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Must read Terms of Service & Privacy Policy and be at least 18

 
Sbrowne

Hello everyone,

I have been researching women who write to serial killers for the last few months and would be absolutely delighted if someone would be willing to talk to me about their experiences. I think often women who write to serial killers are portrayed very one sidedly and this might be a good opportunity to get your point of view across. My email address is sophculli [at] yahoo.co.ukrel="nofollow" please do get in touch.


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celticprincess

They may look the same, but they don't react the same.

I saw a special once where this doctor was looking at PET scans of brains at random and he picked out every single one that was a serial killer. The areas that light up are CLEARLY different than that of normal people.

Correct! There are distinct differences in their brains. Sociopaths are very dangerous creatures. Their main skill is 'acting' - they study their victim, learn how to copy the correct emotional responses, so that they appear normal. They abhor weakness, even though they thrive on it. Their victims are usually chosen because of their vulnerability, weakness or emotional personality. They cry, laugh and even profess love, but those are not emotions they feel, they are emotions that they learn to display to blend in. It is when they are blended in they are at their most dangerous.

The average citizen fails to spot a sociopath, simply because we are not looking! This is their power. Anyone who is interested in the subject and it is very fascinating, the book 'The Sociopath Next Door' Martha Stout is probably one of the best books to ever read on the subject.

It's chilling ...

 
celticprincess

I love serial killers, I find them fascinating, curious, mind boggling, I can spend hours lost in crime library reading about them. But I wouldn't write to one, unless it was in an emotionally closed lab rat sense, I would never extend the hand of friendship to a serial killer. Bella was right, serial killers are sick people, many (most? all?) serial killers are psycho/sociopaths and don't feel the way we do, no remorse, empathy, love etc. They don't want friends, it's like that guy who killed himself after writing to John Wayne Gacy, John manipulated him and messed with his head. Serial killers aren't human beings driven by terrible circumstances the way the majority of the killers on WAP are, they're less than human emotionally.

Now this doesn't mean we should treat them like rats or on the flip side condone what they did, I think serial killers or any criminal with psychopathic tendencies should be removed from society, for good. But we should treat them humanely during their incarceration, they didn't choose to be born the way they are.

That's the best description I have ever seen of serial killers I have seen a layman give. Sociopaths/Psychopaths cannot be helped, as its not really classed as a mental illness, its a personality disorder. Friends to them are tools to play with, control and use. I can't imagine not 'feeling' to me, that is as close to death as you can be whilst still breathing.

I have no empathy with them. They are monsters and the worst bit is, they like being monsters.

 
ArtemisIsLove

Serial killers have no remorse due to they do not see victims as humans to begin with. Only as inatimate objects, addicted to brutality.

To me it is like yes, the serial killers have normal looking bodies, a brain that on testing after death to technology today appear normal when studied after their death. Maybe future tech will find a answer if indeed a diff in the brain matter someday in the future.

For now my view is the body looks normal, brain according to studies, but how do we find tha alusive humanity maybe some call a soul/spirit or other is missing. Never know?

They may look the same, but they don't react the same.

I saw a special once where this doctor was looking at PET scans of brains at random and he picked out every single one that was a serial killer. The areas that light up are CLEARLY different than that of normal people.

 
gooddog

Serial killers have no remorse due to they do not see victims as humans to begin with. Only as inatimate objects, addicted to brutality.

To me it is like yes, the serial killers have normal looking bodies, a brain that on testing after death to technology today appear normal when studied after their death. Maybe future tech will find a answer if indeed a diff in the brain matter someday in the future.

For now my view is the body looks normal, brain according to studies, but how do we find tha alusive humanity maybe some call a soul/spirit or other is missing. Never know?

This is interesting because the damaged brain chemistry that causes the problem cannot be condonned and yet..that's what it is, damaged or missing brain chemistry. Thank god it's a rarity.

 
whitediamonds

Serial killers have no remorse due to they do not see victims as humans to begin with. Only as inatimate objects, addicted to brutality.

To me it is like yes, the serial killers have normal looking bodies, a brain that on testing after death to technology today appear normal when studied after their death. Maybe future tech will find a answer if indeed a diff in the brain matter someday in the future.

