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didnt know i could see crime. and other questions

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stianfromnorway
stianfromnorway's picture
didnt know i could see crime. and other questions

hey, im very new to this site and concept, and are still trying to figure my way around it, so i have a few questions, sorry if they are dumb.

 

i had no idea that one could see the crime of the inmate, so i sent an email to this one guy, and later found out he did a crime that im very uncomfortable with, i easily feel bad and i dont want him to be happy with getting a letter, only to be rejected later, i feel mean, but im not comfrotable talking to the guy knowing the crime, or should i try and look past his crime and give it a shot? i know hes still a human, but i wouldnt be able to not think about the crime. im unsure what to do. sorry if this sounds dumb, i know i should have read the crime beforehand. 

 

also on some profiles it says listed on the profile "writeaprisoner.com: no". what does that mean? it clearly says they want someone to befriend them and send them letters, so im confused, wich leads me to the next question:

is it so that some only want mails or contact via jpay? im not sure how jpay works, and im having a hard time understanding it. would love some replies since im having a hard time understanding.

 

thx in advance!

Kirsten
Kirsten's picture

The write a prisoner com: no part usually refers to whether the photo they post had been verified by WaP.

As for the crime: depends on you. On the one hand, if you feel too uncomfortable, don't write. And check the crime beforehand if you choose another one.

On the other hand: Heck, if he wrote sth. in his ad that truly spoke to you (I guess he did, why would you write otherwise?), then maybe you can get a bit of ambiguity tolerance? Ppl (most ppl if not all) are contradictory.  Take Michael Jackson for instance: it seems like he did some horrible things to some boys in terms of sexual abuse which is absolutely despiseable. And he wrote and sang some real good music. Both. 

And while there is no excuse for what he did (there isn't) the deeds still don't make the music bad.

Ppl can be great - and ppl can be monsters. Both - and probably almost each of us at least to some extent.

So, IF you're able to see him as someone who is both (who committed a horrible crime AND is a human being) then I'd say: write. If you can only see the crime, then: don't write. and if you can only see the good human part and not the crime at all, then don't write, either, for you might easily be trapped into manipulation.

The choice is yours.

Good luck in whatever you decide to do.

Kirsten 

stianfromnorway
stianfromnorway's picture

thank you so much Kirsten! i appreciate the answer. i guess i'll give him a try, and as you said his profie really spoke to me, so maybe i can see past it, but keep it in midn at the same time!

Kirsten
Kirsten's picture

I wish you the very best, Stian. And should you find out you can't deal with what him in the long run, you still tried to see the whole picture and not only one part of it. That, to me, has and is a reward in itself, regardless of what happens because or otherwise of it.

Seeing both sides in ppl has been part of the enrichment the whole experience of writing to prisoners has brought to me so far and it taught me a lot about my own "this AND that" instead of "one OR the other".Not always easy to face, but it's been worth it, for sure!

Have fun and happy writing!