Hello, I am new and have a question that I hope I can get some advice on, and some relief. Me and my inmate have been writing for 6 months 4 letters a month between us both. In his last letter he was changing housing units but at the same prison. He was his kind, polite and sweet self the day before he was to switch units but now I haven't heard from him in almost 8 weeks. We have never missed a month of writing. I don't know if he doesn't want to write anymore and decided not to tell me or if it's a mail problem. From what I have gotten to know I can't imagine that he would do this to be rude. I even offered money once for stamps and he would not take my money. Like I said, he is very kind. What should I consider? I'm getting very stressed and my imagination is going crazy. I did not meet him on a penpal site. He does not have an ad. I reached out through a church ministry. Thank you in advance for your replies.
Advertisement
Must read Terms of Service & Privacy Policy and be at least 18
Advertisement
Last post
It could be that your last letter was lost in the mail somehow. That's happened to me a few times. He could be sitting in the prison wondering the same thing about you. You should just try resending your last letter with some notes about how you were concerned since you didn't hear from him in a while.
Zarchery, thank you for your reply. I actually have kept up with our writing schedule so I have sent 2 letters and an email because I didn't want to lose touch in case on his end something was wrong. At the same time I wondered if I continued as we have without a reply would my mail be a bother to him? See, I'm imagining so many scenarios. Have you a lot of experience with this and anything to ease my mind? I could really use it. I hope he's okay.
Sorry to jump in the conversation, but have you tried to look him up on the DOC's website? Most prison websites have an inmate search or inmate locator and you can see if he's been moved and where to. Maybe he was transferred to a completely different location? If that's the case, his mail will be forwarded, but it could take a while to reach him. And then his belongings have to catch up with him too so he might be out of stamps and writing materials at the moment. I guess he's also worrying how to reach you. Hope you'll hear from him soon!
Thank you CLW, and feel free to jump in. I hope that more do. :-)
Yes, I did locate him and he is in the same place. I too have worried that he could be wishing to reach me as well, but of course the mind plays all of the tricks by making me feel insecure wondering if I could have done something wrong. I am choosing to do my best to trust that he wouldn't just leave me without telling me because as I said originally, he has manners and a soft heart. I'm just all kinds of worried and confused. Do you have any idea how mail would work if he was sent to solitary or if his unit move included him getting a job, is there a lot of red tape type of issues that they go through with changes such as these? If so he may end up getting all of my letters at once! Again, thanks for your reply. Every little bit helps.
If there wasn't any conflict between the two of you (which there wasn't if I understand you correctly) then not hearing from him isn't about you ot because of you.
As for external reasons of not getting a letter after a transfer, there could ber numerous ones, so it's just guessing.
I've seen 3 transfers since I'm doing the writing - and it delayed mail every time, but it never stopped the contact.
So, if there's everything ok between the two of you, justtrust that he will write back - and wait. Playing the waiting game can soometimes be frustrating, but it for sure is a part of writing to prisoners.
Kristen, is changing a unit within the same facility considered a transfer as well? And thank you. ☺
Oops, Kirsten. Autocorrect changed it to Kristen and I can't find the edit option lol.
Oops, Kirsten. Autocorrect changed it to Kristen and I can't find the edit option lol.
Hi Lilah,
hm... if it is in the same facility, I'd guess it would be faster. I didn't have that with my penpals. These transfers were from one facility to another one. And don't worry about the name, it's ok. But thanks for being considerate. *wink*
Did you hear from him since? You could try sending him a few $$$ if you ha e jpay..perhhaps he is totally out of funds for paper..stamps etc?
Go to the state DOC website and do an inmate search there. You should be able to confirm everything there. Also I've seen mail get inside quicker if you use the PO Box for the prison instead of the actual address. But, that has just been my expereince. He also could have lost your address. Send him another letter after checking his location!