For now my view is the body looks normal, brain according to studies, but how do we find tha alusive humanity maybe some call a soul/spirit or other is missing. Never know?

 
prettymixedgirl

LOL well now that I am 24 years old now I am carded all the time.

 
queenbella

I can only imagine how often that happens. These kids now a days look so much older anyways, I have heard people say well you can tell by looking at them they are kids. I am like um no I can show pictures of myself at 15 and 16 years old and I looked much older and by the time I was 17 I had my son with me. I could very much pass myself off as being older.

Exactly! ... I have always looked older than I actually was. I got away with saying I was 23 when I was friggin 14. :S

 
crabhoovez

I love serial killers, I find them fascinating, curious, mind boggling, I can spend hours lost in crime library reading about them. But I wouldn't write to one, unless it was in an emotionally closed lab rat sense, I would never extend the hand of friendship to a serial killer. Bella was right, serial killers are sick people, many (most? all?) serial killers are psycho/sociopaths and don't feel the way we do, no remorse, empathy, love etc. They don't want friends, it's like that guy who killed himself after writing to John Wayne Gacy, John manipulated him and messed with his head. Serial killers aren't human beings driven by terrible circumstances the way the majority of the killers on WAP are, they're less than human emotionally.

Now this doesn't mean we should treat them like rats or on the flip side condone what they did, I think serial killers or any criminal with psychopathic tendencies should be removed from society, for good. But we should treat them humanely during their incarceration, they didn't choose to be born the way they are.

 
prettymixedgirl

I can only imagine how often that happens. These kids now a days look so much older anyways, I have heard people say well you can tell by looking at them they are kids. I am like um no I can show pictures of myself at 15 and 16 years old and I looked much older and by the time I was 17 I had my son with me. I could very much pass myself off as being older.

 
queenbella

Wasn't it Dahmer, they studied his brain after death?

Yup. It was him.

 
queenbella

i am not saying all statutory rape cases the girl lied about her age im sure some people know the age and still do it.

YES!.. Do you KNOW how often that happens?!... All these young guys being labeled a sex offender, some even serving time... and for what?!.. A lot of times, a young girl , say.. 15/16 will be dating a 18/19 year old guy. Things go south and suddenly.. " HE RAPED ME!".. or if their daddies find out about the relationship, even when the sex was consensual, and he's against his daughter dating an older boy. What does he do? LET'S CALL THE COPS!... next thing you know a young man's life is over.

I see it happen so freaking often... boils my blood I tell ya.

If you as a young girl want to lie about your age, be my guest, go right ahead.. but if you wanna play with the big boys, don't go running home to daddy when he breaks up with you or things don't go your way.

 
prettymixedgirl

They actually have terms for weird fetishes. The way we were taught things made me become exact opposite of what they taught us. I personally never waited to marriage to have sex and sex should be love making. I only like it rough I got very annoyed when once my ex husband wanted to have sex slow and gentle, I was so turned off. I think it is because they pounded it in my head this is right this is right.

 
whitediamonds

Wasn't it Dahmer, they studied his brain after death?

 
prettymixedgirl

I saw a show on tv the other week it was called "Our America." Sex offenders one guy had raped his ex girlfriends two daughters and the woman he ended up marrying had a daughter and ended up having a baby by him. He was living in the woods with 100's of other sex offenders he could be at his wifes house during the day but he had to sleep out in the woods. One of the guys admitted he had a problem and was attracted to minors only. There is a guy down the street from me he is on the sex offender site because of statutory rape, He was 19 the girl was 16. He is now older and now has two daughters he speaks out now about a lot of things and his story. I don't look at him as "sex offender." He admits now that he has daughters he would snap if he found out his daughters were involved with a older guy. The ones that make me sick are the forced rape , child molesters , baby rapers etc Statutory rape well I had lied in the past about my age when I was younger, i am not saying all statutory rape cases the girl lied about her age im sure some people know the age and still do it. There was a story I once saw on Montel a guy had seperated from his wife got his own place and was out dating around , he begun dating a girl that lived in the same complex as himself and they began a sexual relationship. One day the cops popped up at his house and arrested him charging him with statutory rape, it turned out the girl had a fake ID and was only 15 years old and used fake records to get her own apartment when she found out he was sleeping with another woman she got mad and admitted to the apartment manager. That man ended up being labeled a sex offender and can not spend time alone with his kids. They were working to appeal all that because obviously she was lying using a fake ID, birth certifcate etc She was a chronic run a way. As a mother myself I am very protective over my kids. Today you see teachers having sex with their students...

 
queenbella

You know... Looking at it from a different point of view... most (if not all) pedophiles are mentally ill. How many times is it that the pedophile in question was abused as a child himself?

