first thing in the morning to get me up for work and he’s just about to go to bed I love that cause he’s the first person I speak to in my day and I’m his last that’s a nice feelings. Phone tablet will definitely bring out the romantic side :-) 

You're right a relationship like this makes you value the intimacy of human connection and how deep a bond you can make with a person just through the process of making yourself so open to someone that they could absolutely destroy your life as a person but yet they choose not to... When we live in a world where relationships are driven, a lot of the time, though not always, by sex (or whatever other gratification) whats in it for ME... This kind of relationship makes you reevaluate the purposes of connecting with another human being and what the bedrock of all relationships... intimate or whatever... Should be built upon...

In the end I do believe that if its done properly it may well also teach you how to be a better human being...

I love who I am because of him. I'm a better wife, and mother because of him. I appreciate things on a deeper level. I've had to adjust what a meaningful relationship looks like and encompasses. 

I'm glad to see it's best to take things slow, because my pal had mentioned to me that he wanted us to be good, good friends with a deep bond before anything else. In the free world if anyone said that to me I'd feel rejected and friend-zoned... but I guess it's different for inmates? He's said time and time again for him it's more than sexual.. so I guess that's a good thing. If anyone wants to shed light on being "good good friends first," feel welcome.

As for keeping intimacy alive, I send a couple emails a week to help his imagination. And he regularly gets pictures of me (like printed on photo paper photos).

You are right in some senses, though not all of them (because who is am I right) with regard to what love is... You might be thinking about things on one level... And I've said things to this effect to my partners in life before... You're my best friend in the world... Now maybe you would feel rejected (who knows, what am I a mind reader?) if someone said that to you but (I believe) to love someone in this sense as your significant other, you have to also love them as your best friend in the world.
 

They took the tablets in Colorado away...we not able to send messages during the day..:( .....so now he calls me very often a day and I get almost everyday mail ;) i send pics and iam happy he has the chance to get often pics taken. 

We write letters / stories together one start the other one finish about what we are going to do when he is out.

@rins that is so sweet it sounds like your really getting to know each other. How long have you been writing each other? 

@ northernyank I totally get what you mean about being a better person before him I wouldn’t even do or be anything and he as brought out a side to me that’s like a new me I stand up for him and that made me stand up for myself  I smile and laugh my kids love him I don’t feel like he’s where he is I just feel like we are a family. 

@kellykelly we know eachother for 10 month. 

How did you tell your Kids about him? If you don’t mind me asking. My son knows him but I not told him where he is.... but I will if this is keep going 

 I waited a while cause I had to make sure but I would do that with someone on the outside too. I kinda gently used to let let them add pictures or notes in letters, then stepped up to a few minutes on the phone when we talked. Then it just all happened naturally 

@kellykelly @northerntank @IL_PPP not to be nosey or intrusive but do you think promiscuous or “naughty” pictures would get through? Do you ladies do this? Also about the phone sex I would love to do this with my man but I’m hesitant about how far is too far lol please suggestions or advise! 

i think as long as there’s no holes and your bits are covered you’re fine 

Let's just say there is nothing about my body my husband hasn't seen. He received all the pictures of me in see through lingerie up close, that left nothing to the imagination. A video I sent to him got denied for "sexual poses" but actually showed less than the photos did. Phone sex is a little harder because he's in a glass enclosure, with CO's always walking past him, and 3 cameras on him. Now, that hasn't always stopped me or him. One thing I absolutely have to block out of my mind is that my pics are being viewed by a third party (I never include my face) and our phone conversations (especially because of him) are being listened in by the prison inspector. All of the administration is aware of existence, so talk about awkward. We made the decision as a couple to try and bring sexual intimacy into our relationship, and make it as normal as we can with what we do have for options. 

I have sent pictures and videos northern is right videos get denied more the phones I find but I think it depends on the prison/jail as for phone sex the minute he got his tablet it was on lol. Of course when you love someone there is a sexual attraction so we just make the best of what we have. But talking about our day and how the kids are, work, is also just as important a good balance is important well I think anyway. 

She knows whats going on... I sent her a drawing of my male bits with a ruler next to it so there is nothing to hide... she said it was huge... I mean if 6inches is huge then whatever hey. I thought I was normal. The only thing I've ever had denied is one those books like 50 Shades of Grey or whatever it is... Everything else I've sent through has been accepted by the BOP.

well jeez since this is the second mention of a guy tracing and sending their dingaling, is there a way for me to trace and send my lady parts? Lmao y’all are too much

and since we’re putting it all out there - has anyone that involved toys in their pics had them go through?? Nothing too raunchy, just suggestive and away from the area they’re used on...

I asked my husband to do this for me and he did! We always say, one day when he makes it to GP he's going to get a hold of someone's cell phone and send me a pic. 

He traced you a pic of his dick?? LOL did it turn out ok or was it all squiggly??

Yes, this had to pass as his dick pic. He's also sent me his dna samples on printed out pictures I've sent him. Sometimes, he's like a teenage boy. He got it hard, slapped it down on a piece of paper and traced the outline. I was impressed. 

Before anything else is said, she asked me to do it, it wasn't unsolicited... It's not like all those dick picks in your other inbox on Facebook.

Omg why don’t I ever thing about the drawing and rule thing as soon as he calls me later I’m gonna ask him to do that if it’s less then 6inch then I guess frankie will be crowned writeaprisoner stud. 

@IL_PPP I guess if you say you're a D or E cup he'll get the point and then you can tell him whether you have an inny or an outy or something in between. I don't need to know by the way. You could get your boobs/vagina plaster casted and send him a photo of that... lol...

@kellykelly It's a good idea just so you can get an idea of the size and shape of it... Not that I know much about what you prefer but hey...

Well I just video called and asked him he kinda went red and said no one In the prison had a ruler mmmmm then he kinda said it was cold in there lol mmmmm 

Lol, no dick drawings for you! 

Ha ha ha looks that way ha ha but his face was priceless think he’s thinking I might have gone a little crazy. 

This thread is... Damn.. Haha

Dick drawings? Everything is fine if you don't mention holes? Hahaha This shit would make an excellent comedy series Haha