ok so i am new and i wanted to write my first letter to a inmate and i was just wondering because i am having a really hard time doing it what do i talk about? if people could give me topics that they used on their first letter that would be helpful.
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Music, pets, kids, relationship status, your boudaries (why you are there with him/her and what you are hoping to get/give and if this is not money and sex maybe politiely say that, I know... it's rude... but it helps. If they get offended by your honesty o well,) art, films, work, food.
They got nothin' in there. You got everything out here. Your life is interesting, trust me. Please pick ads that work with what you are trying to do, i.e, don't write to people "looking for that special person" if you don't wanna be that special person. Don't write to someone asking for money in an ad if you don't wanna give it. Common sense. Have fun. Don't do anything I would do. Just kidding.
I don't tell too much about myself, but I DO introduce myself.
I tell why I want to write to a prisoner, what I don't want (like for instance: I don't want to feel obligated to send money). What I do for a living and that I have pets. My hobbies.
Goodluck!
Crap, that meant to say "boundaries" of course. Also don't write to anyone super religious if you're not or if your beliefs are incompatible. Then again, I wrote to an atheist who seems to enjoy my rambles on things that don't match his stated beliefs, but just you know... the types that are ALL about that if you're not, that's too hard to get around.
First off welcome to WAP!! :) Second, as you read the inmates ad's you get a little idea of who they are, so write them a little of who you are. Nothing major or anything, just a few of your likes dislikes interests and hobbies, send it off and see if what you said sparked an interest in them. Do NOT be discouraged if you don't receive a response right away, or at all. Many times you have to go through multiple inmates to find the one you click with. :) The biggest thing is just to be yourself. :) Best of luck to you. :)
hi! welcome to WAP!
Everyone has given some good suggestions so far!.. Try those!
all though... and this is totally random.. but.. I have never stated my reasons for writing to an inmate in my cover letter. I never even said " and I decided to write to inmates because..".. I don't know, I'd feel weird doing so. To me it's like... they already know they're inmates, no need to point that out to them even further and also.. I don't want them to feel like I'm taking them on like some kind of charity case just to make me feel better about myself. I'm sure most won't agree with this or even understand what I"m trying to say.. but it's how I see it. I just introduce myself and I play into what they wrote in their ad. For example, if he talks about his love for dogs in his ad.. I mention that I have a dog (which, I do), I ask him more about it.. stuff like that. ya know? What he says in his ad is like his letter to me, I respond to it.
Well.I hope that makes sense.. and if it doesn't, oh well. lol
I've been accused of that before by a pp! "You just like writing me because it makes you feel better about yourself!" Wrong... for that I got Jerry Springer or Walmart at night or the #14 bus in Portland. No, I told him... that I'd hoped I'd put more thought into this letter writing thing than that. I guess they can feel pretty "throw away" sometimes, like they don't matter and you're just fishing around for your own benefits.
But yeah... I watch for that too... unasked for help, advice, or religiosity is lame for sure. (oooo but when they start asking... heh heh heh...) My friend says he's got a guy that comes in his cell trying to convert him all the time to Jesus and I'm like ,well you got me doing the same thing I'm just sneaky about it... trying to convert you into being good, ha ha!!!
Hi Criddle and welcome to WAP.
To start with, I would send a simple letter of introduction. Give them a brief description of yourself, where you live, what kind of work you do, your hobbies, etc. Maybe a little about your family life: single, married, children, etc. Also, you might mention where you found their ad and why it stimulated you to write. That should be enough to start a conversation on, and from there, you can slowly get to know your new PP. Happy Writing. :-)
P.S. And don't worry about your letter sounding dumb (which some people do). They are not going to judge you, they simply want to find a friend who can give them a taste of the outside world. They are going to be thrilled when they hear their name at mail call, just as you are going to be thrilled when you see that first letter in your mail box.
Thankfully I've never been accused of that. lol
I don't like people like that.... (the ones that try to convert you).. ick!
I got some very good advice in a PM some time ago - from a guy who would tell very little about himself, just enough to the letter writing started, and then as from his second letter onwards, he would make sure he was the one asking all the questions so that the PP would answer first instead of giving away much information about himself and not knowing if the PP was honest about what he/she was really thinking.
I just started off with that I saw the PP was interested in correspondence so "here's a little about me." And then I described myself, as much as I wanted to tell, age, occupation, hobbies, pets, family, travel, anything about you that you think someone, really, just anyone, would find interesting. Why would I want to correspond with you; I wouldn't overload with detail and keep it a little short, like one page. (Disclaimer: I have two PPs, and I am just starting out).
I don't know how anybody kept anything to one page, lol. Maybe one typed page. But I talk too much and even my intros I think got to be 2-3 pages.
I type everything, so one page, single spaced is perhaps 2-3 handwritten.
My intro letter to my pen pals was a full page, I had to reign myself in hehe
All further letters are a minimum of 8 pages! I talk too much maybe LOL but they seem to love it.
MM will tell me he likes to "savor" my letters. He said he doesn't rush through them....no he doesn't. Not when he's telling me it took him 40 minutes to read one of my letters the other day, lol. The day he got 6 letters in one day - he said it took him 2 1/2 hours to read them all, lol.
wow, not bad. Well at least he won't get bored too soon on days he gets some letters from you :) How long does it take for you to read his letters?
And KAM I really like the phrase of your signature.
Thank you. :)
Dunno. I know I rush through his letters the first time but I read them MULTIPLE times. And then again slowly as I'm replying. I never timed myself.
I don't like writing opening letters, I personalize each one so I always feel it has to be different from what I've thought up before, but I haven't gotten better at it over time, there's always long halting pauses before I know what to write next. Maybe because I prefer to ask them questions rather than talk about myself.
My letters are starting to get like the novels I write, but my skill at pulling a reader in seems to have worked with my pen-pals...they all write me really long letters back now, which I like! Less than 6 pages and I sulk lol - one guy it was so funny! When I got his first letter back I couldn't read it at all barely, the writing was so bad. I hesitated at telling him his writing was so crap I couldn't read it...I like him and decided to go for it, I told him his writing was illegible and was there any way he could print for me?
One of the sweetest things I have seen in his letters since (he writes so many sweet things and is a true sweetie) is this:
'Have you any idea how long it takes to print out a whole letter? But it is [U]so[/U] worth it for YOU!
That just made me adore him! His writing is getting so neat and lovely now, so as well as changing his outlook on life, and boosting his confidence, I'm helping him to write properly too..a great deal of satisfaction for me I'll tell ya