Picture this:
A kid's first sexual experience is one where they're being abused/molested... it leaves scars. Major ones at that. The abuser says " it's okay... there is nothing wrong with this".. It's not at all shocking to me that this kid will grow up to believe that it's okay to touch little kids. It's twisted, no doubt about it, but it IS how that individual sees it.

If you were to trace back a pedophiles history, I bet you would find a long line of abusers. The one that abused the pedophile was also abused, the one that abused the abuser was also abused.,. and so on.

I have a friend, she was abused for most of her childhood. Sexually, psychologically, you name it. Her very first sexual experience was of her being raped. Tied down, the whole shebang. 'til this very day, she can't enjoy sex unless it's very rough and rape-esque. She hates it, and she's trying to change it,, but it's HARD for her. And why? because it's all she knows. Had she experience a NORMAL first time, I bet she wouldn't be the way she is now. The brain works in mysterious ways.

Aahh.. the human Psyche. It's a complicated and yet very wonderful thing.

 
Kirsty

Infact, just thinking, i remember a docu that louis theroux done, it was mentioned on here a few months back too about paedophiles. I remember watching that. It made me sick to my stomach, yet it still perplexed me. Some said they had attractions to minors, some were trying to blame past events in their lives, and one man laughed while getting interviewed and had no remorse.

Was a very interesting docu, but i'm still none the wiser lol

 
Kirsty

Lol i think i know what you're saying. I feel, or think, that some serial killers end up deluded, almost to the fact they're "untouchable", or believe that they are, and have a decreased mental state of mind. I'm not saying all, before anyone tries to categorise that. A serial rapist could have the same state of mind, i don't honestly know. I've never studied the minds of them to try and figure it out. But, rapists that i have come across (not on here), have been 1, possibly 2 victims, are perfectly sane, and have little or no remorse for what they have done.

You know, i think the thing that gets me so much is that i really can't understand what drives a person to rape :/ I mean, there is a handful of people in this world that i know i could kill or harm in a serious way, i, obviously, understand my own mind and know what's triggered these emotions. But i've never questioned a rapist to theirs, as i don't think they could "justify" it, as such? What could be reasoning behind it? "they were asking for it"? "it just happened"?

Oh idk, i'm sleepy, but i know what i'm ratting on about :(

 
queenbella

Maybe I'm just tired. But I really don't understand how one can judge a young boy of 14 (or 18, even) who was involved in a rape of a 11-yo girl as bad forever or something like that, but is open to understand the mind of a serial killer. What's the difference?

(Sorry for mixing 2 topics up now)

No problem with the mixing.
I don't know if I can give you a clear answer, but I'll do my best none the less.

There is a difference between understanding/exploring the mind of a (serial) killer and condoning what he has done. Let me start by setting that straight. While I am very much so interested in how (serial) killers' minds work, What motivates them, what drives them to do what they do... it doesn't mean that I'm A-OKAY with the fact that they killed someone. I just like knowing the WHY. For as long as I can remember, I have always wanted to know WHY. with EVERYTHING in life. I'm just very curious like that, and I don't really know WHY that is. It's merely from a somewhat psychological point of view, that I would want to pick their brains. Ya know?

As for why I would judge a rapist? I would judge any rapist, no matter how old they were. Why? Because rape is wrong. Yes, I know that may sound twisted considering the fact that I would gladly sit down and pick a (Serial) killers brain. Hmm how do I explain this..

With most (if not all), Serial killers... 7 to 8 out of 10 times: they have some form of mental illness/horrible childhood. [B]Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying they should blame all their actions on the fact that they're sick..[/B] but you can't ignore it either. As for a rapist, how often is a rapist mentally ill? Sure you have cases where a rapist is in fact mentally ill and their actions were caused partly by their illness, but that's a whole other story. A rapist is generally speaking very well aware of what they're doing, not mentally ill at all. And I guess, FOR ME.. therein lies the difference.

