[SIZE="3"][FONT="Georgia"]Hi Everyoe. Wanted to introduce myself and say hi to everyone. I am new to this site. I have written few inmates over the years but quit writing for a few years and now I decided recently that I wanted a pen pal. I had found one on this site and hoping all works out & my letter reaches them in the best of health. I hope for my pen pal to be honest, trusting & communicative. I enjoy writing so I hope that I will brighten my pen pals days with letters & hope for the same from them towards myself. :)
I have a few fears though of writing, What happens or how do you know if your pen pal is telling you the truth? What happens if your pen pal ends up liking you more then friends in the end? To those who have became more then friends with their pen pal, How long was it before your pen pal asked you to be in a relationship with them?
Sorry for the questions, Just had a few questions in mind at the moment I thought I would ask. I hope that everyone has a wonderful day. Is writing as in hand writing the best to write or printing a letter? I know from writing years ago, Some places you actually have to write the letters instead of printing them. [/FONT][/SIZE]
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Hi & welcome to WAP, you´ll find a lot of good advice here!! i hope you find a decent person to write to! :welcome:
to your questions: i gave mine the bonus of trust as long as i don´t find out something else. i think you should be aware that bad things could happen , but i think the most people (at least those who post here)have found a wonderful person with whom they become real close. so don´t be too sceptical, but if you feel uncomfortable with anything they do, tell it to them right from the start.
me & my pp are just friends - so i say - but from the other guys around here i think the time to beginning a relationship is from 2(yes-i heard about that!!) - x letters.(not really helpful?)
i send handwritten letters only, cause i like it,but also here you`ll find 1000 opinions, some type and post it, some e-mail & some do all - from what i know the prisons don´t care how you write.
Good luck with your pals and enjoy the time in here!!!
@knicki; Thanks so much for the reply. I greatly appreciate it. I have never stumbled upon this site til recently and I found a pen pal on this site or so I am hoping that I did that lives in a different state then myself. So we'll see how it goes. I agree with the bonus of trust until something is wrong. I will keep a mental note of that if they do/say something uncomfortable, tell them straight forward about it. I would rather write letters myself. Another question I came across is do you let them write to your home address or do you go and get a post office box specifically for something like this? Odd question I know, However it crossed my mind to ask. For the relationship part, I am a bit confused. After 2 letters people have considered a relationship? Or am I reading that wrong?
Thanks so much, I am going to enjoy my time. I haven't wrote in years, But I figured I would give it a try.
some people get the mail boxes at the post office and others do straight up from their home address. I guess the very best way to answer your questions is to go through and read all the diff threads that are started...old and new, by the veteran writers on WAP because they know the in's and out's since they have been doing it (usually) for quite a while. Also, you can find out specific things for your pals prison; what you can and can't send and like that, on this site. So happy hunting and happy writing and welcome! P.S. I am new too : )
Hello !
I am also a new member. Would a newcomer be warmly welcome here? Good day you guy !
We love newbies.
:welcomebluesign:
:welcome4: To WAP
silvermist: yeah - you did read it right!! i heard people talking about being madly in love and planning to live together when he/she gets out after 2 letters/phone calls, maybe a little bit weird - but just my opinion - no offend...
i personally gave him my home adress, but as i´m from europe it´s a bit easier, as he propably will not knock at my door all of a sudden....although as he´s a real weirdo too - who knows. i think it depends on how close you live to one another and if you feel uncomfortable with giving them your home adress - very personal decision i guess and again 10000 opinions on that theme....if you have further questions or just like to talk you can also pm me .....but i´m also kind of newbie
kellyj: for sure.....i guess every newbie gets a real warm welcome!!!! so - welcome in here!!!!but be careful using this side to often could definetly make you addicted!!!
[QUOTE=silvermist;973931
I have a few fears though of writing, What happens or how do you know if your pen pal is telling you the truth? What happens if your pen pal ends up liking you more then friends in the end? To those who have became more then friends with their pen pal, How long was it before your pen pal asked you to be in a relationship with them? [/QUOTE]
Hi silvermist and welcome to WAP. :-)
You have asked two good questions, and probably ones that none of us can answer. :-) "What happens or how do you know if your pen pal is telling the truth?" Well, I think that is something that just comes with time. If a new PP starts right out needing money for this or that, then that would be a warning flag. If, however, your PP never asks for money (for three or four months), but tells you that they go to bed early, every night, and hope to fall asleep fast, so they don't have to listen to their stomach growl . . then, I think that you know that you might be able to make life just a little bit easier, for them, with some small donation. I know that is how it worked, for me, with my favorite PP, and she was forever grateful. I loved to hear how she enjoyed the ice cream that she hadn't tasted for six years. Or how nummy the ramen noodle soup was, compare to the food in the chow hall. It was heart warming, for me, just to be able to give her those small pleasures, in addition to the joy of hearing her name called at mail call.
"Becoming more than friends". I think that this is something that happens very fast, and you don't expect it, you never see it coming. And, it affects most of us. I think that all you can do is be prepared for it to happen and do everything that you can do, to keep both feet on the ground. At least until you reach a point where you can sanely decide what direction you want to go with, in your new relationship. Personally, I think that there is a lot of danger in a "written" relationship. But it does happen, so you can't ignore it. You just have to be prepared for it. And, how long does it take? It can happen in the first letter, or it may never happen. You just never know. So, that is just my opinion. I hope that it helps, a little. Happy Writing! :-)
very well said!!
I totally agree with XRay, and I was neither prepared for it nor looking for it. I have my feet back on the ground now, also due to (or should I say 'thanks to') the warnings about scams and all that. We cannot be more than friends anyway. My PP very quickly became very close to me but who knows if it's real or all a scam, I still cannot say after a few months. He claims he does not manipulate, but that's easy to say. I also agree with XRay that there is a lot of danger in 'written' relationships (also friendships!) and I have told my PP that - again he does not agree. I told him that I wonder if he is realy interested in me: I'm used to seeing guys like him (his physique) here with the most beautiful, tall and slim women and I don't fit in that picture either (well, 'moderately good average' at best, but definitely neither tall nor slim). I fear he is mostly interested because he is not in contact with many other people. But then again, sometimes we write the exact same things in letters that cross so he couldn't have known what I was going to write about, and I think he must be a good friend after all.
But I would never, ever start writing an inmate with the hope of becoming more than friends. The cliché is true, there are many fish in the free world and if you find one of those, you can at least start getting to know them straight away instead of waiting for the inmate to be released.
Oh, by the way Silver mist, I don't know where you are from, but making a donation from outside the US can be very difficult depending on where your PP is. I'm from the Netherlands and in the end I had to resort to a friend in the US for a money order because Western Union could not get it right from here (plus they are prohibitively expensive anyway).
but good luck, and keep us posted!
:party::welcome4::party:
Welcome to all new members. These answers are great however you might want to go to WriteAPrisoner.com - Precautionary Measures Taken which is the precautionary link for those writing WAP members. Remember - don't do anything unless YOU feel comfortable doing it!