A serial killer with mucho issues can STILL be aware of his surroundings and what he's doing, I'm not trying to make it sound like serial killers are so affected by their illness that they walk around in a constant state of haziness and just walk around like zombies without thinking.. Despite their illness , of course they can still be very aware of what they're doing. But they justify what they're doing in their head. They have a reason, as twisted as that reason may be, to them it's not.

When people say "serial killers are sick. They're seriously SICK!".. Of course it comes across as everyone saying expressing their disgust about their actions. But the fact is,. they ARE sick. Mentally ill. Some even Coocoo!

I totally lost my train of thought. I also forgot what I was trying to say... :/. my bad.

 
prettymixedgirl

I am intrigued by things like that too, I even google a lot of things like crimes I watch on tv like real live crimes like first 48 , I always want to know what happened after sense they pick and choose which ones to air on After the first 48. I always thought I was "weird." I think mine started when I was like 13. I was reading all types of true crime stories and watching "forensic files." I mean I am not just focused on serial killers only just murders that took place and after I begun working at the hospital there was once a guy that came in from the prison he was a convicted killer and I remember him talking about all the things he has did why he did it and I didn't want to be all in his face asking 101 questions but I wanted to know why and I don't know if there is really a answer why someone does it. My therapist told me she thinks its because of my birth father being in prison and the fact he rejected me when I wrote him. I don't think that is why. She also told me that she thinks I am attracted to dangerous men because of my lack of a father well thats bull because my grandfather raised me until I was 18 years old and is still there for me. I don't know why I am like I am but I am me and I am unique and it feels good to talk about it without being judged my grandmother put me into therapy at a young age because of my obession with this.

 
Kirsty

Maybe I'm just tired. But I really don't understand how one can judge a young boy of 14 (or 18, even) who was involved in a rape of a 11-yo girl as bad forever or something like that, but is open to understand the mind of a serial killer. What's the difference?

(Sorry for mixing 2 topics up now)

First things first, i don't condone any crime, but i can understand some things more than others. Murder, for example - i understand what can tick some people off, what can push them to the edge. I've heard of what my pp's have done, and i understand it to a certain degree. Regarding rape, i really don't think i could get an understanding as to WHY rape HAD to be commited. It's not as if rape can happen by accident. Murder is a shocking and terrible thing yes, but for myself, rape/child molestation et all seriously nauseates me. As much as the human mind is an interesting thing, there are certain things that will continue to remain a mystery to me, that being one of them

 
Vixxxen00

[QUOTE=queenbella;993247]I WAS JUST ABOUT TO SAY THAT! lol.

I would totally write to a serial killer. In a heartbeat. [B]Why? I've always been fascinated by the human mind and how it works. I always like to know the "why"... I would be asking them SOO many questions. [/B]But I wouldn't write to a serial killer just to treat them as a lab rat either. I won't be studying him/her under a microscope. I would treat them the same way I treat all my penpals. We'd have conversations like anyone else. :) Also, my obsession with (serial) killers also might have something to do with why I'd write to one. It started when I was 11. Can't explain it. :)[/QUOTE]

Maybe I'm just tired. But I really don't understand how one can judge a young boy of 14 (or 18, even) who was involved in a rape of a 11-yo girl as bad forever or something like that, but is open to understand the mind of a serial killer. What's the difference?

(Sorry for mixing 2 topics up now)

 
Kirsty

I WAS JUST ABOUT TO SAY THAT! lol.

I would totally write to a serial killer. In a heartbeat. Why? I've always been fascinated by the human mind and how it works. I always like to know the "why"... I would be asking them SOO many questions. But I wouldn't write to a serial killer just to treat them as a lab rat either. I won't be studying him/her under a microscope. I would treat them the same way I treat all my penpals. We'd have conversations like anyone else. :) Also, my obsession with (serial) killers also might have something to do with why I'd write to one. It started when I was 11. Can't explain it. :)

I love to get an understanding of it too, or at least a grasp on it. One of my guys told me "ask any questions about anything, no holds barred", vaguely mentioned his case/appeal notes and he went into depth about what had happened, situations, mindsets...it's really interesting, and was happy that he was willing to share it!

 
queenbella

Sometimes, to the killer, the victim(s) aren't random nor innocent, in their eyes.
.

I WAS JUST ABOUT TO SAY THAT! lol.

I would totally write to a serial killer. In a heartbeat. Why? I've always been fascinated by the human mind and how it works. I always like to know the "why"... I would be asking them SOO many questions. But I wouldn't write to a serial killer just to treat them as a lab rat either. I won't be studying him/her under a microscope. I would treat them the same way I treat all my penpals. We'd have conversations like anyone else. :) Also, my obsession with (serial) killers also might have something to do with why I'd write to one. It started when I was 11. Can't explain it. :)

 
Kirsty

To me, the thought of writing to a serial killer is sickening. I can understand killing someone in a fit of passion, or in a war time situation where soldiers have been trained and whipped into a killing mode. But, to me, the cold blooded thought process that would go into hunting down a random, innocent, victim, goes beyond reason. These people are obviously sick and whether, or not, they can be "cured" and redeemed is something that may never be answered. I guess that this is one scenario where society should "throw away the key". Just my 2 cents.

Sometimes, to the killer, the victim(s) aren't random nor innocent, in their eyes.

I'm not currently writing to a serial killer, but wouldn't rule it out. I know that if i was to ever go to prison, it'd be for that very thing.

 
prettymixedgirl

I don't know if I could ever write a serial killer , I don't know but one of things in my life I can think about is the fact my birth father is a "convicted" killer. The first time he did the crime was when I was a few weeks old and he went on to prison he did get released and was not out very long before he attempted to kill a woman. I wrote my dad when he was in prison against my grandparents word and I got a very crazy letter back from him. He is mentally ill obviously but I chose not too write him anymore because he is not stable. I don't really know him but I have had the honor of meeting some of my sibilings and they talk about how they are embarassed of him and they thought I was nuts when I did write him but always was curious and I researched the crimes he committed. I even wrote a paper in my psych class about crimes of passion. Even now my older sister tells me I am crazy for writing someone in prison but I have always been "different." from the rest of them. I mean my two sisters I was raised with we have different dads. hah.

 
Xray48

To me, the thought of writing to a serial killer is sickening. I can understand killing someone in a fit of passion, or in a war time situation where soldiers have been trained and whipped into a killing mode. But, to me, the cold blooded thought process that would go into hunting down a random, innocent, victim, goes beyond reason. These people are obviously sick and whether, or not, they can be "cured" and redeemed is something that may never be answered. I guess that this is one scenario where society should "throw away the key". Just my 2 cents.

 
celticprincess

Hello everyone,

I have been researching women who write to serial killers for the last few months and would be absolutely delighted if someone would be willing to talk to me about their experiences. I think often women who write to serial killers are portrayed very one sidedly and this might be a good opportunity to get your point of view across. My email address is sophculli [at] yahoo.co.ukrel="nofollow" please do get in touch.

You're interested in both serial killers and death row inmates? I see you have posted in two separate threads..you didn't say yet which newspaper you work for or are you freelance as you use a yahoo email address?

 
gooddog

I've only seen a couple people breeze through this site that do write to serial killers and I can't think of anyone right now that does but maybe they don't make that public so that they don't get slammed for it.

 
luvacat

I would be very interested to read their comments/thoughts on WAP if they wanted to post to us and start a thread on this topic. I don't know about anyone else but I would be interested to hear the why, who , what's of these pals and their experiences. We might be very surprised to hear that the inmates are NOT what we may think......many of these men/women are broken beyond repair but I am thinking that there are some that have turned their lives around while inside and are doing what they can to help others in some way....perhaps through religion, or other ways? Do they deserve to have pen pals? Should they be in ad seg regardless for the rest of their lives? Such things come to mind and I wonder what others might think as well as what the inmates/serial killers think. I am by NO MEANS supporting what serial killers do.....I am not that liberal of a bleeding heart! These types of people pose certain high risk safety issues for others in prison, not to mention people on the outside if given the chance. Just alot of questions and alot of interest for me, personally.